televisions' life support

t.o.w. the tee vee pee wee

2007-11-29T15:04:00.000+08:00

Sony Bravia is so freaking ugly.

Where is my Samsung.

Where is the sanctity of a promise.

Where the fuck are they when I need them to step up and show me they are worth growing up to?

Oh and I think I may want to focus on behavioral economics.

To study how FICKLE consumption can be and how intertemporal too.

MY GOD.

Who the hell names a machine Bravia. Is it like female for Bravo?

t.o.w. all the talk

2007-11-25T21:05:00.001+08:00

I need joeyesque.

Had dinner with Jie Long and Fabian on Friday and it was nice. Slow, sedate, real and despite all the long moments of exclusion, still reasonably enjoyable.

I've always known it easier to unload off friends who arent that close. I guess that stands.

And then had tennis. I'm really unfit. Seriously. Tomorrow I shall go for Live Walk. Heh.

I had a 9 tai zi mo last night. 7 doubles with 2 flowers, I cant believe I didn't win in the end. Madness.

Today was tv day. This is PROJECT RUNWAY, DAH!

18 work days to the end of the year. Woohoo!

t.o.w. the comeback of the year

2007-11-18T12:21:00.000+08:00

A night match at a dilapidated area in the western part of Singapore.

Rained washed out most part of day play and so the match was a continuation from previously.

I thought I started off well, racing off to a 3-1 lead. Hitting pretty accurately. Maybe even painting the lines. Perhaps that was the problem. I started to miss. Excessively and soon wound up dumping the set into the gravel with a magnificent display of errors fittingly befriended only by the grandiose stance of the Dementieva serve.

My opponent started moving side to side along the base line, and even though I was moving forward to catch the ball early on the rise, I could do nothing against his speed. Brute-like speed. Was he even human?

I went on to lose the second set as well but somehow managed to claw my way back into the game by taking 5 out of 6 games in the 3rd set.

Then it rained.

I desperately wanted to win. But, how was I to win 2 sets during the night match when my previous one was just 1 game short of a whitewash? I really couldn't see myself pulling off an upset and yet I refused to think about it. Assured that nonchalance is an armor strong enough to fend off what was to come. I could not admit obvious defeat.

Crunch time. Miraculously, I started off the evening's proceedings well - slapping 3 emphatic winners in a row to clinch the 4th set. Down to the wire this time, I told myself. During the court change, I was so pumped up. Determined that the sweat and grim suffered today and the many previous would be the last.

I pumped my fist and slapped my thigh. The show must go on.

Alas, my opponent upped the ante and started to hit with the form that saw him decimate me in previous match ups. He threw a string of winners too to level up the final set. 5 all. We went blow for blow. Trading winner after winner, error after error. Once, I dumped a shot so low into the net I thought no one would even see it to tell so. 7-7. This was it.

In the final 4 points, we first traded courtesy shots, eager to not lose on an error, certain that the emotional trauma from it would certainly grant the other victory. But I couldnt resist that weak backhand sitter. I ran up and plummeled it into the open court on a off forehand. 8-7. I was shouting in my head. I needed to keep it cool.

The next shot was a beauty. A strong serve followed by a weak return from the opponent barely 50m away from me. I rushed forward with the drop. 2 bounces before it rolled to a stop on the service line. 9-7. The adrenaline could drown. I tried to keep cool. Froze in my position. But in me, the raw emotions of chance and excitement were getting the better of me. Alas. A double fault. Match points for both players on my serve.

I could not let my nerves do this. I screamed the loudest I ever had. COME ON.

Bounce. Bounce. Stare. Toss. Pull Back. Leap. Connect. Serve.

The ball flew through, pass the net and landed neatly on the sidelines, barely touching it, my opponent reached, missed. There was a roar. Victory? And then a hush. He challenged the point.

Hawk Eye never really was my friend.

The screen came on, the ball motion tracked, it flew over the net and landed on the line. Barely making it.

YES!

Victorious. The bane that had me cursed in 3 previous match ups finally sang his fat lady song.

Good match, Figure 15.

ATP. 20/40, PASS.

Wee!!!

For the 2 seconds that I jumped up yelling Yes Yes! I was never more embarrased and yet, never more nonchalant - it is the armour strong enough to fend what is to come.

t.o.w. all the bad timing

2007-11-12T21:49:00.000+08:00

This is a week where Murphy's Law is just about hitting the nail on the head. Except that Murphy's Law is sledgehammer that weighs 15 tons, banging in a nail on my head.

1. The realisation that despite the improvements in technology of communication, the real limiting factor to dialogue is none but man himself.

2. The incredibly fucked up timing of things.

3. The dawning that things are far worst then I singled them out to be.

4. The yearning and yet the inertia to get things going.

5. The uncertainty of things.

6. The crisis of individual personification.

7. The fact that my scalp hurts when I pull on my hair doesn't help.

Oh, Come on!

t.o.w. lions for lambs

2007-11-11T00:14:00.000+08:00

God, I needed this.

Finally a show that was powerful and poignant enough to erase the nightmare that was Stardust. Haha. Not that Stardust was atrocious, but it was rather weird and lame in a medieval kind of way.

So as a proud lefty, I say heck the critics and go watch Lions for Lambs. Acting thumbs up, although I thought Tom Cruise was too (horizontal) and really could have explored the (vertical). Meryl Streep was at her usual Sunday best and Robert Redford, well all I can say is that he's really ageing. Haha. But nevertheless, I thought the film explored really good themes. And despite the outrage against how anti-republican, anti-war and anti-america the show is, I thought it really was an accurate reflection of the democrat's take on the current situation in and abroad of America.

How political apathy is actually a free get-out-of-jail card for the government's temerity in some of her atrocious decisions in Iraq. How righteousness is a often misconstrued effort for peace; how they deviate. How the war against terror started out with America on a united front; in solidarity, but how it all fell part along political lines after the terrible choices made by the shrubbery and his staple. How the war, nevertheless, must and will go on till the stars and stripes wave victorious, because of how showmanship has come into play, sadly, into the faith of people's lifes. How brave the men and women of the military are - lions unafraid to stand tall at their death, one sentenced to them by the lambs that are their leaders.

The Republicans and the Pro-War, Pro-America people diss the film. Diss it for the Oscars that it will laud and recieve. Since when did Pro-Freedom give way to Pro-War for the movement behind Pro-America.

To all the American Republicans - they've made their film, so put your gun down and start making yours and then let the people who use their mouths instead of muzzles do the talking.

t.o.w. the compulsive addictive

2007-11-10T13:32:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder if I have a disorder.

A compulsion for everything to be perfect, to win always and to accomodate no one.

There's a term for this.

I have no mood to blog anymore.

This makes this post less than perfect, hardly a winner and definitely offers no form of accomodation.

I think I need sleep.

Dinner?

t.o.w. the birthday strike

2007-11-09T09:05:00.000+08:00

Pencils down means pencils down.

What a haughty birthday gift.

Dear writers from Hollywood,

As much as I am on your side, supportive of your rights to your wonderful material that has me glued to the screen, I do not support your strike.

This is because less writing means less acting which means less watching for me.

So please, be a dear, and retract the strike.

Afterall, it is my birthday month and as TV's most loyal fan, I think I deserve a present.

t.o.w. the part two essay

2007-10-31T22:46:00.000+08:00

I like my television. It’s therapy for any mood and groove I’m in. I watched the entire second season of “Grey’s Anatomy” right after my last “A” level paper. The powerful episodes overwhelmed with intensity of feelings were great fodder for a student ravished of all emotion by his books over the past few months. I also watched multiple episodes of “Friends” upon receiving devastating news of my deferral to Columbia, for the way the cast stood together in all of life’s ups and downs through the spirit of laughter was uplifting and reminded me that my own friends were still there for me.

There is something magical about moving pictures, the perfect song in the background that plays in sync with the show’s happenings, and the beautiful sentences that effortlessly weave themselves together upon being spoken. Television exposes us to raw emotions that we might never feel in life’s worth of experiences. And while it is true that not all television is good television, I recently watched two epic films that made me cold to my bone with fear and anger and it has propelled me to try to set it right.

In “Blood Diamond”, I saw how children not more than ten years of age in resource-rich, democracy-poor Sierra Leone were brainwashed with all the wrong ideals and notions of false nationalism. To see a once cheerful boy gun down a man without batting an eyelid and with absolute conviction is heart wrenching. I have learnt of such cases in the papers but to place a visual on this absolute horror has pained me in extreme ways.

The second film was a recent episode of “One Tree Hill” that shed light on how high school cliques and demeaning stereotypes could lead to terrible events ala the 1999 Columbine High School Shooting in Colorado. The show struck home because I’ve been stereotyped and labeled a lot myself throughout my high school years. And while I’ve always been able to laugh it off as high school immaturity on the part of others, I know firsthand that being branded a timid geek or a dumb jock or a fat nerd is terrible because it introduces us to the persona that we try so hard not to be on the inside even though we may look the part on the outside, and forever cages the person that we truly are.

Yet, I know such shootings cannot be tackled via their root cause. Cliques and stereotypes are as much ingrained into our lives as television is. The recent “Survivor” that sorted tribes by race taught me that like would always associate with like be it through a connection of age, gender or interest. But what can be done is to spread word that violence and bloodshed are never the answers to our problems. And I want the children in Sierra Leone and the bullied stereotyped student to know this.

t.o.w. the weekend fiesta

2007-10-08T17:55:00.000+08:00

The whole weekend, together with its juxtaposed weekday days have all been a bit of a blur. I've slept so much it almost feels like I hate to sleep now - which says a lot and in fact, I think I take that back right now. Sleep is a godsend. Sleep is everything.

But I guess thats all one does when one is ill. Boo. I jinxed myself somewhere mid last week I think when I started complaining about how I'm never sick to get a mc for a longweekend. Well, that I did.

I'm very happy with McTv. The whole season 9 of friends in inside and I will now strive to extract myself from my comfort addiction and start taking public transport more often. I also have 2 albums of Gabrielle (which I just can't get enough of), KT Tunstall and Keane. All of a sudden, I'm very into britpop. haha. If there ever is such a genre. It makes me want to wave my fingers in the air, in front of my face and tap dance. Ok, block out that visual you dweebs.

Something I'm not very happy with is my essay. My applications. My future life. Argh. I can't get it going on. Nothing is coming out. This is why I so despise the emerald obligation I have to serve - it just strips me of all ability to think. Damn damn damn. Help!

I'm also quite displeased about people. People in general. Me and how everyone else sucks in this world together. We are such imperfect people. I hate us.

Sometimes, despite knowing how good you have it, you just can't stop yourself from stopping yourself in your tracks and thinking if all you've down your entire life is walk in circles. I'm there right now. I need some sort of direction.

I also need to get my butt of the bed and sofa and start exercising.

Toodeloodums.

t.o.w. the return of television therapy

2007-09-30T22:16:00.000+08:00

I am starting to feel whole again. Whole again. Whole again.

All my friends are coming back to me.

Bailey and her motley gang of the folks at Seattle Grace, Michael and his fugitive friends, Probst and his Underwear Tribe with the most intense Clothes Grabbing, Sarah Walker, her "no-oooo" along with the rest of the Walkers (illegitimate or not), my scandalous friends from Wysteria Lane, my Hiro! and my Nikki! and my Micah! and the whole group who woke up one day having to save the world, Addison and her new friends fom sunny LA and of cos, I'll never forget, my friends from NYC.

I AM SO HAPPY. TV IS BACK AGAIN.

On the other end though, I'm still beaten up over having lost track on my broody O shows. I need Peyton and Seth back in my life soon.

Lalalalalala.

Welcome,

Secret Mondays, Feuding Tuesdays, Breaking Wednesdays, Fighting Thursdays, Drooling Fridays, Brooding Saturdays and Voting Sundays!

A show for everyday of the week!

Life cannot get better.

And on a totally separate issue, I swear I have the worst luck when it comes to meeting people. Seriously? Seriously.

TV. TV. TV. Hee.

t.o.w. the circle

2007-09-23T02:34:00.000+08:00

Good friendship is like a circle. It has no end, it has no beginning. It just is.

To all my different pockets of friends, I hope we withstand the challenges of time, space and above all, I hope we withstand us.

t.o.w. green with envy

2007-08-27T21:12:00.000+08:00

A lot of things changed since enlistment.

One of them - my predilection and digust towards certain colours respectively.

Obviously green has become a most disastrous colour. The dull, sullen, droopy, insipid shade is now no longer hip, cool and classy.

Blue seems to be big now. Columbia's blue! NYU's purple can almost be a shade of dark blue and somehow, Miss Liberty's copper-green hue is almost semi-blue. Blue's big.

Brown remains chic. Despite the muddy, broody tone, brown still rocks my socks off.

But anyway. I don't think I've bought anything green since January 12th. Until yesterday.

Oh, it was just so beautiful. So classy and so pretty. I couldn't resist it even though there was a brown version right next to it. It just seemed right. Even though the bloody though sexy green comes in hue / shade / tone known as RIFLE GREEN. Classy.

Majesty the Shoe though (w)hol(e)y, now has a new friend - BB - In recognition of my Bitches from the Bowling Brigade charade, this is the green mean bitch bag.

Drool bitches, drool.

t.o.w. the end of an era

2007-07-23T10:37:00.000+08:00

Has it been 17 years already?

How the hell Ms Jo managed to write 7 fascinating books in the span of 17 years and yet ultimately have everything fall into place is way beyond me.

But this is the end, or rather, the close. Voldy dies, Harry survives, marries Ginny and has kids - one named Albus Severus Potter - the middle name stemming from Snape who, to my utmost disbelief, has always been on the un-dark side. I hope I didn't spoil the ending for anyone. If I did, you just have to blame yourself for READING SO SLOWLY. I am quite pissed. 2 days into the release of the book and no one is ready to discuss the plot with me. Very upset. And you mudbloods dare say you grew up with Potter. Goblins...

But anyway, I don't know if HPATDH was my favourite book in the end but it was most different from the other school-based settings. The final battle at Hogwarts was epic and really should have been the only way to end the book. To have everyone come back, take sides and duel is perfect, most perfect. =)

So thats the end then! Happily ever after, after all these years. I cheered as the trio battled the many defences of the Philosopher's Stone, cringed at the idea of a Basilisk roaming the castle grounds in Chamber of Secrets, was amazed by the twists and turns of Prisoner of Azkaban, impressed with the ending of Goblet of Fire that paved way for the stories to come, flipped each page with my eyes glued to every word during the duel at the Ministry in Order of the Phoenix, could not believe that Snape killed Dumbledore in Half-blood Prince and finally, stared in disbelief at the very last word of the series in Deathly Hallows.

I say to hell with Potter, the chosen one. I revere Ms Jo. To have come up with such a magnificent concept that eons of children all over the world will fall in love with and stay loyal to for 17 years is magic beyond magic.

Now that the end has come, I guess the only relief is that thousands more children will begin to come of age and lay their hands on these 7 Horcruxes - books that store souls of faith, love, hope, friendship and kinship. And the best thing is that unlike those of us who grew up with Potter, these kids will have all 7 treasures in front of them when they read!

All hail Queen Jo!

EXPECTO PATRONUM!!!

Sorry, I couldnt resist. =)

t.o.w. i meet monica

2007-07-15T20:40:00.000+08:00

I actually had an idea for this entry on Friday - a day where all was good and well. The supposed entry was to be filled with silly banter, puns and amusing language. Sadly, today is Sunday and all there is to it is PHLAT.

Anyway, in essence, I finally met Monica from Monica@ Work. And realised that Monica from Monica@ Work is not the boss of Monica@ Work. I am so dull. I blame Sunday.

This week was terribly packed. And I mean terribly. While I don't blame anyone except myself for letting such a silly schedule get to me, I really can't help but do so. Haha. So to all whom I met this weekend, RWAR. Again, all these angst, I blame Sunday.

There is just so much going on right now. The Board tomorrow. Mum being not around this couple of days. The dread that the uni apps bring with them. What I really want for myself and my family in the future. The people around me and what they have to go through and what they will be going through. What I have to go through.

I'm trying to dig deep here. Back to a couple of weeks ago when all was well and rosy. Perhaps , dare I say and I hope I'm wrong, optimistic to the point of foolishness. All of a sudden, all is bleak again.

I feel like a dementor is hovering above me.

Which is why I want to join the order of the phoenix. To learn how to conjure a patronus charm. I hope my patronus takes the form of a giant tennis ball. WHACK.

Dig deeper dig deeper.

But through it all, I suddenly feel like what I'm going through is no longer as menial as I made it out to be in the past. It has translated into greater things, greater than just an unwillingness to losing 2 years of my time. And while I'm appreciative that if anything, I am not a piece of rock or a person with the emotional maturity of a baby lizard (one of which I just murdered today, flushing it down the bath drain with hot, boiling water), I still would rather be basking in the luxury of a free, unboggled mind. I have to admit, that in recent years, I have evolved to someone less of a thinker. Bit of an airhead maybe even. And I'm telling you they were good times. And I want them back. RWAR. I'm a mess.

Expecto Patronum! Expecto Patronum! I don't even have silver wisps coming out of my imaginary wand. Even Longbottom did.

t.o.w kenneth feels recharged?

2007-07-09T18:24:00.000+08:00

Am I supposed to feel recharged?

I've been on my own bed 4 nights in a row now, had 3 good days at home to sleep, read, eat, bathe in hot hot water and chill. And yet I don't really seem to be up for whats coming again. I think I've had a bit too much to indulge in. Its a raw feeling. But I'm still trying to keep the optimism that has carried me through for the last week. And granted I may be in a bout of hot soup right now without knowing it, I really can't be bothered. Haha. Terrible isn't it. And I got so irritated when I recieved 3 calls today about work. Although it shows on one hand how indispensable I am in the running of the office (hurhur), it really does bug me on the other ; knowing that I can't even get a good day off. Irate, Irate. And I don't know whats wrong with me. During the days back I just want to laze around at home and mope my sorry ass on my bed but then just when I'm about to go back to the hellhole (or rather homely heaven seeing as how I'm trying to channel optimism), I feel like crap not having spent my weekend fruitfully. And then I start arguing within myself again that staying at home and chilling is also a "fruity" way to idle the weekend over and then I go back and forth back and forth. And its really irritating! What exactly should I be doing! Not fussing over how I've spent the weekend thats already gone most definitely! Rwar.

Haha. And then theres the looming dread of going back to this week of crap. The uncooperativeness I'm facing, the fingers pointing, the arrows shooting. Then again, I'd take this any day over the crap I orginally had to deal with. And I wonder if I'm a workaholic. I think in the future I may just be. I don't seem comfortable with leaving the place in their hands, even though they've been there long enough. I've built a nice little reputation that somehow I myself seem to be throwing bricks at, not to mention these dweebs. Haha. But I guess at the end of the day, I'm learning something so at least I hope I can say these 2 years were worth the time learning something, (yes even the iffy photography sessions - i am now well versed in hasty defences and deliberate attacks, mega hurhur).

And admist all these complaining I still think about him at the back of my head. How he must have not known at all. How he must have woken up having plans the following day that would forever remain plans. How he never knew his last run was his last. And most frighteningly, how he never knew his final adieu to his mother would indeed be the final goodbye. He's a stranger and yet he's taught me more than some friends have ever had. And if you ask me, it really is a lesson I'd rather not have learnt because it would then mean he would be alive. But no magic can bring back the dead and I guess I'm determined to make sure that the lesson he taught me was worth his while. And I think it would be wise for me to here warn myself that if I were ever to slip back to my old ways then that would be an insult to him and to his family. And I would never be able to be in good conscience face my own friends and family should that happen. So I guess, Thanks to Thaddeus.

A whole lot has happened this week. And suddenly I realise its about time I start to get on with the uni apps now. Columbia again? Cornell? NYU perhaps? Dare I dream Harvard? Yale maybe? I'm at lost. I hate to have to go back to uni fairs and all. I don't want to see andre. He would remind me to much of a life I need to have right now. Haha. He still rocks though.

I really look at my actions over the past week and can't help feeling silly. Can't believe I fancied myself capable of coping with more than I already have to. Things have just gotten slightly better around the camp and I have so little time as it is for the people who matter, silly real silly. But I must say the experience has shed light onto some drastic thoughts. And suddenly I see myself thinking about the person that I am, the person that I have come to be and the person that I want to be.

More thinking, more feeling.

Sometimes I wonder where the last 2 years went to.

And after yesterdays heartwrenching tennis final, all I can say is I miss Jennifer. I'm so glad I got to see her play when she still was playing. Yes! I need to live life to the fullest!

Crap. I started the whole "is a day at home chilling living life to the fullest nonsense" again.

The phrase of today is tall cafe mocha extra shot and piece of shit.

bye bye babies.

t.o.w. mahjong at mt faber

2007-07-08T16:25:00.000+08:00

And for a moment life just stopped and stood still.

And we looked out into the open skies, with what stars there were shining bright yonder, aware of each others prescence and yet each comfortably retreated into our own thoughts and troubles, knowing that we were there, though unknowing and oblivious to our true struggles, but we were there.

And then the moment passed.

I really can't believe how close I still remain to this bunch of friends I've known for more than 10 years. How there really are no inhibitions here (ok, maybe some). How we weave our new lives into those we shared and had in the past. How we laugh at things old and new. How we treasure the memories we created and now create, old and new respectively. Life's good when you have people like this.

I think the past week I got more than I could ask for. More than I should have asked for. Unknowingly, I had so much on my plate already, I really don't know why in the world I went around begging for more. To feel included perhaps, to feel normal. But I say la vie boheme to that. I guess I've learnt a little something about rushing and what I truly want now for this period of time. It really is a moment of clarity, one to ponder about life's decisions, one to step out and observe for a little bit to gain new perspective and one to cherish and celebrate the many beautiful and wonderful friendships I have developed.

I know relationships keep a lot of people going. But for me, for now, I just can't get enough of my friends and family.

And then all of a sudden, I'm not so alone again.

"now or never, now or never, we must achieve more

now or never, now or never, we'll do our best for a better singapore!"

t.o.w. too much too soon

2007-07-07T19:51:00.000+08:00

I blame myself partly.

Sometimes what we want the most, hurts the most.

t.o.w. nospaces

2007-07-01T13:42:00.000+08:00

I'm excited.I'm excited.

Suddenly I feel human again.I feel the way I should be feeling for where and who I am now.Yayness!

I keep listening to Fergie's Big Girl's Don't Cry.And I keep trying to look for Gwen's 4 in the morning.Please send it to me if you have it. I will Not Cry for you at 4 In The Morning. Heh.

Yes.Positivity transcends all other powers in life!Shit coming will be shit shat!And when its all flushed away,the toilet bowl is clean, nice and happy again.

LYAM!LYAM?

t.o.w. kenneth's a wreck

2007-06-29T21:21:00.001+08:00

Everybody Always Leaves.

Why is there never an everlasting moment?

Are we an insatiable race?

Why am I not stronger?

Why am I such a disgrace to the people I cherish?

Never more than ever do I feel like I don't know myself. What keeps me going, what doesnt. What makes me strong and what makes me feeble.

I need answers. Good ones. From Myself.

But with the barrage of work and super stupid people around me, when will I ever figure this out?

Why do I not feel the way I should be feeling.

t.o.w. who what why

2007-06-24T21:38:00.000+08:00

Who am I.

What am I supposed to do.

Why am I the way I am.

t.o.w. the move

2007-06-17T19:09:00.000+08:00

New York, New York, so good they named it twice.

I wish I could say with convition that I'm moving there. I know I will. Somehow, someday. I will make a home out of New York. But the uncertainty of how long, how much and how how is all killing me. And as much as I am happy for friends that are fulfilling the new york dream and feel as though I can live my freedom life vicariously through them, it still bums me to know that I'm still not there.

After all the dreaming, the studying and the applying. It still really is a dream unfulfilled.

And so my room is donned in the lovely hues of blue, red and white.

Ok, I admit I may have gone overboard. But you haven't seen the handphone wallpaper, the jigsaw puzzles, the t-shirts and the small little american flag I have sticking out from a ball of socks in my camp cupboard. =)

Anyway, the move move is not this expectant move though.

Come next April, the house I called home for close to 14 years may be reduced to rubble. And as much as I am excited about the move, I really don't see how I'm going to deal with such a huge change.

I love my green meadows.

Moooo.

t.o.w. the death of the non president

2007-06-08T20:06:00.000+08:00

To the namesake, of the famous great american president, who is unfortunately not made of presidential material but instead, filled with crap.

and

To the namesake, of the wonderful airport in the world that just cleverly prevented itself from being bombed by terrorists, who is bomb-worthy himelf.

I will destroy your life.

Even if its not within this remaining one and a half years, I'll make sure I'll hunt you and your low-lying self-deprecating cheapskate fugly job down and make sure you learn what its like to be human.

You are as compassionate as you are intelligent, as humane as you are humble and as incomplete as the hole in your mouth (aka anus) from which fungal fumes and saprophytic shit release themselves into the world - thereby polluting the environment.

You watch out, you power-hungry freak.

I wish I was your boss. I'll make you work on Mothers day and Fathers day. You probably won't mind since you aren't close enough to your family to know the importance of these days to people and cos' you'll probably end up alone and sad for the rest of your life cos' of a ball-crushing "accident".

Happy Fathers Day!

Regards,
Your LOWly Private.

P.S. Cherish your privates! You won't have them for long!!!

The above entry was written in absolute anger and so must be taken with absolute realism.

Cheers.

t.o.w. this is my now

2007-05-27T20:44:00.000+08:00

Lovely Jordin won it. =)

I am a proud fan. She reminds me a lot of Kimberley Locke, whose sophomore album, sadly, is not very good. Oh well.

Anyway. The GSS sucks. Zara has no sale so it sucks. All the lovely polo tees and berms and belts are calling out to me. And I have no money and no sale-impetus to get them. I also think that with my new army weight, I no longer look good in anything. I feel unworthy of Zara. Haha. All I deserve is a green bamboo pith suit cos' I am sickly thin. Thin thin and green. Green and unhealthy. Unhealthy and unhappy. Oh, I could go on with this all day.

Vappy is holidaying in China now although I won't go so far as to say she is having a hell of a time in the wilderness and mountains. Haha. Thanks be to communication devices. Which, by the way, has also brought things with fellow STB interviewee to a rather interesting point. I am at crossroads. Listen?

Anyway, back to Jordin and her now. Well, this is my now too. But a very very different now. Whereas hers was a victory now, I am now at a pick me up now now. I feel useless and detached and very very very un-me. Or maybe this has been me masquerading under a strong veneer of a facade all these while. Either way, this is my now. And I know this now isnt technically going to be now now per say cos I don't see myself becoming any more emotionally strong or independent or less of a procrastinater immediately after I hit the publish button, but I trust it obvious that with all these incessant rambling, one can see how much of a grave I am in. A grave I started digging early these year and it seems all I have been doing in an attempt to get out, is to dig further furiously, as though there was an end to the digging. As though if I digged hard enough and fast enough, the escape would be at the other end. Geographically, I don't know how that would work out without me getting my ass burnt by the earth's hot hot core. So I am stuck. Stuck stuck.

And I feel fake. Grossly fake. I can tell you I never expected this much trouble coming into this. But it really does seem that every step I take, I get thumped two back. I feel fake to the people I am around all day, I feel fake to the people I used to be close to. I feel fake to myself. Fake fake. So this is my now. Now now.

Now for me to accept my position in this hell of a hole I have created for myself.
Now for me to accept that the only way out is for me to transcend the crap I am surrounded by and rise above it all. Digging back to where I know (or I thought) I had immense strength in.
Now for me to accept that I, I have to start NOT SETTLING for the cheap easy way out.
Now for me to accept that karma bit me big in the ass.
Now for me to know that this is something I need to do.
Now for me to know that otherwise my whole 18 years of previous existence was probably me being fake, false and invalid.

THIS IS MY NOW.

Now now.

Now now now.

Now now now now.

After typing it so many times, I suddenly feel like NOW is not the way to spell now.

Maybe NOW is WON.

t.o.w. the television

2007-05-20T16:03:00.000+08:00

So much has been going on, I really don't know where to begin.

And what to begin with.

I guess a lot of it I leave behind the fences of the camp because I just don't want to bring these troubles and struggles back home. Having to achieve what I want to do within the very short weekends, having to live with the fact that at the end of the day, I wasnt strong enough to not settle for the easy way out and having to deal with the strain pain of seeing each second go by - trying to live it for what its worth but never being ever to fully enjoy it with the nagging curfew in mind.

So when I am temporarily liberated, I block myself from feeling this strange melting pot of emotions - of disappointment, of love, of lethargy, of uncertainty and of painful nostalgia. But I've learnt that not feeling is the equivalent of not living. And yet all I do to mask the fact that I am not coming to terms with what is, is to watch a whole lot of television to experience that exact same emotions, safely guarded by the distance between my eyes and the computer screen. Greys Anatomy - for the pain and joy of loss and life. Desperate Housewives - for the raunchy quirky happy and the absolute indelible secrets that everybody knows of.

So don't tell me I'm a TV Addict. I am seeking help. Television is life support.

t.o.w. i'll cover you

2007-04-22T17:45:00.000+08:00

The VAPPY Version.

Anyway

I can spend my whole life buildin'

A great American dreamin'

One letter can come and blow it all away

Build it anyway

I can chase my freedom

That seems so out of reach

And I hate this crappy emerald obligation

Dream it anyway

Vappies are great, but sometimes life ain't good

When we pray it doesn't always turn out like we think it should

But we do it anyway

We do it anyway

This world's gone crazy

and it's hard to believe

That come August you'll be flying off away

Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all your heart

But leave for the right reasons

And leaving him may not be the brightest way

Love 'him anyway

Vappies are great, but sometimes life ain't good
When we pray it doesn't always turn out like we think it should
But we do it anyway
We do it anyway

We can pour our souls out singin'

A Rent we believe in

That tomorrow we'll read again and again

Sing it anyway

Yeah, sing it anyway

I sing

I dream

I Cover You..

t.o.w. the desperate depression

2007-03-31T21:40:00.000+08:00

I really am confused.

But before I begin to attempt to set things right, I need to settle the core things first and that is how grateful I am to my family and a most special friend for being totally behind me thoughout all these shit.

The things that they do for me and the way they attempt to comfort me and make me feel better admist all these shit makes me feel slightly embarrassed that I'm not strong enough that they have to fend for me emotionally. And there are so many times in the hellhole when I recieve an sms that I feel temporarily inundated with pure emotion and love and though that makes me weak in the legs for a bit, it gives me the strength to trudge on whatever remainder I have.

The night when I didnt manage to talk to mum at all really hurt bad because I had so much to tell her and not being able to do that really sucked. But reading her sms about what she had done and how I should feel at 2 in the morning really struck home at heart and I almost felt as if that for that moment, there was nothing in this world that her love couldnt solve. And at that moment, I guessed I understood what the powers behind Harry Potter's scar really symbolized.

Its a terrible feeling knowing that my inability is causing so much stress and distress to my loved ones but in a way, I guess I'm actually thankful for this for exposing this spiritual support group. And I must admit that if I were to remain stoic and heroic in front of them then the person truly inside must have already died by now. So at their expense, I guess I just had to indluge in that for abit.

Its also a wretched feeling not being able to fully involve myself in my beliefs and thoughts for the fear of experiencing a greater fall. I get all the shit about how the higher one climbs, the higher one falls but I also believe that I'll get no where if I don't bother climbing at all. The future and what it holds scares me to death. I have had so many dreams about the exact ideal life that now includes waking up for school / work in new york, lunching with friends, having dinner with the family and then kicking back in front of the tele and all that just seems so uncertain because I don't even know if I can safely get past this shit emotionally, physically and mentally.

I guess I've still grasping at straws here because I'm still looking for the avenues for help. I am that desperate for a life where I don't have to go through such turmoil.

Alas, the past week has been such an emotional rollercoaster that I don't even ever remember being so charged up all at once. I guess at least I feel human again.

I need to find the strength in me to work this out and that I will do tonight. I have to and I must because thats the only way I am going to get where I want. The life I will have eventually, eventually even if it means shit in the hellhole. The life with mum, dad, tiff and all the special friends that will always be an integral part. The life that I have slaved for for so many years now. That, I will achieve.

But first I need the sun to shine on my airconditioned ass again.

t.o.w. the black tape

2007-03-25T23:52:00.000+08:00

Insulating black tape.

Everything seems to be moving so fast, changing so fast and it just seems that nothing ever lasts. The past few days have been such a emotional rollercoaster for me. And it scares me how I'm afraid to embrace the happy times wholeheartedly because I know they will never last and how I refuse to even feel during the bad times as though it will all blow away.

I know seek refuge in my own happy place on the couch in the lives and emotions of others in other to feel whole again and sometimes it makes me wonder if I'm living a hollow, half full at its best.

Anyway. The only thing I loved this entire week is how much quality time I spent with mother. From seeing the specialist, to watching hongkong dramas the whole week and to taking cab rights up and down town - she has been the most wonderful rock / centre / whatever that I will ever find.

It makes me proud to know that I can draw strength from this during all the army shit. Still I need to stop whining about it and suck it up because at the end of the day, there's only 1 important question and thats - do I make YOU proud?

t.o.w. the demise of the penguin

2007-03-18T21:14:00.000+08:00

POPo!

So it is with much gusto and pride and perhaps a tint of regret that I say I completed my BMT! I must say towards the end, I grew really attached to the people and the island (of which this one comes under a regret). So even though my BMT experience was not nearly as complete as others in terms of military skills (again under regret for slacking too much), I do think I've learnt a lot about myself and where I fit in in this mayhemic place. But it definitely did not change me, it just reaffirmed what I had and perhaps enlightened me on what I tend to take for granted. All in all, a memorable experience with all time emotional highs (waving the platoon flag at the end of the 16k route march) and all time physical lows (field camp and scorpion stings). At the end of the day, I made a few fantastic friends and found a great encik who taught me quite a bit about life and all its crap, I must say.

I did become terribly vulgar in the process, but I do think I'll lose it back on the way.

And although it seems like I passed out, NS is JUST BEGINNING. I guess I'll just have to keep the faith and optimism that I had in the previous post and just keep on going. I know I'm not signing up for physical crap for sure but I guess theres a whole lot of crappish sergeants, warrant officers and officers that I need to be wary of and I guess that's where that comes in. I'm really ranting now, so shall stop.

So EXCUSE me.

t.o.w. i dug myself a hole and filled it up

2007-02-25T15:33:00.000+08:00

WHOA.

The past 2 weeks have been haunting. I kinda dug myself into a bit of mess but I'm glad thats over and done with now. I've been thinking and now I know that all this while I've just been an ass to the people around who support me and want me to do well and to myself. I think I let down the Kenneth that climbed the mountains in Korea in the bitter cold and I think I'd be ashamed to face the Kenneth that organised the YEP throughout all that personal shit. I need to finish what I set out to do and I need to finish it properly. For the people around me who love me and care for me and who wholeheartedly want to see me through this while being there for me to be proud of me. I need to do this for them and I need to this for myself. And above all, I need to do this for the lovely woman I call mum, for she has been my rock all these while and she deserves better.

I've been grappling a bit about what kind of life I have now. It's so different not waking up to go to school or being around academia and having so little freedom and personal time. And for a long while I guess I was just in a rut trying to figure out how to cope with that. But now I know there isnt time for that. This is the life I have now. And I guess it comes with good and bad but theres no changing it. And I guess accepting it is the only way to cope with it. Hiding behind a TAG no less isnt going to make things go back the way things were. So this is it. And that's all it is.

So I have a little more than 2 weeks left now. And I can tell you the way I feel about this entire experience is so different from the way I felt just 2 weeks ago. I want to finish what I started properly.

I want to fill up my hole till theres a little hump and step on the dirt and force my flagpole in to say I conquered this.

t.o.w. iheartny

2007-02-17T19:37:00.000+08:00

I'm wearing my Iheartny shirt now. Very happy albeit being sick and handicapped in terms of chinese new year goodie consumption. I am happy because for the first time I have a very long book out. Hence, despite the fact that mucus and phlegm are oozing out from every possible orifice I possess, I am still considerably in a happy mood.

The last week in NS was the most insipid yet tiring week. It's weird and the fighting fit people are never going to comprehend this but the more you sit around doing nothing in NS, the more tired you feel. This, many other status people can account for. Yep, all 30 of us. Anyway, I am still fervently waiting for my MP talk but as my BMT experience draws closer to its end, I am now weary that it may never come. RWAR.

I really hate the concept of NS. I know its compulsory and all that crap, but really, its a stupid idea. Haha.

Hence, in order to proclaim my strong discontent towards our nation's defence system, I am proudly wearing my IheartNY shirt, hopefully with triumphance in achieving my American Dream. One day, just one day, I might call myself a native new yorker and on that day I will mock NS. Mock, I say. MOCK, I SHOUT.

From all the discontent through deprevation of freedom, liberation and life, rises the heart that loves the big apple.

RWAR. Take that Singapura Singa.

Anyway, happy chinese new year to everyone. =)

t.o.w. the 6 days

2007-02-03T11:18:00.000+08:00

Six freaking dirty muddy sweaty tiring days.

I am not an army person.

I need airconditioned comfort, cold drinks and good food 24/7.

If anything, my compulsion to slack my army life off has just been compounded. I now need to find ways to make it work.

The army is a bunch of hypocritical crap. They say that as commanders they are there to take charge of the lives and welfare of their charges but I say thats crap because down the regimented lines and charts, that doesnt really happen much, does it.

Anyway. I WANT OUT.

RWAR.

But I do love my section mates. Most of them at least. All a very fun bunch. =) They make it so much more bearable. RENT songs help loads too. I can't imagined how many times I've sang La Vie Boheme in my head.

Looking forward to tennis tonight. Woohew!

t.o.w. the end of high school

2007-01-03T22:49:00.000+08:00

2007 hurh. I guess apart from the fact that I will soon be marooned on an island by the government, the other big change would probably be the end of school.

I enjoyed school. I never was the kid that waked up not wanting to go to school. Never was the kid that came home hating the life I had in school. Granted there were the down days (but who doesnt have them). School was great fun. The people made it. The friends, the teachers. I made some really great friends in there. Some I talk to after 6 years and realise that nothing between us has changed. Some I made in the middle of the 12 years and have probably never gone more than 1 week without some sort of communication with. Some I made recently and yet I know are sure to be there for me for the rest of my life. Some I lost, we don't speak anymore but I've never forgotten the many unforgettable times together. Some I regained, and it has taught me to cherish every single moment I have. Twelve years is a long time to spend considering I'm only 18. But I'm done with high school now. And I survived.

I know its tough. Believe you me because this comes from someone who felt stereotyped his entire 12 years. And stereotypes suck. It introduces us to the person that others deem us to be and defeats the trying soul that wants to break free. I have been stereotyped; labelled; ridiculed; typified. Whatever, but its high school and I guess as kids we have to move on. Because really, thats all we are. We're kids for crying out loud and somewhere along the lines the way our parents send us out into society has become the way parents send their young into war. Is it supposed to be that hard?

You know we laugh and we joke at others but there is a hierachy. The cool popular kids do it to the dumb but pretty white jocks and cheerleaders. They in turn do it to the gifted yet coloured black singers and athletes, who then laugh at the asian nerds and bespectacled geeks, who then finally take it out on the fat, ugly and unwise. Of course in Singapore its different. Colour aside since we are a racially harmonious country after all, everyone still takes part in it in some sort of absurd way because being able to do it to others automatically promotes one up the rung of social misfits and popularity.

There is something seriously wrong with this. How can we say things out loud and think that it not matters when the very words resonate and hurt the very people that may one day kill us?

I know I've been part of the system. I've laughed at and been laughed at. I've been lucky because I don't get to hear what people say about me. At least they have the courtesy to say it out of earshot. But whether done out of fun or with knife-sharp intention, it hurts. The awful thing is that the apparent cure for our own wounds is to inflict harm on others.

You know, for a period, all I could focus on was grades, college admissions, doing well for nationals and so on. But there is a silent epidemic spreading. It may still be random school shootings in the US but whats to stop the uncool, fat, bottom of the class geek from coming into school tomorrow and shooting your brains out.

Words we speak, harm. The stereotypes that we impose on others block those without the most stalwart of souls from breaking free. And yet perhaps that is the lesson to learn from high school -- To be the person you were meant to be, because anyone who thinks what you want to achieve is more than you can handle is less than the person you want to have around.

And that's why I watch TV.

t.o.w. the rockish broodish

2006-12-31T22:49:00.000+08:00

Rwar. I guess I'm glad TV works.

I feel human. Even though I feel like crap, at least I can safely say I'm no longer stuck in the robotic cog. It feels weird to be feeling like this again. I think the past 2 years I've shielded myself so much, I hardly existed as a real person. Perhaps now then.

The past few days have been really nice. I satiated my desire for tennis and mahjong pretty much. The indoor courts were amazing as was the overnight mahjong with the kb ppl. Yan shuang got it right when she said she felt like a primary school kid around us. I guess we never grow out our friends and even though I think I was expecting too much too soon from what we all had previously, I guess I should just be happy with what we managed to carry forward. I still remember everything so vividly from primary school. The backstage, the field, the chicken rice, the library. Good times, good times. So I guess serve me regret as long as the sweet memories are on the side.

Sometimes maybe I think anger that I direct at others really channels because I'm angry with myself. I need to grow a pair and just shoot my mouth off. Haha. I'm too cautious about hurting others although I'm guessing such an etho will probably be appreciated in the sunny island of palau tekan. Sorry, I couldnt resist the irony.

Anyway. I have 11 days of freedom before I trade in my pretty pink IC for a gruesome green. I need to do the following.

1. Finish OTH.
2. Finish the Waving Flag
3. RUN EVERYDAY.
4. Swim.
5. Tennis.
6. Finish my Columbia application.
7. Bowl.

Rwar. I had a lousy christmas so here wishing everyone a crappy new year.

t.o.w. do i make you proud

2006-12-26T21:30:00.000+08:00

I swear television has the best effect on me. It makes me want to be a better person. It makes me want to feel. With everything I've been through the last few years, I rarely bother to feel. I rarely bother to feel human. It protects me I guess. Hence, I love my tv.

Julie Cooper and Sandy Cohen make me proud. If I ever saw the look that they had on their face when I graduated, it would make all the embarrassment worth it.

And mcdreamy is the worst human ever. Not only is he not hot, I believe his ego has inflated with all the surrounding talk about his imaginary suave'ity. And Addison Shepherd is the most beautiful woman ever to grace the small screen (maybe after hilarie burton). I am in love with her.

The rain is bugging me. I have plans. Well, I had plans.

And I'm lazy to blog about the holiday. It was great. Really. I fully believed that it would one day be possible for me to live in the states. I guess the only thing that marred it was that one night at the chinese restaurant. That one night, I was truly embarrassed. That is not the man I want to become. That would require not having the narrowest of minds and hearts.

Back to the tube then.

t.o.w. brown suits and pearly whites

2006-12-05T22:30:00.000+08:00

Much to my surprise, Paul won best dressed. I am very surprised because I thought I should have won. I mean, I was wearing a Michael Kors design! Come on! Haha.

Anyway. Photos of people who really played a part in making hwachong life so fun. I know I always contemplate out loud about what could have been should I have gone over to rj instead. I probably might have been happier as a whole, felt it easier to fit in perhaps and might have made better, lasting bonds. But seriously, I'm not regretting the choice to come to hwachong. I guess the school spirit really counts for something here. The cheering for sports teams even though I don't know anyone in the team, the fact that you can make friends so easily and that everyone waves to say hi at the classbenches really sums up what hwachong is I guess. And I'm proud and glad to have been part of it.

Anyway. Honour roll. In no obvious order of how much I like / hate / despise / loathe you. I'm kidding, I love everyone. Really, utopic times isnt it.

The bowlers. FRIES.

Bowling Bonanza! CONFERENCES.

My reading room & nlb buddies. JUST FRIENDS & GRAMMAR LESSONS.

The Class. 05S74.

Wenyi. DRAWINGS, DIETS & DITZY.

Xuyan. 133!

Ronald. CONSTANT.

Yuqin. PUBICs

Fellow Muggers. LUNCH?

The American Dream Team. COLUMBIA, CORNELL, STANFORD, WISCONSIN.

Well theres that. 2 years in hwachong. Some of the best times and experiences.

I hope I lead with compassion and lived with passion. =)

t.o.w. exasperational rage

2006-12-03T22:09:00.000+08:00

I am damn bloody tired.

"Rage. I know how it eats you up. But rage goes away, and when it does, you're just left with the mess you've made."

I guess whoever was smart enough to claim this is right. But its tiring to have to deal with the crap that people heave at you without making an inch of a stand. It is also tiring having to curb that anger and the aplopletic words that I have to share.

Because every single one of you just don't seem to care nor seem to give a rats ass about something that you never had the guts to committ to. I get the many boats mentality but this is fucking fucked up.

I hate being the free boat for hire only to be canceled at the last minute because I am supposedly supposed to be understanding. Why the hell did I have to agree in the first place. I think as much as I am furious with you guys, I am with myself for permitting this to happen.

Perhaps, perhaps this was never meant to be.

They say people group together because of common goals and common beliefs. I say people group me in just to make numbers.

I guess the tone is disappointment.

t.o.w. the break

2006-12-01T20:47:00.000+08:00

I am relaxed.

Relaxed itchy though. I have this huge rash on my back. This makes me not want to visit katherine tmr and not want to finish my prom shopping. I just want to stay home and resist the urge to scratch. I've been damn strong so far. I haven't even considered cheating my way into scratching. You could put 100000 creepy crawlies on me and I'd be perfectly fine. Just not lizards.

Any how. I am so thankful for the break I got. Even though it gave me a terrible itch and stressed me out further now that I'm back and fretting about prom. I'm still glad I had the opportunity to just chill man. The scenery was great. The spa was great (apart from the disease-causing oils or the bacteria infested palms of the massuese). Food was great ; it felt good to be eating entres, mains and desserts all over again. The sun was great. The company was great. And the shows were great. Chill out chow time was just exactly the reprieve I needed. Except its not so much a reprieve since I don't have to study for 3 whole years!

Wahaha. Very elated. Itchy though. I think the more I type the word the worst it becomes. Prickly. Pokey. Rwar.

Columbia will be emailing me the decision on the 7th. If I don't get it, I will die but if I get it, I will die as well. What to do with my impromptu baby..

t.o.w. im coming back

2006-11-24T12:03:00.000+08:00

I have decided to make this blog a non-non-entity.

I shall start small.

The As arent even over yet and I am already hooked to the TV. Actually in all actuality, I never left the tele during the exams anyway. My mum has now got me hooked onto hongkong drama shows. They are very nice. Haha. Of course, the old-timers like oth, oc, prison break, greys, house, desperate, project runway, TARcon and survivor are still winging it.

Of course, tennis still has its lures. As does food.

I need to cut back though. I desperately need to get into shape soon. =( I'm a fat assy boy. My physique is embarrassingly disgusting.

And yesterday I was made to see light that I really rarely buy stuff. I am not boosting the economy's aggregate demand. The paradox of thrift will soon bite me in my fat ass.

What to do what to do.

I wonder if I will get 5 and above for my essay on monday if I wrote that sort of crap.

Blahh.

t.o.w. the hi-ae-tss.

2006-11-23T22:23:00.000+08:00

I have not updated in eons now.

My flobble box is also gone.

What am I to do.

Study econs s.

haha.

t.o.w. the forbidden oreo

2006-09-16T23:59:00.000+08:00

I must have been a bad boy.

My nanny, father and big brother have all scolded me.

After eating so many sweets and chocolates, they all decided to ban me from eating my black white oreos. Brown peanut butter flavoured ones too.

No more rewards.

I don't understand! I don't understand!

Shouldnt we be allowed to vote on this?

I've been to the dentist for 12 years straight!

I've learnt about not eating too much sweets!

I know where to stop!

I know gluttony from hunger!

Now they are talking about giving me half a oreo. What use is that?

I feel like I've lost my immunity to these problems now.

Every year, there is even a day where we learn about why we shouldnt eat so much sweets and the many terrible things that have happened when we did in the past.

Why then why did nanny, daddy and big brother take my oreo away?

Sometimes I just wish they would let me grow up.

What is this family really?

---

life is a big fat satire.

toodeloo babies.

t.o.w. the non-economic RENT

2006-09-15T22:09:00.000+08:00

Seasons Of Love -- Rent

Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Moments so dear
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure - Measure A Year?
In Daylights - In Sunsets
In Midnights - In Cups Of Coffee
In Inches - In Miles
In Laughter - In Strife

In - Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure
A Year In The Life?

How About Love?
How About Love?
How About Love?
Measure In Love

Seasons of Love.
Seasons of Love.

Joanna:

Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Journeys To Plan
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure The Life
Of A Woman Or A Man?

Collins:
In Truths That She Learned
Or In Times That He Cried
In Bridges He Burned
Or The Way That She Died

It's Time Now - To Sing Out
Though The Story Never Ends
Let's Celebrate
Remember A Year In The Life Of Friends

Remember the Love
Remember the Love
Remember the Love
Measure In Love

Joanna:
Oh you got to remember the love,
You know that love is a gift from up above
Share love, give love, spread love
Measure, measure your life in love.

Seasons Of Love
Measure Your Life In Love

La Vie Boheme -- Rent

Benny:

They make fun -Yet I am the one

Attempting to do some good

Or do you really want a neighborhood

Where people piss on your stoop every night?

Bohemia, Bohemia. Is a fallacy in your head

This is Calcutta. Bohemia is dead

Mark:

Dearly beloved, we gather here to say our goodbyes

Collins and Roger:

Dies Irae - Dies Illa Kyrie Eleison Yitgadal V' Yitkadash

Mark:

Here she lies No one knew her worth

The late great daughter of Mother Earth

On these nights when we celebrate the birth

In that little town of Bethlehem

We raise our glass- You bet your ass to- La Vie Boheme

La Vie Boheme La Vie Boheme La Vie Boheme La Vie Boheme

Mark:

To days of inspiration, Playing hookey, making something

Out of nothing, the need To express- To communicate,

To going against the grain, Going insane, Going mad

To loving tension, no pension

To more than one dimension, To starving for attention,

Hating convention, hating pretension,

Not to mention of course, Hating dear old mom and dad

To riding your bike Midday past the three piece suits-

To fruits- To no absolutes-

To Absolut- To choice-

To the Village Voice- To any passing fad

To being an us- For once- Instead of a them-

La Vie Boheme La Vie Boheme

Mr Grey:

Ahhemm

Maureen:

Hey Mister- She's my sister

Waiter:

So that's five miso soup, Four seaweed salad Three soy burger dinner,

Two tofu dog platter And one pasta with meatless balls

Rogers:

Eww

Collins:

It tastes the same

Mimi:

If you close your eyes

Waiter:

And thirteen orders of fries Is that it here?

Wine and beer!

Mimi & Angel:

To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries

To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese

To leather, to dildos, To curry Vindaloo

To Huevos Rancheros and Maya Angelou

Maureen & Collins:

Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion, Creation, Vacation

Mark:

Mucho masturbation

Maureen & Collins:

Compassion, to fashion, to passion When it's new

Collins:

To Sontag

Angel:

To Sondheim

To anything taboo

Collins & Roger:

Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage

Collins:

Lenny Bruce

Roger:

Langston Hughes

Maureen:

To the stage!

To Uta

To Buddha

Pablo Neruda, too

Mark & Mimi:

Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow

To blow off Auntie Em

La Vie Boheme

Mr Grey:

Sisters?

Maureen & Joanna:

We're close

Angel & Collins:

Brothers!

Bisexuals, trisexuals, Homo Sapiens,

Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman

German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein

Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa Carmina Burana

To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy

Vaclav Havel- The Sex Pistols, 8BC

To no shame- Never playing the fame game

Collins:

To marijuana

To sodomy It's between God and me

To S & M

La Vie Boheme

Collins:

In honor of the death of Bohemia an impromtu salon will commence immediately following dinner...Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the eleventh street lot, will sing Native American tribal chants backwards through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello- Which she has never never studied

Roger:

And Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an erection on high holy days

Mark:

Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawn chair-handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred. And Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song. That doesn't remind us of 'Musetta's Waltz'

Collins:

Angel Dumott Schunard will model the latest fall fashions from Paris while accompanying herself on the 10-gallon plastic pickle tub.

Angel:

And Collins will recount his exploits as an Anarchist- Including the tale of his successful reprogramming of the MIT virtual reality equipment to self-destruct as it broadcasts the words:

Actual Reality - Act Up - Fight AIDS!'

I am unimaginably impressed by RENT. Its so darn good that I'm willing to rewatch it over and over again. The great acting, immaculate singing, exhilarating plot and near tear jerkers all make for a great watch. The songs are also terrific. I'm in love with rent. Espescially Mimi.

The past weeks been a whole blur. Flu and case study dejavus apart, it was actually pretty ok. Much better than what I expected. Anyway, its still not done yet.

Make it work!

One day I'm going to watch Rent live on broadway.

t.o.w. TDWP

2006-09-01T23:03:00.000+08:00

Today was a good day.

Even though I only managed to cancel two things from my impeccable list of things to do, I still feel quite contented because I damn had a hell lot of fun today.

Studied at nat lib with my fellow bb'ers and then joined eric for lunch at carls' junior (beef chilli cheese fries!) and got hopelessly lost trying to drive from cathay to plaza sing. Had an even greater time getting back to ps from the lib amidst all the jokes about the ERP gantries. I'm terribly apologetic for spending 10 bucks off eric's cashcard just by driving around town and parking in various places though. I make a horrible navigator. Haha. But it was all in great good fun.

Anyway. Watched devil wears prada today and even though it was so much hyped about for its wit and sarcasm, I really related with the struggle between power/sucess and integrity/values undertone within and it totally related to my gloryasswipe days when I thought it was all about getting it done. I am so glad that I've learnt to place things in priority now even though the lesson might have caused me the most potent yet precious of friendships. Meryl Streep rocks though. She can boss me around anytime.

Anyway, after that we had a much delayed bb at ps starbucks and it was really nice what with the night breeze and the coffee (which I am now blaming for all my dizzy spells), great talk and terrific company. I don't know what I was doing looking for what I already had all along.

Today was a great great day to motivate. The coffee joints and the new york city scenes from TDWP are definitely going to get me to make it work a whole lot more tomorrow.

Make it work my babies.

t.o.w. banging the going out

2006-08-25T23:50:00.000+08:00

Today was the last official day of school for me.

12 years of basic schooling. Mostly flying silently under the radar and damn did I break out of that today.

Firstly, understand where I'm coming from. I'm a good quiet student. I don't yell out mid-lesson nor do I incite teachers to lecture me about adequate behavior during lessons. For most or rather all of my 12 years of schooling, I have always been the good boy.

That will not be remain in my legacy though. Today, in a sudden spur of emotion I yelled out at the end of the maths lecture, openly declaring my love for my dearest maths lecturer miss boo. She promptly invited me down to accept my kiss of death and shame from her 50 year old lips though I kindly declined. Of course, that was good enough to turn heads though. Still, I managed to get a free plate of chicken rice owing to my rare show of guts and stupidity. But I really was on a roll and barely 3 hours later, I was back at it again. This time, bored to wits ends during the bio lecture, I raised wenyi's metal pencilbox and clubbed (in legal levels of platonic affection) her on her head with it, thinking nothing of the repercussions. Just as I put the blunt though deadly weapon down on the table, I was immediately called out in front of the entire lecture group by the lecturer for being a childish woman-beater. I'm fine with the childish but I really wasnt beating. Heh.

So yeah. To anyone else I really don't think any of the above events bare any significance to their lives whatsover and I bet in a day or two barely anyone will remember or recall what I did or what I said but I was just thinking about it and damn I think I've a breakthrough here.

I've spent my 12 years in school ever-conscious of what people thought and how people might react and how it would affect me as an individual and it got extremely tiring. I would anticipate any reaction and come up with counter reactions and even counters to the reactions of my primary counters and counters to the reactions of... the chain would go on. Trust me when I say this but no matter how or what anyone would react or say, you can bet that I've not only thought of it before but also preempted any of the moves. I really was over-prepared. 10 years of escalating worrying and thinking and worrying, I believe. And then I got into hwachong and somehow I started to let go, and I refused to think too much because I knew all the pain and anxiety it brought but even then I was no where where I wanted to be. I wanted to be who I am for what I was and not have to lead a life of veneer facades and somehow, someway through the no doubt childish and immoral gestures and actions I pulled off today, I feel accomplished. Like I finally broke through the glass ceiling. And it was revolutionising and rejuvenating. After the dust from wenyi's head settled and my beetroot shaded face resumed its original tone after declaring my love for someone, I somehow felt reborn and energised and had that extra spring in my step and more than ready to do what I've always wanted to do, all by myself. Not that the person that I am is a loud bastardly whacker, but it feels good to know that what people think or feel will no longer impede the person that I'm still trying to be.

I'm a new person now.
I've broken free of my cacoon,
and this new hide is extra resilient.

I need to thank my clay marble. I've unwittingly moulded and shaped it into my very own marble. Jantu would be proud.

And no I'm not being self-deprecating by trying to mask the shame that I feel, I really have learnt to not give a damn about what you think. I don't think I every really will anymore, unless of course the person / place / event means too much for me to screw it up.

Fast-forward to saturday where I literally slept the whole day away. I managed to meet up with andre for lunch at manhattan though and now I'm starting to reconsider the whole scholarship bond thing. I desperately need clarity. Did anyone know that a freaking sophormore gets 8000 US dollars a month by being an INTERN at credit suisse. Yea. Fuck. Why didnt I migrate to new york 4 years ago when I had the chance. Fool fool fool fool fool.

t.o.w. my s paper essay

2006-08-19T21:51:00.000+08:00

I am a happy camper.

At least yesterday I was. Today I'm pretty much bummed about not having done much of organic chem and having fared really badly in trigo. Oh well. I did get my hair cut and my caffeine fix though, so I guess it all evens out. Balance hur.

Anyway! I was extremely pleased with myself last night because I got back 2 econs s paper essays that were graded distinction and I mean it when I say I really feel comforted and somewhat more confident about econs now. The days after block test 2 were extremely dark days, but now things are looking up again. Although one of them I felt I didnt deserve even a merit and the other I felt was highly subjective because of the teacher's bias, I'm still pleased. You should ask me for a treat these few days if you catch me still smiling my butt away. Just watch how my butt clenches every now and then. I think its hormonal or nervous controlled. Heh.

Anyway. The new phrase for the remaining 3.5 months is MAKE IT WORK. That's right. The prelims are nearing and each day the threat of not being able to fulfill my dream looms around. Even though I have my american flag, make it work postit notes, IheartNY cup and the star spangled banner playing out on my stereo, I really wonder whether I'll break. The mere thought terrifies me because I know I can only do so much. Sucks for me, but I really don't know what I can do to make it better. I guess I can only try and hope for the best.

University applications are really starting to bug me. I need to get references and sign up for sats and decide on this and that and seriously everything is starting to pile up. All the stops though, I really have gotta pull.

Everyday just before I sleep, I envision recieving a thick envelope from columbia the day I come back from the states and just as I start to rip open the seams, I pull back and stop myself from thinking anymore because everyone knows and I more than anyone else that the higher you think you'll climb, the higher you set yourself up for a terrible fall. As absurd and mad this may sound, it actually calms me and assures me that I'm working for the right cause.

Make it work like no other before, people.

Seriously, make it work.

t.o.w. verklempt

2006-08-11T22:29:00.000+08:00

Columbia seniors are damn nice.

This guy I met at Experiences 06 at the Columbia booth has been amazing help. He's a first year from Columbia and also a EDB scholar doing econs. Exactly what I want to do so its just perfect. He also couldnt be more helpful and kind throughout this very trying period when theres like a whole cascading barrage of crappish forms that I need to fill out and tests that I will need to take in order to get my butt on that flight on newark. But its definitely worth it.

Today we had silly talk on stress management and I'd just like to say that I will never ever give up. Of course its easy to say that when I havent recieved my grades yet and all I have are positive thoughts but then I really don't know what is gonna happen a few months down the road or if some random twist of fate will seriously pull me a one up but I guess its good enough for me to know that no matter what happens, I will always try to get to where I want. Cos at the end of the day, its the life.

Am particularly irritated with certain people who only seem to be able to bother themselves with stuff that I am doing so perfectly while they fumble up their own tasks. Focus people focus. All talk and act aint gonna get you no nowhere.

ARGH. So many decisions to make. Early or regular. 2 sats2 or 3 sats2. Early cycle scholarship or regular cycle. Who to write the references. What to write in the admission application. All that on top of the actualy studyin, well I really am going insane. Who ever thinks starting early is stupid should never be allowed to go in the first place. Rwar.

I'm verklempt.

t.o.w. the motivational entry

2006-07-30T21:34:00.000+08:00

Damn is this place rusty.

I need to get used to it though. Given how I am so motivated to study and my impeccable study plan, I don't see how I'm going to be able to divest any time from that to here anyway. But yeah. This entry will serve to point out how much I need to study whenever I'm feeling lazy and/or sleepy.

I hate rust btw. Just today when I was filing my stuff I realised my GP file was rusting a little so I took it all out and replaced the entire file. Oh, and the tide really is changing. I think my fear of lizards is subsiding somewhat. Granted I still jump up whenever they run off but I have become accustomed to seeing this pregnant dark brown lizard hanging out on my phone adaptor. I figured it needs the warmth for its fetuses so I shant prod it too much, not that I would dare to do it anyway even though the thought of having many tiny baby lizards creeping around my study table creeps me out a tad bit. Oh well.

Anyway! Yes. Study hard people. I know I need to. Now that I fully know what I want and what I need to do to get there, I really need to work. And I must say, its going quite alright these couple of days. On Monday after DH, I wanted to go to bed but then I saw the star spangled banner that I have fluttering on my calendar to remind me how important time is and then I decided to be good and study more. If I keep this up, I am going to rock this world. =D

Of course I need to know I'm working for the right reason. Working for the life I have always wanted in the city and country that I have always wanted to be a part of. Working for the future that will present immense opportunities for growth in all tangible/intangible aspects. Working for the responsibility of living on my own that comes along with the elusive dangling freedom and liberation carrot. Working for the many plenty bonds that I will form during the course of the hopefully never-ending experience. And of course, working to realise my american dream.

Its nice when you phrase it like that. But damn is it going to be hard. 4 months of sellout hardwork and I really don't know if I have what it takes to keep going all the way. I'm no marathoner. Still, I try and no matter what happens if one day I have to ever look back at the entire process and go "at least I tried my best", then I want this entry to serve as a reminder that I indeed gave it my all and that no "coulda been" will ever haunt me for the rest of my life.

It pains me to say that because it pumps reality into the dream. And the fact is that if I don't do well enough to get accepted or get a scholarship then the dream just might stay a deam. The world sucks because now I know that no matter how hard you try and how much you put in, you really need to luck out at times. But of course, there is no point in talking about luck and whether its here or not if I don't have the results to bid for luck at all.

Fine then! Work your butt off, Kenneth!

Just keep trucking, just keep trucking!

t.o.w. i'm ashamed

2006-07-16T22:23:00.000+08:00

I am ashamed of myself.

Today I asked my parents about maybe sending me to London instead cos its just 3 years and I guess will cost less. Actually maybe not seeing as how everying friggin thing in London is so expensive. Did you know that a ticket to the mens final at wimbledon costs about 3000 pounds, which is like 10000 sing. Oh well.

And just now, I was considering changing my password from "newyorknewyork" to something else. Granted I still changed it in the end, I guess it was more of a ashamed-sorry gesture.

I changed the password but then again if you are reading this, you probably found your way in again. I appreciate how some of you bother to hack in. I am proud of you. In future, I am going to put long sentences like"the fox jumped over the sleeping dog and woke it up and got eaten and died and came out as poo which went into the soil as fertiliser" as my password just so I get the kick out of you typing them everytime the page loads. Hee. OH. BIG small lEtTeRs!

I swear my spelling is killing me. I spelt staff room as stuff roam and later as letter. At least I can pride myself on misspelling english words with the very least, english words.

Anyhow. I am a disgrace to my fellow american-dreamers.

t.o.w. maybe its time

2006-07-15T22:38:00.000+08:00

Time to focus on me and stop running away.

These are dark times and unlike before, I'm actually not sure that I'm going to get out of this one. I don't know what I'm doing really and I frankly can't believe what I have (not) done. Someone needs to snap me out of this mood and its going to take a lot more than the normal "i'm here for you" and "anything you need". Its so funny how the people that heap all their problems on to you are no where to be found when they're ok.

Makes you wonder a bit about the role you play in this world.

At this moment, there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world.
Some are running scared. Some are coming home.
Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth.
Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil.
6 billion people in the world, 6 billion souls. And sometimes, all you need is one.

Anyway. In case you are still clueless and hopelessly dumb, I'm not feeling particularly erm , chair'y or bum-on-seat metaphorically - grounded. That's not what this is about.

t.o.w. the caffeine rush

2006-07-14T23:19:00.000+08:00

OMG.

Instead of being an aspiring alcoholic, I am now a full fledged caffeineoholic.

I had a cup of american expresso today and for a bit I was like the energiser bunny minus the cuteness and the somewhat creepyness and now just barely 2 hours later I'm ready to sleep.

Either caffeine has absolutely no effect on me or I need a higher dosage.

Ahh. Spoken like a true junkie.

I love my coffee.

Coke can kick my ass.

Yea. I'm a big boy now.

t.o.w. the recaps

2006-07-13T21:57:00.000+08:00

I think this blog is getting too broodish and insipid for the average reader.

I shall be nice and stray away from emo-bemo stuff and stick to the blogging routine.

I recently took my bio blocks make up. Right up to the start of the test, I was fully certain that I would cheat my way through the test. Alas, to great avail the mother of a teacher (whom I think is related to Zhiyong so I shall reserve the expletives) actually made me take the test right in the staff room at some empty table under the watchful eye of balding Mr. Kairul. Amazed, I was not. However, the adage that talks about how the most dangerous places are actually the safest places is quite true and now I am an egregious purveyor of cheating in staff rooms.

On another note, I sense things changing around class. People seem to be different and everyone just seems a whole lot happier. Works for me. Of course, even if I have to smile and laugh along with everyone even when I feel like ripping their guts out and splashing them in the central plaza, its still pretty calming. I guess just the act of smiling has that effect on you, fake or not. Anyway, for the most part I'm a happy broody dopey. So erm, I'm not hypocritical all the time, just in case you dweebs are wondering.

Maybe you should wonder. Then you'll learn to think more about others instead of always putting your big fat arse in front. Change is good, think about me for a while every now and then. I'll like you more and I'm sure you for me too and maybe then the world will be a better place. Yum.

In other horrible news. I bungled up econs real bad and am now seriously doubting my capabilities. But seriously, I think I've just been a real big ass in not taking it seriously and simply taking it for granted. I shall love econs even more than before now.

Don't know how to do that with Evelyn Ong as the S Paper tutor though.

Damn.

Anyway. I just want to sound a warning out to all you mambo-jumbo-bimbo freaks out there who are here without me actually providing you the password. YOU ARE A FREAK.

I love all of you though.

You make me feel like I'm worth the hacking effort. =D

t.o.w. all the running

2006-07-08T21:42:00.000+08:00

As the dark consumes me I can't help but feel honestly lonely.

Not that I'm so self-involved that I need to be talking about me 24/7 but some people that I talk to seem to care less about whats going on with me. And then the people whom I talk to often I realise I never do tell them whats going on anyway so I guess I don't blame them for not bothering. Its painfully sad when you look up and down your IM list and you realise that almost everyone on that list are strangers.

Anyway, I've been plagued with problems this couple of days but it seems all I'm capable of is running away, which is ironic given how I absolutely abhor physical running. But sometimes I guess we just need space.

I think I'm all about the chase. Which is also ironic given how I've actually unknowingly seen this blog through 180++ entries and 2 years. Still I think I dwell too much on what might be instead of focusing on ensuring that what I thought would be and is actually remains. I don't know if its natural for people to feel like that or maybe it just means that thats not what they really want. If thats the case then I'm at lost because then it probably means I've been living my entire life as a scam thinking that I know what I want when I actually don't. Thats real scary.

I think I've been a great letdown and I'm sorry to all whom I've managed to raise doubts about stuff that we all assumed to be given certains.

I guess I've been provoked into thinking deeper about what it is that I actually want and who exactly is the person that I am or am trying to be. This is life changing right here right now but I guess I've just been avoiding the issue because really I don't know what the result is and frankly I'm terrified of what the future holds. Sometimes I think the risk of losing all that I've built is simply not worth knowing that I could enjoy the rest of my (albeit longer) life being free. I say what I say as if I've come to a decision, but seriously and really, I've not and I hope this all just blows over. I want to be that person but what if I can't?

Life sucks man. Haha. But I guess without all these drama in our lives, it would be insanely boring and I bet you 'll find something to complain about. At least I'm preoccupied though.

Maybe I should pick up drinking and be like Kirsten and become an alcoholic. It really is the passport to delayed sorrow and right now I could use that. Most unfortunately, I bet no one will come for my intervention because I mean it when I say this but no one in this world would know about my drinking problem (if any of course, I'm not that stupid) because I'm a master when it comes to facading my life in thick veneer.

Sandy says that we can bend it all we want but its not going to break.

I pray that I'm not broken.

t.o.w. the perfect day

2006-07-07T21:46:00.000+08:00

In the perfect day...

I would wake up at 10am.

I would enjoy a my breakfast meekiatah.

My bed would make itself.

I would play 2 rounds of mahjong and win.

I would enjoy a nice lunch.

I would then enjoy a nice siesta.

I would wake up in the early evening and enjoy tennis.

Of course, all my shots will hit the line and I will scream my venus williams shriek everytime.

I would then come home to the beckoning arms of television and squall the night away imagining the life that I might have.

Night will consume me and I will wake up the next day feeling accomplished and contented.

I think I could achieve such a life when I'm past 60. I feel confident about that though I wonder what kind of show I'll be watching. Maybe Oprah.

At least today I got to do most of the things I love.

Friends are important and all but I guess in the end, no friend is family. (I love the extended family a lot but I'm talking real blood here though.)

t.o.w. the gay OC addiction

2006-07-01T21:19:00.000+08:00

I love OC. I love OC. I love OC.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say its as good as one tree hill, albeit in different ways.

I love the family chemistry of the Cohens and Ryan. Sandy and Kirsten are amazing parents and to have a brother like Ryan is to be in the prescence of true luck.

In my honest opinion, Ryan and Seth would make the nicest gay couple in the world. Zack could be the mistress, except I don't know the gay, male version of "mistress", so I'm just going to leave it at that.

You know, I totally immerse myself in their lifes so much so that in between scene transitions when the screen goes blank, I see my sad black haired reflection of myself in the screen and then wallow in self pity that I am not living in the US. BUT SOON I WILL BE. Muahhaa.

The scene where Seth runs after Ryan only to see him waiting at the door is hinting at possible MAJOR twists in the storyline. =)

I like.

t.o.w. the star spangled banner

2006-06-29T16:55:00.000+08:00

US National Flag : The Star Spangled Banner - Mary Young Pickersgill

US National Anthem : Star Spangled Banner - Francis Scott key

O say, can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hail'd at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro' the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watch'd, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof thro' the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore dimly seen thro' the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected, now shines on the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner: O, long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion,
A home and a country should leave us no more?
Their blood has wash'd out their foul footsteps' pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

O thus be it ever when free-men shall stand
Between their lov'd home and the war's desolation;
Blest with vict'ry and peace, may the heav'n-rescued land
Praise the Pow'r that hath made and preserv'd us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: “In God is our trust!”
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

-----

The American Dream...

Ahh. I still question what I did. And now wonder if I'm fit to live the American dream after all.

You are almost always lesser than the person you think you are.

Anyway. In lieu of the (happy) conclusion of the recent block tests and the arrival of this most befitting 1 week holiday, I have embarked on a journey to learn more about the American national anthem and flag! Did you know that there are 2 more verses to the star spangled banner but that they are hardly sang at all because of possible innuendos/euphemisms about British culture. And did you know that the original ameriacn flag only had 13 stars?

Of course you don't and neither are you interested. This is why I'm the only freak waving my star spangled banner to the US soccer team.

Other things I need to do during this short reprive,

1. Watch OC
2. Buy OC
3. Buy clothes
4. Bowl
5. Eat good / junk food

Please don't wake me up from my week long reverie.

t.o.w. the wake up letter

2006-06-18T22:31:00.000+08:00

Dear Kenneth,

Please stop it.

At the rate you are going, you are headed for destruction. Actually at the rate you are going, you might just finish the J1 BT1 topics in time to get good grades.

Please stop coming online and doing silly things like playing hexic and minesweeper.
Please stop taking 2 hour breaks after 15 minute studying sessions.
Please stop telling yourself everything will turn out ok like they used to.
PLEASE STOP CHEATING YOURSELF.

Time to hit the books for 11 days.

And then you can enjoy 7 free days and the right to brag about your fantastic results.

WE ARE NOT GOING TO SPEND THE 7 DAYS MULLING OVER WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN.

SO STEP UP AND DO IT YOU LAZY ASSHOLE.

I'll get you the nice topman shirt if you don't let up this 7 days.

And of course the elusive american dream.

Good Boy.

Regards,
Your better alter ego.

t.o.w. all the emo

2006-06-16T20:40:00.000+08:00

I was blog sprawling a while ago and damn arent people in the emo brood mood around here.

Must be the very wet gloomy grey weather. Anyway, its spurred me to do a little writing myself ; just to stimulate the brain in other ways not studying and well to practice writing.

Because I want to do well for GP. Taking that a side, I have to do well for GP and all the other subjects. Not neccessarily because I want to but because I need to in order to get what I want.

Sometimes I think I'm shallow because even though I think the world about the life that I want, I bet its a brow-raiser if people are to hear of it. It really is stupid. Inambitious. But yet, in order to get there, I'm gonna have to work my ass off.

Since the foreboding of this entry seems like a 10-things-bad-about-me kinda issue, I guess I'd just go along. I hate that I'm so private. That I don't live it up and show the world who I really am. Bree's right baby, pretences rule the world. But damn are they tiring. I don't know if thats why I like my alone time so much because thats really truly the only time when I think I'm true to who I am. The whole damn bloody world just judges too much and even though I guess the onus is on us to rise above that and accept us for ourselves, I'm just not capable. Oh how I admire Andre from Runway 2. He'd actually wear a green singlet and yellow pt shorts and walk down Broadway and Times Square in New York. Heck it, I don't care if you score 20 million As or if you run a 30 second mile, you are nothing unless you accept yourself for the real person you are. And thats why for now and the very near future, I will be nothing, because I cannot stand the way the world judges. Ok maybe the way Singapore judges. I judge. I judge more than anyone I know. Maybe thats why I'm tentative. Anyway. I just read Ronald's entry about friends and stuff like that and I'm real sorry to all my close friends, but the real truth is I haven't been 100% real with you at all. Well at least if you think I'm ditzy and mad, you're a step closer. But I think I ask that from people, but I know its impossible. I'm just fucking afraid of what is going to happen if I leave this nice protected cove.

And talking about Ronald's entry. Damn is he right. I think sometimes we arent content and once we acquire something, we then look forward and ask for more. So how are relationships and partners going to figure this out if what they have isnt real? And then again, how the heck do you know whats real. You can tell yourself that its something you've never experienced before or something new and absolutely different but then you never really know what real is and maybe if real is good enough.

This is depressing.

So is my studying. But at least the kenneth-hotbod plan is back on track.

I think I think I think too highly of myself. In many ways, I haven't been the person that I've set out to be. Sure, I think I could do whatever needs to be done and impress, but the root of the matter is that I'm ultimately doing it with wrong reason.

Just like what I'm doing with my life this year.

And I don't know if it could be considered a sacrifice at all but hey, at least I know what I want.

A lot of things in my life I knew I wanted but for a while I was going about getting them the wrong way. Even though I was sure I was right, I still turned out wrong. So now I'm lost.

Peyton is right. 6,470,818,671 souls in this world and only 1 matters.

Yourself. If you don't get who you are and if you don't accept who you are. Then the other 6,470,818,670 people are just but mocking.

Because they think they know and they think that they have it and so they mock and judge and criticise. How you dress, how you think, how you walk, how you smile, how you talk, how you live your OWN life. But they actually don't. No one is truly sure about who they are.

You just see yourself the way you want to be seen.

Maybe thats just best.

----

Damn! The last portion of this entry is totally OTH-fitting. I can imagine peyton doing the voice over.

I Like.

t.o.w. the clay court classic

2006-06-12T21:47:00.000+08:00

Dang, I only caught like the last 2 points of the match.

Good enough to see Nadal lift his 2nd grand slam and definitely more than enough to see Losey Poosey Federer pucker up at his loss.

Hai. I always hate the way top players dominate the game. They make it boring.

I'm quite sure I'll start to like Federer soon. *smirks

t.o.w. striking out

2006-06-09T20:39:00.000+08:00

Thanks for the blues-lifting mondays, midweek emotional fodder wednesdays, let your hair down fridays and those lovely casual saturdays.

Damn it, 1.5 years is way too short.

Somehow I didnt think I would join a cca without any friends prior but I came into this banging head against wall, subconciously overcoming certain personal barriers I put up and now I leave it with great aquaintances and 14 amazing solid friends.

Thanks guys for making this 1.5 years so memorable and enjoyable. It was a definitely a great run. All the team renzha days, up to cheering out hearts out for the seniors during nationals 05 and then surviving the days of training without funds or a proper coach, photohunting, still training together in the holidays, our 1356 routine in term 2, training with the juniors, this time around bowling our hearts out in nationals 06 and all that coupled with the crab luncheons, ddr frenzies, summer blockbusters that we've caught together, chalets, mahjong - yes of course mahjong and laughing. If I'm to take anything away from all that, it had to be laughing. I think its more than safe to say that we transcend team spirit. Its hard to put in words and describe it to people, especially those who arent in it because I guess it just reaches out to people in different ways. And I'm glad we're more than a team because I'm proud of us. I'm not trying to make a statement of how tight we are by saying that we're the closest any team can get cos' thats just nonsense. You cant possibly know what others are going through when you don't go through the exact same thing and even then, people feel differently about the same things. But I know one thing is certain, I'm proud and glad to be a part of this family.

I guess the entire period-drawing would be a lot more enjoyable if I had bowled a lot better during nationals. Of course I think I deluded myself into thinking I was masters quality with the sudden hikes I had in my performance (especially with that 190 avg day). But I guess I improved from age group and I think I can most definitely say that the process was a whole lot fun too. From start to end, I thoroughly enjoyed the spirit of competition and even before that, training was fun all the way. Haha, and just for shameless bragging rights, at least I can say within hwachong, I won all 3 events - singles, doubles, quartet and also hwachong high game - 209! Haha. I wished I could have done better, bowled maybe a 10 pin higher average and maybe broke my pb for a bit but I guess after all that is said and done, given what I had and the horrible bout of food poisoning during nats, I guess I'm at peace with how I bowled and never will I look back at it and think about what could've been if this or that might have happened.

But anyway! Shoutouts for everyone whom have made this journey unforgettable. In no order of merit of course.

Shaojie! Captain to the team! Thanks for trying your best to lead us out of the very dark times we've had in our term. Also, thanks for being a great singles and doubles partner and for TINGing me everytime I was down. Hope I did the same! Anyway, thanks for being the person to always motivate me to improve and for teaching me my way around the lanes. Half the bowler that I am is all you! Thanks!

Janice! Lonely buddy! Haha. Thanks for being lonely together through these 1.5 years. You've been a great friend all this while and no matters what happens after this, we were friends, great friends at that and even if faith decreed it to be indeed one moment in time, I'd still be content knowing that we had some great times together. Hopefully we'll be lunching at Four Seasons, New York some time soon too!

Zhiyong! Ah yong! Haha. Hands down one of the reasons why I always enjoy my training sessions. Frankenstien always entertains and amuses me with his reactions on the lanes and his diva head twirl at the mahjong table and all the other funny stuff he says. Also thanks for the countless cab rides and for ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS smiling. Haha. We will strike, we will spare, we will win, KICKSOMEASS. =D

Kegan! Banana! Kee! K2! Haha. Always entertaining and amusing ourselves with the juuccey song whenever we can. Thanks for always being the friendly familiar bowler face at the class bench. And once again, I DONT DISCREDIT YOUR COMMITTMENT, I ASK WITH GREAT CONCERN. =D Wee!

Yanchen! Thanks for being another great familiar face around the left wing. It seriously calms me down knowing we are all trying to get past to the next training date. Its been a whole lot of fun bowling with you because you are always positive. And even when you arent doing well, you find a way to get past that and motivate others. Great respect for that. Also! Thanks for being part of the well-dressed bowlers list. We are lacking in numbers.

Youxin! If anyone was a familiar face, you'd be it. Thanks for all the lifts home and the discount OCC games. Haha. Also thanks for just being a great person to hang out with and for always keeping the energy up with your laughter. Keep the bowling tradition strong in 74! Go 74!

Joy! Thomson! Haha. Please don't move away to new ton one. I need more rides! Haha, thanks for all the entertaining conversations you have with your mum on the rides home especially the one with the petrol scarcity problem. Seriously, that trip had so much laughter in it I briefly considered if I would ever find anything funny again.

Well of course there is! We are family! I got my brothers and sisters with me! Yingcheng! I will always always remember the classic snapple line and just about everything else that you've said thats made me laugh over and over again just thinking about it alone. Thanks for being immensely supportive during nationals and I hope you have a great bowling term too! However, most of the fun that we've had was off the lanes and once again, thanks for being the entertainment muse for everyone. You are indispensible in my opinion. Rock on xiao di! Also, thanks for populating the well-dressed list! We are going to get the belts. =D

Wilson! Haha. Thanks for always smiling and being the bundle of joy that you always are. You and yingcheng seriously make a great pair. You seem to magically feed off each other. Match made in heaven. Please do cherish him. Haha. Now that you are captain, please step up and bring hwachong bowling to greater heights! Keep bowling well and bring the team together! Thanks for all the great times we've had in and out of bowling. =)

Sheena! Vappy! Lackey! Haha. Where do I begin. Thanks for being my bowling rock this 1.5 years. Through the renzha days, OBK - the experience of a lifetime, 1256 training routines, crystal jade meals, reading room sessions and a whole a lot of cabs later, I think we've made friends for life. And hopefully what we have transcends bowling and translates into fulfilling our american dream! Star spangled banner! I guess I really need to thank you for always being there whenever I was down and for always amusing me with your silly antics. I don't know whats going to happen now with the bowling closure but I definitely will see you in new york roommate. We're going to "friends" it up on our own!

More thanks to everyone! Good or bad, I guess its part of the experience you've given me. So thanks (again) to andrew, timmo, julian, nelson, yusin, shouheng, yongjun, hongming, weishan, nicole, melissa, shaojie, zhiyong, janice, sheena, yanchen, nicole, joy, yanchen, brian, yiling, youxin, aikling, michelle, valerie, kityeng, yuting, yuherng, yaoguang, wilson, yingcheng, zhaolong, sean, jonathan, weimin, ruizhou, guozhen, gary, jezrel, zhirui, cheehao, paul, yeow, miss tay, davids, pashmina and of course kalai's mum =)

Even though it was up and down, it was mostly up.
Even though there was laughter and anger, it was mostly laughter.
Even though there was fun and sorrow, it was mostly fun.
Even though there were times of doubt, you were always a constant.
And so even though its bye for now, it can never be the end,
No period

Thanks for a great run hwachong bowling!

Damn, arent we closed and huddled!

t.o.w. gaming closure

2006-06-06T22:21:00.000+08:00

Today is a blog worthy day.

one - o - freaking - seven baby.
hell yeah!

Close to 15 hours, strained eyes, lost time and permanently crooked fingers.

Now baby, this is closure.

t.o.w. the extended family

2006-05-27T22:56:00.000+08:00

I won 11 bucks from mahjong yesterday!

10 cent, 20 cent, 30 cent! Not even compound!

Mahjong was hilariously fun. I played with my extended family members; my sister, my brother and his husband. Very fun indeed.

Must play more this hols.

Sheena, Yingcheng and Wilson make the post-bowling days easier. Sheena laughs at everything I laugh at, Yingcheng is what we laugh at and Wilson just feeds Yingcheng with material. I just laugh like a hyena over and over again.

I think I'm still oblivious to the fact that my non-studying and bowling days are over.

Today I unclipped my bowling keychain from the bowling bag to my pencil case. I'm hoping its symbolic.

Mahjong anyone?

t.o.w. I can hang with the big boys

2006-05-23T19:59:00.000+08:00

I can definitely hang with the big boys.

Just wait and see.

Food poisoning and lethargy aside, luck and desperation on my side and yes, I definitely can hang with the big boys.

This past week has been a major flurry, I think I attended school for like 2 out of 6 days. Everything has just been about bowling and its weird because I now find non-bowling days empty and insipid. The days really rock on by when its spent laughing with Zhiyong about his weird movements, with Sheena and all the ranting about how everything from the lanes to the coach to the balls and to the competitors are wrong, and with the juniors about the stupidest stuff in the world.

I'm glad to say hwachong bowling is one damn bonded family. I'm not one to lie and boast like how others don't mean it cos we definitely have floaters who arent the least bit committed to the sport and I'm not just saying it for saving grace because of how badly we've been bowling. I'm saying it cos I mean it to the extent that I'm not even looking to nationals on thursday but rather the gathering we have after that.

And about nationals. I guess its come what may now.

We all started brimming with so much expectations and hope and all aimed and targetted that elusive 4th. Sad to say, 4th and any other top 8 positions have probably really eluded us now. Not that I'm gonna give up here cos thats now how we operate. Damn, even if we knew 10 perfect games couldnt save us from last place, we would still be bowling to the best of our capabilities. (Not that we are last, we arent that bad). But heck it man. Hopefully by thursday I'll be fine and back on my jumping feet from this son of a stomachache and hang with the big boys man! I don't dare say I'm as consistently good as them cos I'm not, but when I'm on form and turn into my little striking machine, I'm as good as just about any SA/TJ/RJ/AC bowler on form out there.

All I need is that liitle oomph luck.

Please please pleasseee be a dear and take 5 secs to wish me luck if you read this. I LURRVE YOU.

We will strike!
We will spare!
We will win!
Kick some ass!

Tomorrow we have a mini outing so I'm happy.

t.o.w. the pride swelling

2006-05-15T23:32:00.001+08:00

OHMMMMMM.

Everybody say OHM. Everybody lets OHM.. Everybody lets Ogre-bash SA, lets Harras AC and lets Mutilate Squad C!

I am all for fair play. Wee!

Hmm. Tomorrow is the first day of bowling nationals and even though I've tried my darndest to try to not stress out myself too much before tomorrows big day by watching survivor and desperate and all other kinds of crap, I am still OHMming (meditating) every minute and second. At least I feel quite at peace now. But I sure as hell know that when tomorrow comes and the signal goes for me to lead hwachong in the first throw, I will be shaking like a tutti-frutti on jello-mello legs.

Its fun though.

I hope everyone bowls well tomorrow. Honestly, I get jealous and frustrated with myself during training whenever others bowl better than me. But I know that won't happen tomorrow because its a team effort and the better they play, the better for me, for the team, for the squad and for the school. Tomorrow is singles so our scores won't be covering that much but everything still adds up to that elusive 4th place position that we are fighting for. The people in school shun us for knowing that we are fighting for 4th and the bowlers in other JCs don't even see us as a threat because we are a relatively inexperienced team. But I say to hell with them. We know what we want and its not a lofty ambition. If we all bowl to the best of our abilities then 4th is definitely not impossible. And for those who think 4th is nothing to brag about then I quote Sheena when I say this but 4th medals arent made of gold, silver or bronze, they are made of tenacity and fighting spirit that is so evident in hwachong.

We arent a main contender for the title, but we can black horse our way through cos even though we don't bowl as well, no one measures up to us in any magnitude, the amount of togetherness and grit we share as a team. We're as different as strike and spare. They are the lucky strikes and we are the grounded, consistent spares.

Swell with pride bowlers, I say swell with pride.

We're gonna make it!

t.o.w. i'm wronged

2006-05-13T22:15:00.000+08:00

How dare you.

After everything thats been going this couple of days. YOU ARE INDEED THE ONE TO TALK. To just sit there and bark words of insanity and insobriety is not only stupid but really reflects moral depth and the small dimension that you live in.

The world does not revolve around me but it sure as hell does not revolve around you or any one else for that matter either.

Maybe next time you talk to me, you might want to think about that.

Crap, your stupidity marred the nice day where I got my 2nd 5-bagger and saw dozens of kids smile like summer.

So much for tomorrow.

t.o.w. the black horse identity

2006-05-10T19:52:00.000+08:00

I need to focus and concentrate and slow down and throw straight and kek finger.

I realise that if I can do that, I am actually quite a good bowler. Haha.

After my first slump and that minor comeback, I find myself slumping again. Very bad indeed. It got so bad that I had to go to the medic lane for emergency treatment. He didnt really teach me much technically, but he thought me a lot on mental concentration. DAVID of course. Not Paul.

Historic I tell you, because not only did I hit 212 after that and then didnt fall too far off average to a 169, I also had SEVENTEEN consecutive closed frames. That was very nice and very good. I am proud of my two balls. *smirks

So it really all comes down to concentrating my butt off I guess. If I can do that, then maybe his prophecy will and hopefully hold water.

Please note how desperate I am in trying to bowl well. You should feel for me and bring everyone you know down to watch nationals. I will love you very very much. Not that way, you hopeful freaks. =D

Oh well. Still, the thing is, you can train all day hard and long, but at the end of the day, it all comes to nothing if you don't make the winning shot. Tssk. =(=)

Bowling is my life for the next few weeks. Everything else can wait.

t.o.w. I'm back!

2006-05-06T22:08:00.000+08:00

I think I am.

At least I hope I am.

In the long run, I pray.

I AM FINALLY BOWLING BETTER. Ever since my ground-breaking breakthrough an entire month ago, I'm finally back to hitting an average that is not 130++. The past few weeks were dark times because I never knew if I would recover from that slump. So I hope and I pray that this new found upward momentum is here to stay up till 26 May. Please come support bowling nationals. 16 19 23 25 May. And maybe 26 May if all the SA bowlers forgot to hand in their registration form, if all the RJ bowlers got sued for beating HC in just about everything and of course if AC got accused of wayanging too much with their balls in midair when bowling. Yea. Haha. Anyway. The past few weeks were really bad. I QUESTIONED MY EXISTENCE AND THE PURPOSE OF MY LIFE and those are things that I never do. So I'm glad that is just behind me now.

I hope the opposition wins a few seats in parliament. I don't dare say too much because I heard the Minister in charge of the people who monitor the internet is going to look into how blogs and podcasts have affected the GE. I think thats just crap. Don't mind me saying, but I really don't think we need to be grandfathered. Anymore of that and we just might regress. I hear the PAP campaigning vehicle coming around to thank the people for their of-course guranteed win at AMK so I shall shut up now.

You know I still have like 20 million things to complain and rant about how stressed I am because of nationals and school work and stuff but I think it'd be insignificant really because I cant't even get them organised in my head let alone write about it. I just sincerely hope I'm back.

I'm still lost in my thinking though. I recently wrote two crappish essays.

But I bought OTH Season 2 dvds today. It might just make me fall back into broody moody poody season again. =(

I love that the entire team is with me as we prepare for nationals. Vappy, Shaojie my partner, Janice, Banana, Zhiyong, Joy and the other J2s as well as the J1s like Aikling, Youxin, Wilson and Yingcheng (All of whom I find extremely amusing). Its nice to know that you can go through crap alone in school and in class and then all that just goes away when all of us come together with laughter and cheers.

I hate to have to admit this but I've been living the past few weeks and probably will live the next few, training by training.

It's a bittersweet emotion. Oh well.

I hope I bowl well.

Yea. I think this entry is 100% true. Its nice.

t.o.w. a song for you

2006-04-29T00:06:00.000+08:00

Specially for you. =D

I've been so many places in my life and time
I've sung a lot of songs and I've made some bad climbs
I've acted out my life in stages with ten thousand people watching
Oh, but we're alone now and I'm singing this song for you

I know your image of me is what I hope to be, I've treated you unkindly
Oh, but Darling can't you see that, there's no one more important to me
Baby, baby, can't you see through me, 'cause we're alone now
And I'm singing this song to you, you taught me precious secrets
Of a true love withholding nothing, you came out in front
When I was hiding, yeah, yeah, but now its so much better
If my words don't quite come together, please listen to the melody'
Cause my love is in there somewhere hiding

I love you in a place where there is no space or time, I love you for my life
You are a friend of mine, and when my life is over
Remember, remember, remember when we were together
And we are alone now, and I was singing this song to you

We were alone, and I was singing, yeah singing
We were alone, and I was singing this song for you

t.o.w. the things that come from behind

2006-04-27T20:34:00.000+08:00

Today's issue is not the cleanest.

Yesterday I was a very naughty dirty boy.

In the morning I was talking to Wenyi and then I decided I had to poop so I made her walk all the way to my poop toilet from the canteen. Because I don't want you all smelly stinko poopers to clog up my wonderful toilet bowl and stink up the nice quaint toilet, I shall not tell you sneaky squeakers where this amazing toilet is. But anyway, I realised that wenyi does not have a poop toilet! What a shocker because I've always had a poop place in all my schools prior and I thought it was just something everyone had but did not say.

I dont know if its common for people to do it, but how can anyone poop comfortably at different places all the time? I love my poop place. It has very nice ceramic seats instead of lousy plastic ones like those in the wings. And people who also use this toilet as their poop hole always remembers to flush. Very good civilised manners. Oh oh. Please don't try to tail me whenever you see me scratching my butt, gearing up for poop poop time...

More about my rear. After training today, I accidentally left a most memorable scent on banana's puff ball. We are now bonded for life. Everytime he uses the nice sweet-smelling ball to dry his hands, he will think of his dear bananamate.

Tomorrow is rolloff with NJ and PJ. Maybe I can have them slip on my nice poop poop in the toilet. Wee!

t.o.w. my disorder

2006-04-25T22:10:00.000+08:00

I may be suffering from the lethal African Sleeping Disease.

I sleep most of the day away and yet still feel tired.

I am told this disease kills in days.

Just in case, goodbye my fellow sleepy sleepersons.

t.o.w. that one pin

2006-04-22T22:03:00.000+08:00

I love that one pin. ONE PIN.... I LUUUURVE YOOOOO. I REAAAALI DOOOOO.

Today, in an extremely ironic lucky show of pulled hamstrings and high scores, I broke my PB again! Everybody jingle round the fire for Kenneth the Grand Master Low is bowling like an asscrack on fire. With my extreme precision and controlled power, I found myself bowling with perfect ease as I slowly climbed my way to 234. I ROCK.

Ok no. Thats just to ego-up myself a bit cos I think I need to be more confident of the way I'm bowling and not keep second guessing my decisions like whether to change strike line or use spare ball or strike ball for pins 6,8,9. Actually today was very tough because halfway through a horrible first game I jerked my knee and pulled my hamstring so all my approaches after that were screwed. And of course the first game sucked like shit because I think I closed none but one frame of the first nine so that was extremely pathetic and I only managed a feeble 122. But after that my doubles team got going! Haha. I had a very nice closed game for the 2nd but I cant remember the exact score now so I shall post it up for remembrance sake (and shameless bragging purposes) when Yan Chen gives me the scores. Yea. It was nice. 234. =D Shaojie did well too with his 190. If we bowl consistently like that, we may actually win something during nats! Haha. And then it was extremely hard mentally to not fall too far off average after that game but I think all my senseless nonsensical talk about killing the pins and ppp'owning the lanes worked out oddly enough because I still got good games after that. Haha. 178 and 168 for the next two games. Then the last game was another nice game cos even though I opened my 2nd and last frame, I got another bagger (yea!) so that helped the 200-effort and I managed to scrape a 202. Yea!!! Average today was 180! Without that freak first game it would have been 195.5 Haha. Nvm, I'm content. I think most people did better than wednesday and Janice broke PB too! It now stands at a very solid 209. Good for her. Power to the rest of the bowlers! Break your PB!

It does not bode well for hwachong bowling that I feel proud to be bowling like a 3rd-rate SA / AC, 2nd-rate RJ bowler. Because when we trained with them last saturday, their scores were something like this, 9/ X X X 9/ 9/ X X X X X9/. =D Haha. But still, happy happy happy day. =D

I'm terribly sorry if you feel like I'm bragging about stuff but I COULDNT BE BOTHERED BECAUSE I'M EXTREMELY HAPPY TODAY BECAUSE FINALLY SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENS AFTER A MOSTLY SHITTY WEEK. Thanks for reading though. =) Im mostly humble and nice. LOVE ME PLEASE.

Still! Our team, our pride! Jackets came today! And even though I feel like the font could have been a bit bigger since its a jacket, the general consensus is that it rocks so its good. Haha.

Its very 80s cabaret'ish.

Hmm. I feel accomplished today. Came home and slept and then went to run in a desperate attempt to fuel the kenneth-hotbod cause. I'm trying to make the world a little bit easier on the eyes people so please support me. Haha. Then after that I took a nice walk home. It was very liberating and relaxing. I promise to do it more often.

I AM SURE =)

t.o.w. i'm tired

2006-04-20T19:57:00.000+08:00

SOMEBODY HELP...

I'm a fucked up mess piece right now. I'm sleeping a whole lot more but I still feel drained. Way too many things going on now.

Anyway. Today this china woman called me on my phone looking for one of her dimwit china man friends to introduce china girls too. After I told her she got the wrong number she called me two more times and then got another friend to call me. Nicee.

I need soul therapy.

t.o.w. more reasons to love tree hill

2006-04-16T21:42:00.000+08:00

Ahh. I love one tree hill.

I'm at episode 206 now. Haha. I forgot for a bit why I thought season 2 owned season 1. Its nice to remember and see how nice and thoughtful people can be. Of course, theres all that new added darkness in the show that I think really sets itself up against OC with all the beaches and sunny golf courses. Yea yea.

As impossible as it seems in the Singaporean context, it would be nice if we all lived in a small suburban place (not far from town of course) and then we could all drive to each others houses and visit each other by magically appearing in each others rooms without the need to ring the door and greet the 20 million siblings and parents on the way in. Of course, I would then persuade Peyton not to do coke, Tim to stay as funny and childishly mature as he is, Felix to slam himself against the door, Anna to stop seducing Lucas, Lucas to grow more hair, Jake to come back faster with cute Jenny, Mouth to stay as nice and neutral, Haley to stop scolding Nathan for doing the sweetest possible things and Skills and Junk to have more air time. I fancy their group of friends ALOT.

Anyway. Yesterday was a nice day. Trained in the morning then went for lunch at concourse then took all kinds of buses to end up at united square to get my free ice cream from estelle. Rain sucked though. Got all wet and it definitely dampened. =( =)

AHH. ROLL-OFF TO DECIDE NATIONALS TEAMS ON WEDNESDAY...

t.o.w. i find tree hill

2006-04-15T00:55:00.000+08:00

I made the greatest slow discovery on earth.

Haha. Today, I ventured my way into youtube.com and it has proved to be a very rewarding experience because it apparently has like the entire one tree hill series on it. How slow can anyone be in finding this silly common website! Argh. Haha. It sucks more because I've always thought about wanting to go online when I'm not online and then when I am, I don't. Go figure. I have a great task ahead of me. To finish all 44 episodes that I havent watched yet. I love youtube.

Bowled today with Sheena and Zhiyong. I'm seriously considering using guard for nationals. I'm quite confused now. Boo =(

Onward with the tv shows!

Anyway, as lucas said, T.H. White said, perhaps we all give the best of our hearts uncritically to those who hardly think about us in return.

I want to stay in tree hill.

Maybe I can study in tree hill high.

I wish I had someone like skills

t.o.w. the class heroines

2006-04-13T22:28:00.000+08:00

All hail the queens of track.

Hmm. Props to lijia, liz, juli, wenyi, sok and ade for turning the heat up on the track during todays eight by two. But really, this entry is not about that.

I think the whole point of the sports day tradition is to practice great sportsmanship. Even though we might have turned it into a mega-race for points and pride, I think 2 lasses from my class truly stepped up and showed impeccable amounts of true grit and committment to the class.

First up. Its the really tall freak from my class who runs a 9 minute mile better than most. Even though she accidentally dropped the baton cos of all the jostling and shoving at the start, I think she more than made up for it by doubling back immediately, picking the damn slippery stick up and then hauling ass in the race. Not only did she manage to get back into the race, she actually managed to move from last position (8th) to second within the short 200m. Amazing I tell you. Them legs move like lighting. Haha. Somehow I feel like the minor setback made everyone in the team sit up and run that tad bit faster, so its definitely not a sure thing to say that we would have had a better run if she didnt drop the ball / baton. I don't believe there was a single ounce within her that said they wouldnt be winning the race after the baton slipped out of her hand. So for that true determination, give it up for long-legs xuyan! =D

The other heroine didnt so much as haul ass. But I think she taught everyone a lesson in life and thats that we shouldnt let the fear of not doing well keep us from the game. This asthmatic classmate of mine is not nearly half as fit as some of the wonder-woman trackers out there but shes right up there when it comes down to giving it a 100 percent. Not only did she step up to the plate when we really needed her, she actually ran a pretty good race for the first part of her leg. Alas, some cheeky god up there wasnt as big-hearted as she was because she ended up falling a short distance away from the pass point. Still, unlike other asthmatic people who probably would have quit there and then for fear of of her life, this little superhero girl picked herself up and completed the race with as much dignity and class as she normally carries herself with. Last but not least, when she had trouble breathing for a bit after the race, she actually was more concerned about the outcome of the race than her own raw survival. For that true committment, I think we all ought to pay our dues to miss die-trying cheryl!

After all our class races, we did our 74 cheer. It was nice. It reminded me of a bit of why I felt comfortable enough in this school to not bother thinking about jumping after the first 3 months.

t.o.w. the first bagger

2006-04-10T21:11:00.000+08:00

New Pb! New Pb! New Pb! New Pb!

Yea yea. I am a silly happy fool. I cannot be happier today. The past 3 days have been good days. Saturday was great fun out at town, Sunday was fulfilling cos I finally got down to finishing the econs S essay and today is an amazing day because I finally broke my personal best!

Haha. Yea yea. Orchid Country Club rocks my socks. Bowled 5 games. PB in the the 4th and surprisingly, I didnt drop too much off average in the 5th. So I'm very happy. I also had my first and second bagger ; 4 bagger (for the unenlightened - 4 strikes in a row) but that was a bit of a cheat cos it was spread across 2 games, like a turkey in the 10th frame of the previous one and a strike in the first frame of the next game. Which was THE great game cos I ended up closing all but one frame and even managed to to close the game with another 5 bagger! Wahhaha. I am damn happy. I am laughing like a jawless geek. Anyway, this is the impeccable game.

X 61 7/ X X X 9/ X X XXX - 233

Wahaha. I could not stop laughing and smiling even though I got conned of a lot of money by 2 freaks. Haha. Still, a worthy cause no doubt. Haha. To think I was still telling myself last saturday that I have this phobia of baggers and that I can never strike after a turkey. Yea yea, all that crap laid to rest now. On to greater heights!

Shit. I forgot the lane no. at OCC.

t.o.w. the tripartite coincidencee

2006-04-09T12:16:00.000+08:00

With all thats been going around lately I feel like I need to be getting some action too. Haha.

Anyway. Scandalous saturday in all its sneaky sensational glory. Met up with Alison to get birthday stuff for Shiqi SB cos KOH CHAO PONG the WOMANISER decided to go to the movies with three other girls. Anyway, not to be outdone and in a freak coincidencee, Alison and I scheduled to meet different people at the same time to watch the same movie at the same place. Alas, the gods up there had a good prank to play on KCP cos he too had a trimultaneous movie date at the exact same place and time. Feeling as though we were on higher ground to mock and ridicule at his little escapade, we were quickly brought back down to reality when we realised our 3 parties were all watching the same movie at different theatres. Can you imagine! That freakish PS actually has so many theatres that it schedules 3 bloody theatres for the same movie time slot. WTF. No mockery played out in the end. Still, there was lots of laughter about the days eventful happenings. I am getting free drinks from at least 2 people. Yea yea. Another freak owes me 20 bucks, but that may never materialise.

I've always said that PS was the hwachong place to be but damn that was freaky.

And now more exciting things are happening! Even though I'm not directly involved in anything thats going on in there, I still feel a bit of a connection in the relation. Yea yea. I am a happy fool but no doubt whatever is going on in there has got me thinking. And so I wind up quite confused as to what the hell is going on with me and what the heck should I do.

Ahh. Maybe I don't have time for this. I think I signed up for death by agreeing to help out for SYF. I AM SCREWED. Bowling a bit better though. I think I'm more consistent and smart about the entire thing now. Just need to get into the groove, relax and get high on high scores. Haha.

My tagboard is officially dead. Please people, at least pretend to take interest in my wonderful life. I WILL RETURN THE FAVOUR, YOU FREAKS.

I realise that maybe I'm not as good at persuading people than what I think, I'm just persistent to the point of irritation that it works. Hmm.

Oh well. This how damn world is built on maybe.

I am so not a science person.

But I'm scientific enough to understand that Science has no maybes. So I'm actually maybe a bit of a science person. Then again, this entire pardoxical stupid para doesnt do much for personal imaging.

Byee.

t.o.w. change

2006-04-04T20:54:00.000+08:00

Things are changing around here!

I know I am. I have taken the first step towards achieving the goals set in OBK. Yea yea. I will be a happy person when I get the letter back.

Talked to gracia for a bit just now and it still amazes me how OBK brought 13 of us so close together in the spirit of adventure. Ok right, I probably don't talk to all of them often anymore but its nice to just know that they are there and that we are there for one another all the time. Oh and of course Hsien the nehman and estelle the icecream scooper. All a nice bunch.

Anyway about change. Just an hour ago, my neighbours maid came to bid us goodbye cos she was leaving for home (sri lanka) tomorrow. Shes really nice cos she always mops the common area outside my house and then shes damn cute cos she spends her free time growing plants in her garden and she gives us a few pots every now and then. And when the plants arent doing well at our place, she comes to fix them with fertiliser that she buys on her own or she comes and replaces them with new ones. She really is sweet. I remember there was once when my neighbour's family was going through some problems and they kinda took it out on her so much so that her employers just gave her 5 packets of maggi to last for a whole week and I remember so vividly how she came up to us and asked for eggs and bread cos she had ran out of food and was feeling really faint. 12 years we've been here and for 12 years shes been doing the exact thing. But tomorrow onwards she'll be gone. And her 2 main charges (2 boys) were so sad that one of them wrote her a long letter to tell her how much he loved and how much he thanks her for everything that she has done. And this charge is a 15 year old boy from ACSI for crying out loud. Talk about impacting lives. Even though its really not much of my business, its just weird when something you've grown so accustomed to disappears and change happens. Good on you, Dorothy. =)

Anyway. Moving on to other stuff. I just realised why I don't get how this persons behaves at times. I mean sometimes she just a really nice person and really nice to kick back with. But its her overbearing ego (that could actually take down an average guys') and how she is actually quite bimbotic. Haha. Not in the pinkish manner cos she really is smart and all but the thing is she doesnt know too much about respecting people and treating them as equals and also she doesnt know a great deal about common everyday stuff. So that brings me to a rather unjustified but sensible conclusion that she is too warped up in her little world. Step out of your bubble, lady. Thank god I don't see you too often.

Yea yea. I am ponning tmr.

t.o.w. I get ugly

2006-03-30T21:25:00.000+08:00

The mood is a rather happy solemn. I'm totally apopletic but somehow I'm really proud of myself.

Bad stuff first. So anyway, we finally got down to finalising my SLP and we've been working on trying to get in contact with a certain VWO that we've had in mind. Anyway, no one wanted to be conversing with the person-in-charge over the phone so I stepped up with all the interpersonal skills that The Aapprentice has thought me. If not for the constancy in noise in school I probably would have tried to get it done over the speakphone. Haha. Yep. So cool. Anyway that was on tuesday. So I called them up and asked to speak to the person in charge but was told that she was busy and that she would give me a call back. So yep. I waited like a heavenly saint up till the very next day and found that to be a tad bit weird cos I did place the call rather early the previous morning. So anyway. I waited half a day but still to no avail so I called them up again but was told that she would only be in after 2pm. Right. So I called again after 2pm and now I was connected to her line but after a minute of pointless waiting I was redirected back to the original respondent who told me that that freaking woman had just stepped out momentarily. Right on then, I called back about an hour later and the exact thing happened. Not wanting to be a huge bore to the poor call-placer, I told them to pass the message to her to inform her that a couple of hwachong students were interested in raising funds for them. I was told I'd get a call back by the end of the day. That of course did not happen. So move on to today when I called them up again only to realise that no one was picking up the phone now. Maybe they have caller-id or something but hell yeah that was downright irritating anyway. That went on for a couple of calls actually until the 4th call when they finally picked up and I was once again directed to THAT BITCH'S line but only worst than the previous time because I was put on hold for like 5 minutes without being redirected at all! Now that was the last straw. Plenty of other VWOs out there who might not be physically perched on the eschelons of the ego tree. I mean who the hell are they to act as if they don't need the money. And even if that were the case and they had some pseudomono reason why they could not liase with us then the very least they could do is to give a call back to politely reject us. Not to do so is simply rude and demeaning. Am I not deserving of respect and dignity just because I'm a student and may not be able to bring in the booty. Bitchwhore. I am going to call her up tomorrow and hurl great abuse.

More unhappiness maybe surrounding the same theme. But actually this one turned out pretty well. So anyway. I watched I not stupid 2 and felt like it really accurately portrayed how kids feel when their parents preach about doing things that they themselves don't do. So I was right on to that today because I failed to "preen the sofa cushions" I got nagged at and so I made a passing comment as to why everything had to be so monica perfect because I really didnt see the need of having to arrange and then mess up the throw pillows a mere hour later (cos I was going back to watch tv). And then this time I got yelled at for how it doesnt matter if its even for 10 minutes yada yada and how at this rate we shouldnt even make our beds (which actually I'm firmly for because seriously, whats the sense and also studies have shown that not making your bed allows aeration and actually kills some anaerobic bacteria. Ohh.) So then I explained my stand really nicely in a rather peaceful tone I would say but still that wasnt good enough of course. But seriously, its not like we were having guests over or the Queen of England was visiting or something. I meant if that were the case you can be sure that I'd actually keep my boxers and calvins neatly in the cupboard. Anyway still not good enough because he decided to throw a tantrum befitting of a 2 year old and decided that he shall not be doing "crap" for us and so he refuses to iron our clothes. Nothing much really, it was just that one set of uniform. And so then I finally reacted. I mean we've had conversations or rather a dialogue of shouting and speaking that have run along these lines all too often already. But this time I finally reacted. So I called him on it. I said that there were times when he left dirty utensils in the sink and didnt get back to them till way later in the day. And then he made some stupid remark about how I should have told him about it. WELL. That really made no sense at all so that came to an end. Hmm. I guess I'm not proud of how I reacted I mean with all the greater good thing going on, I might have toed the line a bit with what I said at the end. But I'm actually proud to have actually stood up for myself for a bit instead of just doing everything in accordance with the golden rule. Because seriously it makes no sense that I have to preen everything and have it be in tip top condition when for the most part of the day, the house is in quite a mess and then he finally gets down to clearing up just before she gets home from work. So I don't see why there are double standards at all. Still not to keen on the whole confrontation but I think I put some things up in the air for thought cos 10 minutes later he was offering fruits and talking about my music and being all chummy for quite a bit. That's a bit pathetic I must say but I guess there really arent lasting feuds in a family I guess.

Oh. I also don't get how some people deal with other people. I mean for crying out loud I'm here to HELP you. FACILITATE the process. Not be there for you to look at me and tell me what YOU want and then fan you with papers and feed you grapes while you look pretty on the throne which wouldnt fit anyway, you physically incorrect freak. Haha. So suck it up sucker. I sure in hell am not going to do anything until the word please surfaces for a bit. Now on the other hand, Dawei really rocks. He knows how to deal with people a whole lot and is extrenely tactful so much so that you actually feel good rushing out stuff for him. Lot to learn my unproportioned friend, not everything revolves around a good command of the languages and self-thought good looks.

Happy about stuff too! Grades from blocks have been pretty promising and I guess its good because I'm now inclined to believe that work can really make up for obvious dumbness. Haha. Good grades. I'm thoroughly happy. Anxiously awaiting compre and bio though. But still. =)

Oh. Took joy's car home from training on wednesday (by the way training got really good at the end because I realised why my ball was rev'ing the mother solar eclipse away but wasnt hooking much, I hook like a bloody hooker now) and that was real fun. Her mum is really comical. Haha. It was all good. I guess you had to be there but still worth me reading to remember what a great time I had in that few minutes. My jaws were aching from grinning too much.

Now thats ugly for you.

Can I pon sch tmr.

t.o.w. the safra gods

2006-03-25T22:47:00.000+08:00

The psuedo-yishun-time gods have something very much against me.

I always bowl like crap during the early games and then when it comes down to like the 5 frames that we can bowl in the remaining 15 mins or so then I start bowling like a bloody SA bowler. Like the previous time I was at Safra, I was 150 at the 7th frame with strikes. And then today I was 70 at the 3rd frame with strikes in the 4th and the 5th (X 9/ X X X) and then the lanes closed midway. I will never break my pb at this rate. But at least I think I'm doing it correctly. I've given up trying to look pro and so even though my ball goes rather straight even though there is a nice rev, I shant bother too much about looking the part. At the very most I'll just pose after the release. Anyway, 10 years down the road its the scores that count and not what people have been talking about the cool factor and other stuff. So blocks are over and now I can start my heavy training! Haha. Supposedly I'm due for training on 1s 3s 5s and 6s. Haha. I don't care that its 4 days a week and that I may not have time for other nonsense stuff like studying. Haha. Term 2 is a non studying term so all the focus on nationals and age group. 15 - 26 May at Yishun Safra people. Come support your dear friend.

Right. I think I'm quite lazy. I reached home from training at 2 and then slept till 530. Haha. Then I did some crap and then watched The Great Raid. Err. I guess it was an ok show. The ending was quite good. I didnt get to see much of the fighting action cos it was filmed in the dark and stuff. But overall, I guess a pretty good film. Haha. Oh. I saw OC Season 2 out at rentals and now I can't wait to get to them but I don't have a tv in my room (it broke) and I want to be able to enjoy the californian rich ass socialites having fun in the comfort of my own room so I'm quite lost now. Which brings me to lost also. I'm at episode 12 of season 2. I've seen THE OTHERS and the freaky monster on the island. Love me and I may tell you. Heh.

Hmm. Recently I was thinking about the person I've become during my brooding sessions and I must say I'm not very happy. Just the way I've acted about some stuff. Granted not everybody played their part in making my day seem remotely normal but still I guess I should try to become a better person. Because the adage may say that no one can be perfect but that doesnt mean we should stop trying to become better people. So to all the people whom I've come cross across, I'm rather sorry. Actually I may not be but at least I'm trying. But its ok! I'm going to change up things a little bit. Bit by bit I guess. Small things first.

For the betterment of the world, tomorrow when I wake up I will make my bed.

t.o.w. the beeg smile

2006-03-24T22:56:00.000+08:00

I am extremely happy. Blocks are over!

Ok I think I'm over-reacting to this whimsical feat seeing as how this was perhaps one of the smallest and insignificant of the 4 major exams I have going on this year. But still, of all the exams I've had to do in hwachong (which isnt a lot actually), I think I'm just really happy about this one. For one I actually feel good for most of the papers. Like I don't necessarily think I'll score great grades but I do think I'll fare ok and that it'll be reflective of the amount of work I put into it. And now that is actually a great deal of shitass work because I hauled ass from the friday before the holidays and for most part of the many days, I could be found ferociously devouring my notes like little tomatos. Secondly, I feel quite contented having known I probably did my best during the exam period so what the heck with the scores, I couldnt care less.

You know what, I am seriously considering writing a letter to MOE to ask them to majorly overhaul the syllabus so that we are only tested on MCQ. I mean that seems to work the best cos' those are the questions that test the concepts. Essays and other shithead stuff, ok maybe not for maths and arts but surely the sciences because all that essays serve are to hone our memory skills so instead of giving me an unblemished O level cert maybe the ministry can give me certificate to recognise the little amount of memoric capabilities that I possess. Like I have a MAT (Memory Aptitude Test) of 2040/2400 (as was my SAT).

You know during the entire mugfest I kept telling myself to blog about certain things but I can't really remember now. Bio takes a whole lot out of you. Actually today was quite a nice day in the morning cos I felt like I knew a lot of bio stuff. Haha. Happy happy dumbass.

Oh, but one thing I remember really well is the entire socio-analysis that we have going on in our public transport. Well namely buses I guess cos I havent been on the trains for like 2 months now. But anyway! I really don't get why people deem it fit to inform the entire bus of their phone conversation. And its not like obvious bragging stuff like complaining about the heavy traffic to their soulmates at home about being bunched up in traffic while their house guests Zoe and Fann were are sitting pretty on the couch looking at the traffic situation on the news channels. Its silly nonsensical stuff like "I'M LATE LA. BUS TOOK DAMN LONG TO GET HERE. STUPID 74. YA OK. REACHING SOON LA. SORLI SORLI." That I really don't get. But I guess its indulgent behavior from phone usage at homes or perhaps the guy on the receiver is the deaf equivalent of Mr. Stevie Wonder. Right. Anyway. The next thing I don't get is the "giving up the seat to the elderly/pregnant folks". While I'm all for that movement, I don't think its an obligatory gesture. I mean, it should be done out of courtesy and all as part of Singapore turning into a great polite city. (right.) But nonetheless, I don't feel like those who are seated simply have to all get their massive bums up from the chair to allow that one poor lady who just boarded a free choice of her seat. So I found it extremely weird when this old lady (50s-60s) came up the bus and then squeezed her way into the main pack before gesturing to this dork at the aisle seat to get him to booze up so that she could take the seat. What the hell was that? Even worst was when this rather largely-sized old man boarded the bus with his friend. His friend wasnt that old and made his way to the back to stand along the sides while a kind student kindly stood up from the outer seat to offer the inner seat to the old man. That he did and the old man plonked his considerable behind on the chair and seemed to purposefully shift his bum and ass crack around to occupy about one and a half seats. The student was kind enough not to want to infringe on the much needed butt breathing space because it seemed like another person on its on so he moved away. The old man then waved to his merry friend at the back and asked him to join him at the front! That his friend also did and when that happened, his butt seemed to magically contract and only occupied a little more than the one seat.

Amazing I tell you, what people do on our buses.

For the betterment of our shiny sunny state, I hope they all die.

Oh. I also have this feeling that the future IRs are gonna be uncle / aunty hangouts where the uncles have overbulging breast pockets that are filled with every single possible contraption concievable by man and the aunties clutch onto their fake leather prada, LV bags like it was the bible.

I am very scared.

I want to be a newyorkista. Please please please, let me go. The people in the casinos at atlantic city are really hip and cool.

t.o.w. the crass, ugly and dunce

2006-03-11T18:34:00.000+08:00

I am whining in front of the computer with a terrible stomachache.

I have decided to lay myself off sodas. It seems to trigger the worst pain reaction.

Anyway. I am very disturbed with the way I'm bowling. I don't know why but ever since that stupid competition at Yishun Safra, I've been horribly inconsistent. Well actually no, I've been rather consistent actually cos I'm consistently bowling bad. I'm not pulling, I'm not releasing right, I'm not sending it out right. Everything is wrong! And today, for the first time in my life I actually bowled a blister right open. Its on my ring finger. Mid-3rd game. This sucks. I am going to do so well in nationals.

You see I'm still trying to be positive.I deserve to break my pb next week.

Oh yes. I was lying on the bed this afternoon and then I thought about the general attitude of my dearest high school juniors. In general, and I must emphasise general cos there are a couple of great guys in the bunch like those in my junior class but let me just say that for the most part, they are uncouth, ungentlemanly, extremely poseurish and yet do not carry it off, are rather clueless about style and fashion and extremely ignorant and dumb about their behavior. You know and I thought my year was bad with all the beng'sters in the midst. But this group is a whole lot worst cos they think they are up there with all the social niceities and all when all they are really crass little boys who try to act cool and that makes me sad. A lot of them engage in a certain game in a certain place in the school and love to act like they are they kings of the world. My favourite revolution moment was when a few of my female classmates beat them. That was a nice day. Of course that has seemed to provide the impetus for them to work really hard on their game cos they are really good now but I guess they still suck anyhow cos I'd never think of them as great unless they act like they arent playing against themselves. Dweebs. What a disgrace to the white shirt and khaki pants. Why kids, why? Grow up little boys, grow up. Its not ALL about image and the wind in your hair.

My com is extremely laggy.

Anyway. After training today I bought 2 books. One is fiction about discipline and the other is a travel guide to NYC. I am a true blue New Yorker. Y'all can come visit me at the boarding school at Columbia Uni down at West 114th. 10 stops away from timese square on 42nd and broadway on the 1,3,4,9 trains. =)

Please employ me, Donald.

I know that it takes at least 45 mins to and hour to get from place to place during rush hour.

t.o.w. the trump love

2006-03-10T20:21:00.000+08:00

I'm quite pissed at myself for not stepping up during todays GP paper.

Granted it was hard but there were lots of stuff that I should know but got jammed up and did not figure out until after the paper. I think I just set myself up for a kick in the butt.

Anyway. Today was an energy-debilitating day. I am tired. The plan was to run for a bit and then start studying for blocks but I didnt do either cos I'm just really tired from the GP salvo and then we had that long bio lecture that seemed to never end and of course the silly econs S paper lesson where I got my essay back with a nice beeg fat F on the cover. At this rate, my american dream is never going to materialise. Vappy! =(

Hmm. Went for dinner with ronald mcdonald today and talked for a bit. Mainly about our predilection to dislike certain people. Haha. Anyway, I cant really remember what we talked about cos its always senseless cock but its always fun then and there.

You know I don't think I've been engaged in an intelligent conversation about current issues for quite some time now. I am becoming stale. I am also extremely bored. Please engage in an intellectual conversation about racial discrimination, love, homosexuality, Singaporean unglams (my favourite) or socio-economic issues like the IR and other yadayadas. Mind your niceties and tone though, don't get tough on me.

Recently I've been thinking about that interview that just might determine the path of my life. I've decided that the best thing to do is to be confident, poised and speak excitedly so that the panel can be as excited as I am in wanting to send me overseas. Haha. Also I've been thinking about how much I want the opportunity and how I want it so badly. You know, if by some twisted game of fate and considerable touching of wood that I end up losing a scholarship to someone who may have better results but does not want it as much as I do nor will fit into the social milieu of the great city of New York then I would freak out. I hope that in publishing this paragraph some weird but kind, insanely rich soul will pity the haggard state I find myself in and decide to sponsor my education and champion my career. DONALD. Are you reading this?

I am an adjunct of the insane.

In order to ace that interview that I will most probably sit for in 2 years time, I will start talking to myself today about possible questions that the honourable panel filled only with truly great eminent jolly folks will ask.

Trump Organisation. Apprentice. Trump International. Trump Building. Trump Hotel. Trump Golf and Country Club. Trump's hair .

Maybe Caroline or George will read this entry when they do a random search on the internet for those keywords listed above. Then they'll refer my case to the donald.

I am desperate...

New York, the capital of the WORLD.

t.o.w. brokeback underpass

2006-03-05T00:40:00.000+08:00

I am flattered.

Today, I was hit on.

However, far from being ideal, I was hit on based on the design of my shoe and more importantly, I was hit on by a guy.

Basically I had just sent Sheena to Suntec and was walking back to City Hall MRT through a rather famed underground shopping mall. Anyway, I suddenly had the runs and thus decided to pay the loos a visit. So I plonked myself on the rather comfortable toilet seat and was just beginning to ponder in amazement of how wonderfully clean the toilet was. Toilet seat up. No pee stains. Toilet roll neatly in place. Anyway, I had just replied a sms and I realised the guy in the cubicle adjacent to mine was inching his feet closer towards my cubicle through this gap that lies between the cubicle walls and the floor. He was clad in surfer slippers and shall now be termed Mr. Slippers for convenience sake. Anyway. I just thought that he was squirming hard to egest. I decided to play a game of pinball on my phone. Then I realised Mr. Slippers' right foot was now almost inside my cubicle. Still, I dismissed it as a particularly large poop on its way out. But all of a sudden, FINGERS appeared. Yes. Long slender fingers that I'm quite sure still belongs to a guy cos there was a certain amount of hair on the legs. Anyway. He slipped his right hand through the gap and began to move them in the most suggestive of manners. He made a repeated cyclic motion with his hands that were a mimic of "come here". Now this got me to realise that this was more than a particularly pudgy portion piece of poop. I wanted to leave immediately but due to certain unfinished business, I could not. The fingers were retracted for a bit and I thought that maybe Mr Slippers got the idea that he was interrupting my pooping. Tried as I might to push and squirm, I could not finish my business in any order fast enough to decree immediate removal of my ass from the seat. And then all of a sudden, an entire plam appeared. On it was a handphone that had written on it "Hi, want some fun?" Weirdly enough, this managed to get the poop going and I was soon done. So that was the cue to pick up and leave. At this point of time, there were a couple of scenarios in my head.

1. Practical joke played by some asshole who was obviously constipated and had nothing to do while egesting.

2. A weird ploy to try to grab my phone and run in the event that I replied his msg through the gap.

3. A true need for gay canoodling/ fornication.

Having decided that the last option was most likely, that, compounded by the fact that I was done with my pooping and did not want to give Mr. Slippers any suggestive information that might make him think his chances of getting laid were high, I left the toilet in a most swift fashion.

Anyway, once out of the toilet and into the protective public eye, I decided to wait for the bugger asshole to come out to see which desperado he was. But that did not occur after a while and I realised he might have already moved on to a new target. I was greatly traumatised. Flattered that my shoe would actually attract such attention, but still mostly traumatised.

The weirdest part was that it was obvious from his fingers and foot that he a young cajoler. Not the jikohpeh kind. Somehow that makes it even more off.

I am now in firm favour of an embargo of public toilets.

But he liked my shoe. =D

In other less scandalous news. I almost broke my PB today. I was at the 6th frame and it read 143 and I had strikes in both the 7th and 8th frame. Almost on course for a huge confidence booster until the counter decided that time was up. It was most dejecting. Boo.

t.o.w. the brood mood

2006-03-01T22:21:00.000+08:00

Recently I find myself brooding aka Lucas like.

And when I brood I think back about pivotal moments in my life and sometimes wonder if I took the right choice. I know everytime after we come out fresh from an experience we look back with relief and say that we came out as better people from that but sometimes I guess your thoughts on issues change with time and events.

Lets see, I decided to chance it in Chinese High and I don't think I'll ever regret cos its really taught me a lot about dealing with people and stuff. I also decided to take a shot at NP and now though that has been tough, it probably was a helluva learning curve for me so I'm still grateful. I made a really good decision in wanting to go for OBK and now that really was rewarding in all aspects. I actually cant wait to recieve my letter that I wrote to myself in the Korean Wilderness. but every now and then I still wonder what could have happened if I had really jumped ship and taken a chance at going to RJ instead of following the mass mentality. Lets just say that for most part of my secondary school education I was inclined towards moving over but then some how some where along the line that fell to schmuck and I ended up here. Not that its been bad. I must mention that. I have learnt enough to know not to bite the hand that feeds and hc truly has been a really warm place with good friends and all but every now and then I still feel like I never do fit in. I mean. Seriously. I'm not the brotherly-high-fivey kind. I'm not the kind that discusses all the various types of superstars that actually calls for a whole other entry but yeah. I'm not the extreme sporty and extreme cool kind. I'm not the muggerish kind though sometimes I wish I was. I'm the anti-thesis of everyone in those categories. I lust after my favourite shows with stalker mentalities and am probably one of the few people here with a greater interest in socio-political films like brokeback and crash than in blockbuster action-packed hits. So every now and then when I'm down and feeling broody it makes me wonder if I would have been that tad bit happier in RJ maybe. Just because there might be a greater chance of meeting people that I can actually connect with. Truth of the matter is that I only know a handful bunch of people whom I can truly communicate my ideas to effortlessly and that speaks volumes because they arent even the people that I usaully hang out with. Of course, if I had gone into RJ then there might not have been such a warm fuzzy family environment that truly welcomes. But then again, its not like I feel truly accepted and happy in hc 24/7 anyway.

So theres that. Its impossible to find out. All I know is that I really need to sell it and work hard to get my butt down to studying so that I can be in NY in a few years with Sheena studying at Columbia / Cornell / NYU to truly live our American dream. The mere thought of it is enough to keep me going. Haha. There is that distant chance that we will both do well enough to make it and then end up as friends aka f.r.i.e.n.d.s. and truly live life new york style! Haha.

If that were to happen then at least I can thank hwachong for giving me a great friend in vappy. =)

Aww. You better be moved to tears my dear Vappy. =)

t.o.w. you (me) don't fit

2006-02-27T20:26:00.000+08:00

Today is a very bad day. I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

Almost everyone had a great deal part in irating me today. Since that doesnt happen too often I guess its just me and my big butt emotions at work. Not quite the day to engage in lively discussion about topics or try to sell and pitch your idea across to me. I must thank some people for mediating and being generally nice though. I must say I never would have thought it possible a while ago. But anyway, I don't think anyone gravely stepped on my toes today except for that one person that was once again his irritating self. Heh. =D Everytime I say that I feel a great sense of pride and joy. But yeah, he spends a great deal of time in his own reverie and acts like he knows a lot when all he knows is actually diddlysquat about one main thing that is seriously of NO INTEREST to the general public so he should quit trying to glorify the idea because seriously no one outside that circle of thought understands nor comprehends the stupidity behind the entire rara motion. Anyway! In short, he knows nothing and will be the first one fired on Apprentice. I couldnt be more clear about the person's identity now. I feel accomplished. Muahaa.

Hmm. I havent had that much time to blog lately but recently I've gotten rather solemn and quiet. I think I'm just tired. Sometimes I really don't get group dynamics. It just pisses me off that people should actually be submissive all the time while some others just free ride on a boutful of different hormones and get away with it. If you ask for equality then step up and toughen up. Your mule'ful ways are irritating.

Argh. Too much negative energy.

On a whole other different note, I watched Brokeback Mountain and found it to be the best theatrical delight ever. To have expressed so many themes in the short span of the text really makes Anne Proulx a great writer, Ang Lee a great director and Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhal two very talented actors. I watched it last week into the wee hours of the morning and was too tired to think about the show after it ended. But the next day, the excellence of execution in the film really took me by storm and I spent an entire chemistry lecture thinking up the themes and issues behind the mostly homosexual flick. For the most part, the film is actually rather entirely straight because I don't even think the word homosexual or gay was conned up then. People just thought of it as being queer. But more seriously, I think the book and film has done their part in spreading the message that the desire to love is a free will. That was done really tastefully. Another thing that struck me as being delightfully expressed was the need to keep up with social appearances. That, even in a non-homosexual light seems really relevant to our lifes and how we live it. Just today I was wondering how sometimes social graces are more often than not hypocritical and that we don't necessarily are in line with what we speak when out of courtesy. But upon watching the show and of course after today's multitude of horryifing events, I have come to the conclusion that though hypocritical, social graces should still be observed because it makes the world slightly more breathable. Yes that includes you two prickheads. Thank you Anne Proulx. I read the text a bit and the poignant ending really got me going. My tear ducts were drained by lethargy so I couldnt cry but I was in short, emotionally overwhelmed. Great great great. People who go into the cinema and only come out feeling like the 2 dudes look really good together obviously don't think much. Shudder at the thought of their gen'one.

Woo! Finally got that out. Oh but wait. There are a multitude of amazing quotes in the book and movie and my favourite one was "a pretended place where blue birds sing and theres' a whiskey spring". That said in a southern drawl is a freaking good line. And my favourite live quote was "Jack, I swear.." in the very last scene. That was real good too.

Anyway. I feel like watching it all over again. Haha.

Had competition yesterday! Haha, here are our results!

Girls Category 1st - Joy Feng
Girls Category 2nd - Sheena Yap
Under 18 Age Group 1st - Kenneth Low!

Haha, the above information is highly dubious because Joy and Sheena were the only girls in the entire competition and I was the only male teenager. But then even though I was up against all the old uncles who've probably bowled even before I was concieved, I think I still did good. Haha. At least we got to "compete" at Yishun Safra for real at least so we won't be nervous wrecks when it comes to nationals then. Haha. And I think I've made good progress! Haha. My last competition in June last year was a total flop and I only hit 128 avg. Haha. My avg yesterday was 151. I think thats good seeing as how I'm still a bit of a noob. And I'm quite happy because I've now bowled 11 games without going below 134. Very happy indeed. I must learn how to pick off pin ten on the right approach at safra though. The bloody ball feeder is damn irritating. Boo. All in all, I'm happy with the competition. Haha. I was on such a high that I could study late into the night for chem test today. Hmm, maybe that was why I was so cross today. I need more sleep. Haha. Oh. Another price to pay is the aching arm. I'm not joking, try bowl 8 games in a row and I tell you your hands will drop off. Yea yea. Sheena we conquered another mountain!

Haha. Everyone should check out Sheena's entry on the competition here . It is hilarious.

Ok. I'm a mess now. I think I'm too provocative in this entry.

Too bad people, eat shit, live sad and beg for ungranted pity.

t.o.w. racomonac

2006-02-19T21:46:00.000+08:00

Ahh. Finally I am free.

I think tomorrow will be the first time in 3 weeks that I'm coming back from school when the sun hasn't set yet. Incredibly busy week but all in all a good rewarding week.

Vday was good. A lot of chocolates. I really don't mind that people get me good chocs for Vday. At least I'll get to fully enjoy it. Haha. Anyway, thanks for Ade, Wenyi, Sheena, Janice, Elaine, Nicole, Youxin, Alison, Xuyan, Meiyi, Yuqin, Juli and Guanyin and anyone else if I might have missed you out for the presents. I must give Juli special mentioned because the sweetest dear actually bothered to remove all the carrots from a bag of mixed veggies and then boiled the remaining peas and corns and gave it to me to symbolise the purity of our supposed "love" as our respective sweet pea and sweet corn aliases. Haha. My "sweet pea" is really sweet. Oh. And then my other hehheh, Xuyan gave me meiji chocs that had this nice engraving on it but what she said after our lonely singles outing at KAP was also a great present. =) And on friday, I made a new wife! Xiang Yu! Production manager. Haha. My my, I must curb my polygamic ways.

Talking about dramafeste, thats the main reason why I'm reaching home at about 11 everyday. Ahh. Props were done a long time ago but we were fine-tuning scene transistions and repairing the props. Heck of a busy week but I must say it was extremely fun. Even though for the the first time in my life I was coerced into waking up at 430 in the morning to study for the wretched econs timed assignment, which by the way I woke up to prepare the WRONG question so I'm pretty much prepared to fail anyway. But on thursday during dramafeste 1, the scene changes really were flawless and I must say the entire ares dramafeste team was so hyped up about what Mr. Parry said to us after the first show. He said, "In the 7 years of dramafeste history, your's is the best play I've seen." And that really means a lot cos' even though I didnt play a significant part in the entire production, but the simple fact that I was part of this historic team made the victory on Friday seem ever so sweet. Of course, the fact that we won best ensemble probably meant the most to me. Plus the fact that Mr. Parry came in again after Friday to thank us for setting the benchmark for dramafeste. Now that really was the icing on top of the cake. I guess what I'm trying to say is that the entire dramafeste experience has simply been rewarding. Not to mention that I got to know my junior class better and made better friends out of acquaintances. I'm really pleased.

Now, its back to the mundaneness of school life. Which at this point of time, I actually miss and need. I need structure badly. Tons of lagging tutorials though. Argh. Time time time, I still need time.

I'm an emotional wreck. Best left to self-destruct.

t.o.w. the rush rush rush

2006-02-10T21:45:00.000+08:00

Ahh. The week has been a great whirl.

I don't even remember living out Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Silly dramafeste (with all the silly politics) and silly shopping (with all the silly prices) has really taken up bulk of the week.

I don't even have time to blog lah.

I need time. Time. Time. Time. More time.

Now thats the answer to everything.

Boo. I'm confused.

Anyway, I only remember training on wednesday. It was damn fun cos it was gossip day and we were sharing juicy gossips. We were literally running down the approach, ball in hand and then tearing back to the chairs to know more. Haha. I bowled fine that day. Managed to close 7 straight frames. Quite happy. Zhiyong suggested that I hang a bagua on the lane during nationals. Heh. Bowling training rocks.

Went to town on Wednesday to get Vday stuff with Sheez the Peez the Miz and then again on Friday with Ade. ARGH. I'm dead. I spent about 175 on all my vday gifts. Thats a substantial amount of my angbao money and thats a 300% increase from my original stingy budget. But I really like every single present I bought. They all mean something. Haha. And then the hand-made gifts too, although I seriously think I don't have time to finish everything.

The essay I wrote today, I really like. It might just be the most sound essay I've written content wise.

I feel like I'm no longer blogging on fun.

Truthfully, I want normal.

t.o.w. the bad lasagne

2006-02-05T23:32:00.000+08:00

I am suffering from the runs.

Must be the shit lasagne from friday's JTS at spageddies. Haha. The cheese was damn thick and strong lah. I did not enjoy my beef lasagne. Haha. I actually think I'm a stupid cheena boy trying to pass off as an angmor trying to be an italian cuisine extraordinairre. I am a cheapo fake. Haha. Anyway. JTS was quite fun. Shared a table with chaopong, qingliang, youxin, elaine, peishan, wenhui, huijin and yunpei. Haha. Was quite fun lah. Wenhui makes a lot of dumb comments but they turn out quite funny. Huijin only goes aaaarrrggghhhhhh when she tios the MRT game. Peishan still looks like a lost lamb. Elaine treated me to the awful lasagne but thanks anyway. Heh. Youxin is as dumb as me in wanting to play the stupid niwota game. And Yunpei knows her food cos she ordered the best dish at the table. Haha. Yea. The juniors are nice. Best thing is they will be in dramafeste too so thats more fun.

I think I feel younger when I'm with the juniors. Today I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror and I notice that my skin is starting to sag. Things are no longer where they used to be. I am very sad. I am not even 18. I havent event finished puberty and I am ageing.

Today I was at Ikea with Yuqin shopping for props for dramafeste. Her mom is damn nice and fun. Haha. And then I ate a double cheese. I miss the burger from the airport in Korea. AHH. I love burgers. Nothing better than cheese and beef. Anyway. Dramafeste is going to kill me. I am positively sure. This week we are going to have to stay back to 7++ and then next week its 9++. AHHHH. I am going to flunk BT1. Hai.

Oh. In other news, I have decided to lose weight after I found a second chin protruding from the first. CNY rocks but the aftermath is quite terrible.

Oh. Went to visit estelle at ben n jerrys at united square. I bought this sorbet splash drink and she took eternity to make it cos' she didnt know how to do it. Haha. And then at one point she lost the blender cover. Haha. Estelle rocks. But seriously, everyone should support the girl with the best laugh in OBK.

I am Sebil Trawlawney. The great soothsayer. Jiggly Jiggly Jiggle Poo.

t.o.w. the taxi queue

2006-01-27T23:15:00.000+08:00

I am the absolute gentleman.

Today I was trying desperately to get a cab from school to pia down to cine to join the Climbing Club people plus chaorong and cheryl at Kbox. However, bitches and assholes immediately started cutting my queue. And normally I wouldnt mind cos I'm very nice and I'm also too lazy to walk up to tell the person off. However, today the taxis were few and far between so I decided I had to do something! First of course I must add that future economists jiang yue and yifang some how managed to literally free-ride on the cab cos they were going to town also. Then Sheena the Beena the Cheena came too and also free-rode. Anyway. I had Sheena tell her juniors not to cut our queue. Then I told my Angel to go behind me and queue. But still there were these 2 groups of asses from SN (I think and I mean no offence) who were also cabbing. The first one ran for the bloody cab that actually stopped nearer to us. So we were all quite riled up. Then this second batch of girls upon seeing us screaming and pointing certain indexes at the first group still blatantly started flagging cabs like one of them was pregnant and they were trying to get to KK. Anyway! I decided enough was enough! So I walked up to them just as a cab stopped by the side and as they turned to get in, they caught me staring at them with my palms up as though to warn them of the impending slap if they didnt budge it. Then this girl who was trying to ride shotgun saw me and asked meekly if I wanted to get in first and then I raised my hand up with great speed and power and proceeded to kindly gesture them into the cab with a brilliant smile emanating from my face.

I am damn nice.

Of course yifang, jiangyue and sheez blamed me. Boo.

Anyway! Ares fac dance rocks lah. Haha. Was dancing with yuqin and we managed to tie for first after repeatedly chanting like spoilt brats. But it worked. Haha. Woo. Kegan, nehnehnipupu!

I recieved a nice angbao from my mom's boss. Be nice to me, I may give you the angbaozuoa. =P

t.o.w. ding dong the bitchs' in town!

2006-01-24T21:09:00.000+08:00

Ai. Recently I have grown accustomed to becoming easily irritated by this stupid tweeb and that is not good seeing as how I am generally hard to irritate.

The stipulated asshole likes to irritate me by repeatedly trying to show me up. Of course I don't take it to heart seeing as how I am a nice person and generally don't mind occasional swibes. However! The sheer frequency, generally dead-serious tone and mostly slappable grin that this asshole gives is purely annoying.

Of course I do not deny that the said persona does excel in certain areas (those of which I could hardly give two hoots about) and already I've found a way to accept how the asswipe can go on and on about stuff that I personally bear absolutely no interest in and usually just give the occasional side exclaimation to show that I am 'listening' but the whole act has just gotten a bit stale. And now on top of that I now have to deal with the fact that this shithead believes everything to be beneath him and that he is superior in every field. Of course if the said person were to read this and get the jibe then of course he'll give some shithead grandmother story about how that is not true but we know not to believe that! Hehheh. I feel happy now. I made the absolute hidden snide remark.

The 16PF states that I should open up more and not keep all these feelings bottled up inside me. So there. I am happy with my step out of my bubble.

I think the 16PF is my bible.

And it tells me to call a bitch a bitch.

BITCH!

t.o.w. the 16PF

2006-01-21T16:48:00.000+08:00

According to HOLLAND's (just to please Wenyi) stupid personality test, in the few years down the road, after going through 2 years of MANLY national service and then another 4 years (hopefully) in Columbia majoring in Economics or Finance, I will most probably still end up as a struggling fashion designer living in an apartment studio, with a roommate that drinks all day long and perpetually never gets off his couch, trying to make ends meet.

I say this because the 16PF has apparently identified my deep passion and intrinsic ability to FEEL the intangible values in life and the creative juices that simply seem to emanate effortlessly from my brain. That said, it doesnt seem that shocking that the one and only field that the test feels I'm able to excel in is in fashion. Somehow, I think I did the test just after watching an episode of Runway.

Also! I'm most likely never destined to succeed because any potential employer that reads my 16PF report will most likely show me the finger and then the door. This is because the stupid report made me out to be a extremely-introverted freak who apparently "plays his cards TOO close too his chest" and so while I thank the report for praising the fact that I actually have a chest nice enough to need shielding, the fact is that the report actually postulates that I need COUNSELLING. Oh. And the worst part is the report seems to believe that I will have problems seeking "professional help" because of certain personal tendencies that I may have to explore on my own prior to facing the realities in life.

I won't say the entire report is codswallop, cos its quite accurate in some fields but cant they phrase it nicely? Like for instance they could always say that "Mr Low works well alone and is wise enough not to trust to easily."

Dumb Holland. Oops. That dutch woman who carries an orange bag and has an orange sweater is going to kill me if she sees this.

Anyway. Training today was dumb. Kegan and I found new ways of being dumb. I am glad to have that stupid banana around.

AH AH, AH AH AH, AH AH AH AH AH AH, JUUCEY.

I'm desperate, amazed and still keep idolising but not surviving.

Sometimes I lie on the bed at night and wonder why am I stupid.

t.o.w. open close open turn

2006-01-18T21:02:00.000+08:00

Open close open turn, Open close open turn.
Open turn, Open turn, Open turn, Open!

Yea yea. I learned the last part of the Apollo fac dance today. Kegan was nice enough to teach me and endure my endless demand to keep practicing in front of NJ and the J1 Bowlers. Heh. And I got so riled up then I managed to convert Sheena and Janice and get them to move to the groove too. Haha.

Training today was not bad. At least I was closing some frames, but I still had 2 0/s. I think the worst thing to happen to a bowler is a 0/. Haha. So that means I suck. Heh. Scores were ok, but I seem to be able to bowl better when the J1s were around. After they left, I was like cock. Hah. But I'm still slightly leaning towards thinking that its cos of the effect of food. =D

J1s are quite good! I mean, they can bowl straight I guess. Haha. And my junior youxin is damn zhai. Haha. Yea, I'm quite happy that I have a 74 bowler in the team. And I don't know what Paul is doing because he apparently accepted ALL J1s, which will amount to like 50 people. I don't know how that is going to work out lah. Like we are going to have 2 truckloads of people going to train. I think theres an outside shot that Paul is just trying to grab as many people as he can to keep Victors alive.

Hmm. My junior class is fun! Haha. They came for the dance session today but I had to leave early for training. But I'm damn pissed with that stupid Kegan because he snucked back to the hall w.o telling me. BANANA. You suck.

Went to eat sushi with Wenyi and Chaorong yesterday then I got so bloated. I'm quite amazed that I found the energy to go to Millenia to get my wonka chocs. Haha.

Yep. Yeah. I'm talking to juniors online now. They are fun. Yeps.

Oh. Btw, the randomness day thing by council is cool. Haha.

t.o.w. bets against the heart

2006-01-14T23:12:00.000+08:00

Argh. I slept and played mahjong the whole day. Why why why am I such a slacker.

Anyway, still no indication of rain. I can afford such an extravagant lifestyle.

My entry title sounds country song'ish. Lalala, bets against the heart! THE HEAAAART... Clearly, Underwood's new CD is doing harm to my by large non-country music mentality. But country is quite fun. I like the stories they tell.

Anyway. As I told Wenyi, I'm here to blog about EEEssues.

Chuan Khim, one of my Sec 1s from 04, asked me who I would bet on to win the AO. So I screamed JENNIFER! Which is dumb because she is injured and not playing. But thats another story. I mean, if she was playing, I would have said her name in a heartbeat. But obviously that would not be the clever choice because she obviously wouldnt be in top form seeing as how she hasnt been playing for almost a year and a half now. A choice with better viability would be Clijsters, Henin-Hardenne or Davenport. But lets just propose the notion that Jennifer was indeed playing for the first time in 1.5 years and I had choosen to bet on Lindsay. How the hell would that work out? I don't know if that happens to others on sports betting (I'm guessing quite a bit especially with the soccer hippies). But isnt that betting against my heart. What if Jennifer was to meet Lindsay in the finals. I would be torned between wanting to win the bet (since I'm that competitive) and wanting to see Jennifer win another Grand Slam (since I love her that much). .

Everyone was telling me how dumb I was to keep betting on the US to win matches in the WC 2002. But I still did, match after match.

When we bet against our heart, are we neglecting our emotions for the bet or are we simply putting our eggs in more than one basket?

Quite the enigma. Still, when I watch that AO Open that will probably feature Kim and Davenport, I'd still be supporting my golden girl. =)

t.o.w. im that good

2006-01-14T16:51:00.000+08:00

I shall pray for me to ace both my BTs, my prelims and my A levels and then get my scholarship to study in Columbia.

I'm quite confident I can slack the whole year through and still achieve all that cos' I'm a great prayer.

On thursday night, it was raining just like the past 7 days have and then I decided to pray for the rain to stop so that the J1s can have their war games and I can have my campfire. After that, I went to sleep.

The next day, the sun came out and shone like it never did and it hasnt rained since.

This proves that all I need to do is look solemn, act pitiful and then pray sincerely. Oh. Of course I need to sleep well too.

Anyway. Yesterdays campfire was good! I was running around before that trying to get a CHS uniform that would fit. Then after that had fac judging and 74 came out tops! They rock lah. Haha. Shan Chin and Jiehong really got everyone going. Bit of a logistic problem after that that concerned food so I was very sad cos' I had nothing to eat. Err. Then went for campfire! Quite fun watching the performances and dance. Apollo fac dance may rock but Ares's one tips the scale with all that energy! Haha. Good job Sua and Huiyan. Err. Then after that kept cheering like siao and then joined the juniors for song and dance. Err. On retrospect we might have over-runned the campfire a bit for them. Haha. But thats cos we were too high. Heh. Then ran to the bridge and did the 74 cheer in front of everyone. Haha. 74 rocks lah. A lot of people say their class is fun-loving but I don't really think they use it as a correct adjective then they do for its common usage. 74 is really fun-loving. Always looking to run about and jump and scream. 05s74 rocks. Hopefully the juniors will too.

Yep.

Now, I shall pray for great grades and my scholarship. Goodnight.

t.o.w. it rains all day

2006-01-12T20:27:00.000+08:00

And it still is.

I love rain. Well, at least in moderation. Its cooling and great to sleep in but this wet spell is beginning to suck. Especially since it was raining heavily last night and yet I couldnt sleep because of this freaking chem test we had today. About that, I'm quite happy. Its the first chem test I came out happy. Haha. I better do well. Anyway. The rain sucks for the J1s though. No outdoor games and all that fun. Hopefully it won't rain tomorrow because it would suck to not have war games or an outdoor campfire.

And I still remember all that like it was yesterday.

Hmm. Had fac session today and was teaching the J1s the Fac Dance. Then we practiced more after that and then played frisbee in the central plaza with our shoes off and splashed puddles like we were 2 year old kids. That was quite fun. Haha. Early J2 life doesnt suck as much as I thought it would. Argh. But still, I dread what has to come.

Ehh. Junior class! Haha. Ok, they seem quite fun and enthu and they responded to our Kebabahs. Haha. 74 Kebaba!

I'm suffering from writers block. I don't know what to blog about. This blog faces the threat of extinction. Bah. ARGH. I have GP essay to write tomorrow.

Please don't rain tomorrow.

Life sucks. I Love It.

t.o.w. im lucky lucky

2006-01-07T21:04:00.000+08:00

I just won a lucky draw.

A 1000 piece jigsaw.

I am very excited.

But still I think I should be happy because I never win such draws.

Yeaaaaa. -_-

Anyway. PLEASE JIO ME FOR MOVIE.

King Kong, Derailed, Undiscovered and Family Stone.

I feel constipated.

I think great luck comes with great shit.

Thus, I have no shit to shit.

t.o.w. the super big gulp

2006-01-01T21:51:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year!

God, time really flies. Its been a whole year already and yet I still remember ever so clearly my first day in hwachong. Of all that has come and left, I gather 2005 was a pretty good year. No major mishaps (aka 2002) or immensely bad days (aka 2003). Even though there were some days when I wished things could have been better, I think I managed to come off it alright. Quite the peaceful year though. With the past 2 years, everytime the new year came I felt so overwhelmed that the year was over. Not this year though. It came as a pleasant, nice end.

The year was fun! From Orientation 1 to meeting friends to bowling and badminton recrea to mugging in the reading room to promos to slacking to shanghai and most importantly to OBK. I think I'll always remember 05 to be the year of great friends. I've made many new good ones and still managed to keep in touch with some from the old gang.

I think at the beginning I was still a little lost and then as time passed I just stumbled my way across right up till the very end of the year where I suddenly feel as though I've made some progress in terms of things I've set out to accomplished.

Countdown yesterday was quite lame. We were sitting outside UOB Plaza and someone said it'd be 2 minutes to the new year and then all of a sudden the fireworks from the Esplanade came on and suddenly everyone was cursing that some building was blocking our view so everyone started running towards the fireworks. And then I almost killed the drunken dweebs who sprayed foam on me in an attempt to usher in the new year. Thank god for them that they ran fast enough cos' otherwise I would have ushered the spray cans up their asses. Oh. Then I bought this super big gulp from 7-11 and after drinking the whole thing I puked in my mouth so I took a super big gulp of vomit back in. =) I love me.

So that was a good 2005 anyway. Heres to a great 2006 =)

Of course I dread this year. For obvious reasons. But I sure didnt live for 17 years to come to this point and then give up. I still want to live my american dream in new york. And if that means I'll spend 50% of the year in the reading room then so be it.

Haha. But still I hope I can kick my bad habit of procrastinating and work hard to get the scholarship and maybe do well enough in Nationals to feel like the 2 years in bowling was worthwhile. And of course grow in all faucets to become a better person.

Already the start of the 2006 wasnt too good because I did something that I really regret now and if I could do it all over again I would but I can't and I'm really sorry and I just hope that nothing wrong comes out of it because otherwise I'd be the greatest dweeb in the world.

But yeah. I'm gonna move on and hope for a great 2006!

Before I end off, JENNIFER FOR A CALENDAR GRAND SLAM.

Hurh?

t.o.w. the best experience

2005-12-25T13:40:00.000+08:00

Warning - This entry loads long.

Firstly, Merry Christmas and a Happy Hannukah!

Monica, Monica, have a happy hannukah.
Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross.
Please tell Joey! Christmas will be snowy!
And Rachael and Chandler ladidadididiler!

I love Phoebe.

Anyway, I've done a fair bit of amazing stuff. From chairing the organisation of a 100-strong party back in 2003 to being up at 8000ft on a hot air balloon to other insignificant yet meaning events that have happened over the course of my life. But nothing has and most probably nothing will ever for a very long time compare to the OBK experience. I feel blessed that I was given a chance to go for it. I feel dumb for almost wanting to back out at the very last minute. But mostly I feel thankful for everything that happened and did not happen during the course of the trip. =) Definitely something you should try. Anyway. I'm about to attempt to describe in words the course of events over the past 12 days but I don't think it will be easy. As Sheena said, words cheapen feelings. Hopefully the photos will help.

Day 1 - Midnight Flight to Korea
To think we almost didnt get to leave for Korea promptly because of the KE pilots strike. Anyway I felt like shit on the ride to the airport cos I realised I didnt pack it my watch and face moisturiser. And when I got to the airport I felt worst cos' both Dennis and Sheena werent there and I felt rather lost. Luckily Hsien, Kenneth Tan and Brandon Leong were nice enough to talk to me for a bit. Checked our luggages in and then said our goodbyes and we were off! Hah. Dennis and I were quite stranded after we crossed immigration but the humanities guys were nice enough and included us in. Lulled around the terminal and sat at macs for a while before boarding the ugly plane. Lucked out into pulling a seat next to Dennis and Kenneth Tan. Yea. Otherwise it would have been boring. Anyway. The flight was the first time I came to be acquainted with Mr. Eric. Indubitably, the funniest person I know in this world. Slept a bit on the plane. Reached Incheon International Airport at 6 in the morning.

Kenneths

meeting Eric

Day 2 - Reaching Base Camp
Got on the bus and slept the journey away. Oh. This is Day 1 in my 200 dollar solomon long johns. =D Stopped halfway at this reststop and then started to get to know the humanes ppl better because everyone was joking about how lim en walked straight into the guys toilet without knowing. Ate my baby donuts and koped some of Sheena's soup. Sheena is determined to try every single Korean dish. =D And I mean that in the nicest possible way. =D

Stopped a little bit later for a Korean lunch. I'm not a big fan of Korean food but I cherished the fact that it would be the last decent meal for a while.

Finally reached base camp after a 3 hour bus ride and a trek across a bridge.

Got split into groups and I was in Chainsaw. Initially I was like wtf, cos both Sheena and Dennis were in the other group, Pigs. Argh. But never mind, got settled in soon enough. Here are the Chainsaws!

Kenneth Tan

Hsien

Edwin

Kaisiong

Eric

Matthew

Jieyu

Gracia Vera

Estelle

Pamela

Alicia

Yiting

Lim En

Joyce

Winnie (teacher chaperone)

Our group instructors were Song and Ari but Song was MIA for quite a bit so I guess I regard my dearest Ari as the main instructor. Shes a damn good person. Shes gently strong and powerfully finessed'.

I love Ari.

Ari loves me

Anyway. We got our gear and then started pitching out tents. Shared a tent with hsien, edwin and kaisiong.

Then we got into the main tent and started cooking dinner. A very sad dinner. Spam, rice and kimchi soup (which I hate). After that we had a group sharing session and they asked us why we were here. All time low during the camp, didnt really know anyone well, I was freaking cold at -6 degrees and I was damn tired. I wanted to go home. Boo.

Day 3 - Kenneth on Ice
Did rappelling, a mini flying fox and a traverse across a frozen river. Haha. I lucked out into being one of the earlier ones to complete the traverse so I got in loads of time to skate on the river with my salomon boots which are a bore to wear by the way. They are highcut, so even though I've done a lot of demanding stuff during the trip, the hardest thing I had to do everyday in the morning was to put on the pair of freaking boots. Anyway, we got harnessed up and then had a lot of fun in the rope courses. More so on the frozen river where we engaged in senseless territorial ice shaving fights and ridiculous efforts to try and break the ice layer and even more futile attempts to spot fishes through the clear ice.

The infamous salomon boots

Then we had a mini trek around the base camp to look at the Korean Outdoors and its a LOT of leaves. Lots of clambering and climbing and sliding as we did a 6k trek. The terrain was quite ok just that some parts were a little slippery. I think I slipped and almost rolled my ankle. I remember cramping on my right thigh too after trying to jump over a log. Heh. I am fat, podgy and unfit. Anyway, pictures along the mostly easy trek. It is very safe to judge the difficulty level of that day's trek by the amount of photos I have to offer.

Limen broke this off with her bare hands.

We all love Ari

At the halfway mark

At the end of the trek

Day 4 - Lost!
We were supposed to play this silly game of navigation in the Korean wilderness. And I had thought that with 4 years of learning how to play with that damn silva compass, I'd be able to navigate with ease. Quite the opposite. I didnt even remember how to set the map. To think I yelled at my sec 1s for not knowing how. Boo. =( Anyway. We got quite hopelessy lost cos' we had to climb up this uber steep trail and we didnt really know what we were doing. We were following rafia strings like the bible cos' we thought they marked out the trail but they were actually signs to show farmers where good mushrooms were growing. Heh. Ari rocks. She led us out of the deep mountains. Its almost as if she lived there, she would make turns and spot paths that we never would have and she knew exactly how to get back to camp even though we were hopelessly lost. Yep. But I remembered feeling bad about the trip cos I felt drained and I was dreading the even worst 3 day expedition that would soon follow.

Nice, meaningful pic

Day 5 - Last Breath on the Stairway to Heaven
Expedition Day! Argh. Woke up real early to unpitch our tents and then caught a local bus to the base of the mountain. Some idiot spread word that it would be a 16k hike up the mountain and I almost threw that asswipe off the peak. It turned out to be ONLY 10k. Heh. But yeah. The first 1k was easy cos' we just trekked up the main road then my sunglasses broke unceremoniously so my poor pupils were left without protection. The next 4-5k was not too bad, a lot of bridges to cross and the incline wasnt too bad yet. Then after a while the incline got really bad and someone spread word that we were just 1k away and once again I almost killed the person cos we soon found out we had another 3k left. Of which, 2 were steep. Stairway to Heaven as we aptly called it. The last 2 k was 2 kilometers of stairs. Not nice metal/concrete stairs but mountain stairs. Terraced in to take the shape of stairs. Each step was equivilant to 3 normal steps on the staircases we use so often. The terrain was rough and rocky so after a while we resorted to using our hands to clamber up. I almost died I tell you. TWO FRIGGIN KILOMETERS OF STAIRS. Come to think of it, it really was quite dangerous cos I had about a 1 meter space to walk (or waddle with that stupid 15kilo backpack) and on either sides of me were steep slopes down so if I fell I would probably die. And there were a lot of trees too so I don't see how a helicopter (as promised by the insurance company) could possibly airlift me out. And the worst part was we only had one instructor who practically ran up the stairs like there was a pot of hot kimchi waiting for him. So all of us were panting in keeping up with him so much so that some of us had cramps. I think I cramped up about 3 times during the whole expedition as we climbed up to an elevation of 1400m from a mere 50m. I never knew till then that if you walk out a cramp, it will go away. Haha. So yep. Then we finally met the notorious mountain man and we all felt damn relieved after the draining 8 hour trek up the friggin steep mountain. I still cant believe we made it all the way up in 1 day. Then when I finally reached the mountain hut, the expected feeling of a great magnificent triumph did not come. All I felt was a sense of relief. The mere thought that the trek was over and that I was safe was overwhelming. No time for mental rest though. As the sun went down, it soon got freaking cold and I remember shaking in the mountain kitchen hut with Kenneth Tan because I really could not feel my fingers nor toes and I was so afraid that I would lose them to frostbite. The pigs started streaming in about a half an hour after us in intervals and in groups. One thing that I'm uber proud of chainsaw was that no matter how slow we got because people were pulling us back, we stuck together as a team and waited it out and completed the whole thing as a team. Right. It was just a physically and emotionally stressed day. Ate our MREs which are these really cool boxes that have a heating pack in it so all you do is pull the tab and the food turns hot instantaneously. Drank hot choc' too. We slept in this small mountain hut so about 30 of us had to squeeze into this friggin 5m x 4m room. Imagine the squeeze. It was also so cold that my moisturiser froze up. Just as I got into my sleeping bag I realised how that at desperate times, the poor side of the human spirit really shows. I mean, some guys took the wooden bunks even before some of the girls arrived the hut so some of them ended up sleeping in the floor. Some would refuse to try to make space. It really was a 'I'-mode out there. I managed to force my way up to the wooden bunk cos there was no more space on the floor. I hated everyone that night except for Ari of course cos' she really was cool in making sure everyone had a spot to sleep in. I distinctly remember being the 2nd last person to find a sleeping spot. Not that I blame anyone, I just guess its how humans behave. If I had managed to secure an early spot on the bunk, I probably wouldnt have given it up in that fucking cold. For the record, it was a freaking -16 degrees that night. I hate the mountain hut. Physically draining day.

Final checks

View along the way

On the Stairway to Heaven

Entrance to the hell hole mountain hut

Day 6 - Minus 25!
Woke up in the friggin cold and everyone just moved very slowly cos I guess no one wanted to leave the hut and go out into the morning cold. But we had to wake up early to trek to the very summit, which was about a 5 mins walk away to catch the sunrise. Now that was nice. First the sky was a very nice shade of blue and at the horizon it was a little yellow. Then in mere seconds, it turned into orange and then this great big ball of magnificent fire just blew up and rose in a matter of seconds. Beautiful. =)

View from the summit

Zhuai picture of KS thanks to great photography skills belonging to Kenneth the Magnificent

Kicthen Quarters

Vappys delirious from the cold

The trek wasnt that bad. It was short, about 4k. And the terrain though tough to negotiate at times was still manageable. One thing that bothered me a whole lot was the twigs though. They grew into the trail so I was getting twig-slapped every 2 minutes. Ouch. Anyway. We reached the highest point of elevation of the expedition at this really pretty meadow. The wind was pretty strong so everyone kinda huddled together and pressed on.

Chainsaw and Pigs

Finally reached Camp 2. Now Camp 2 is nothing like the mountain hut or base camp. It is friggin cold and there were no buildings to seek shelter from the winds. And we had to pitch our tents on snow so that meant sleeping on cold icy snow. Argh. Anyway, after we did pitch our tents, it started to snow. So everyone just went into the main tent and tried to keep warm with Little Sun and the stove's fire. Halfway through dinner I remember my feet feeeling wet and I was afraid to death that I would wake up the next morning without my toes. After dinner we just sat around singing christmas songs since it was fitting. It was FREAKING cold. Halfway I decided I had to bomb the toilet even though I told myself at the start of the expedition that I would not expose my tush to the freaking cold. But I was pleasantly surprised when I reached the toilet tent. The seat was extremely comfortable and most of the wind was blocked out. The seat was leather-lined and even though the stench was gross, the comfort that my tush gained from the leather seat more than made up for it. There was even a small little pocket in the tent-lining to place toilet paper and other necessities like my glove and trusty headlamp that shone light into the bomb bin. Someone made a very large poop just before I did and I had a rather nice view of it. Very nice tent indeed. I think we all slept at 9pm cos we had nothing to do since we reached base camp at 3, ate at 5 and started getting tired of singing at 8. That night it was minus 25 and all I had were my 2 sleeping bags and my silly tent. I placed my heat packs in my socks though for fear of frostbite but they started burning a hole in my socks midway through the night so I had them removed. I think I kicked Kaisiong in the processed and might have elbowed Edwin too.

Snowing!

Sleeping on snow

My favourite tent

Experimenting with my MEGA O.I.S that I didnt know my cam had

Day 7 - 70mph winds
Day 3. I promised myself halfway through the freezing cold night that I will not get out of my sleeping bag lest the temperature goes above -10. Even though it was around -15, I still had to pull myself up and 1. freeze in the shit cold, 2. put on my jacket that had ice in it, 3. roll up TWO sleeping bags (which is not fun to do at all in a hot climate, much less at friggin -15), 4. put on my shoes that had frozen up on the outside, and 5. clamber out of the "warm" tent into the freaking cold for breakfast. Ate beijing mian for breakfast and that was real good. Haha. It tasted like Hokkien Noodles. Yum. Even though we brought oranges, no one wanted to eat them because they were 1. frozen, and 2. hard as ice (which would make sense sering as they were frozen, but nvm.)

Began the final day of expedition. First part wasnt too bad, cos we were hiking back to where we came from for about an hour and a half. Then my most beloved Ari told us we were on our own and we had to find our way to the destination on our own. Boo. I honestly felt like that was the last time I would have seen Ari ever again. I imagined all of us falling of a steep cliff or getting hopelessly lost and meeting a korean cannibal that would kill us because all we could offer him was Kidos. Anyway. The first 15 minutes of that track wasnt so bad and we were dumb enough to be singing TSOM songs like that one with "the hills are alive..." Yea. Cos once we left the forested area, the hills really got alive. To one side of us was this freaking expansive hill and the wind was coming at us at 70kmph and we had no protection whatsoever. So every step we took, we took with much difficulty cos I've heard from my most unfortunate friend that at those speeds, the winds were not unlike speeding cars coming at you. So we trudged ahead, everyone huddled together and tried to push forward. Then for a while the wind died down and we came to this y-fork and we all thought we would finally be able to curse and swear at the friggin wind and actually be heard. But the wind picked up again and we took the wrong turn at the y-fork and this mild sand storm started blowing sand into our faces so I was inhaling sand with every breath and I had to look down at my feet cos' otherwise the bloody sand would have hit me in the eye and I had no sunglasses (if you remember from Day 1 of the expedition) to shield me from this ghastly weather. God Mother of Friggin Bollocks! So this was hard. Having to find out we were on the wrong trek and having to hike back (uphill, mind you) for about 45 minutes in the friggin sand storm and having been overtaken by the pigs felt even worse. Everyone (I assume, even though Hsien was still able to carry 2 bagpacks) was havig problems on their own with the freaking weather. And for the first time, I felt humbled by Mother Nature. Like I haven't experienced first hand any natural disasters and I did expect the cold when I signed up for this but the wind! We were hiking against the wind so that made things harder and there were times when each step I took to the left, I would end up walking to the right. Even the breaks were to die for, literally. Cos' even though we tried to find a spot with shelter from the wind, at best all we could do was a small ledge to hide under. And still the sand would end up blowing into your food and every other open orifice your face had to offer. While some others tried to walk together and talk about stuff to try and forget about the bloody winds. The rest, including myself, choose to face this ordeal solitarily. Not that we were freaking loners but had anyone come up to me with a joke during that freaking time I would have manhandled the person down the hill. Whats more, I didnt see how I could talk when my mouth was covered by the jacket hood flaps that was dirty and grotesquely looked like it had fungi growing on it. I was NOT going to open my mouth. So all I did for about 3 hours was walk with my face down, staring at this area about the size of a toilet bowl and trying my damn'est to put one foot before the other. To try to psyche myself up, I would hum dumb songs like South Park's Karl's Mum A Bitch or sing stupid songs in my head. I even came up with this stupid rap that included beatboxing at one time about how I would reach the freaking destination and for the first time be able to wash the grime off my body and be able to wash my hair.

That went on till we reached this downhill portion with a building in front of us. The pigs had just arrived so even though we felt lousy losing the final trek to them having won on most occasions, we felt relieved that we were finally there and that we had made up some time. Just as we reached the building, the pigs gathered around and started cheering for us and had Sheena and Dennis not be in pigs, I would have started cheering about every possible type of pork dish available. Nyeh. Haha. I'm not a good loser. Anyway. The pigs started doing stretching exerices and Ari (who suddenly appeared and made all my muscle cramps and aches go away) led us to the back of the building where we thought the entrance would be. But she led us further down the road and told us that we another 1km to go! All of a sudden, we were rejuvenated and after 3 cold hard days and having trekked a total of 22km of mountaineous terrain, we still managed to break into a semi-run down the hill.

Then when we finally reached the destination, I remember feeling empowered. Like I could do anything in this world! Except maybe give birth or do the entire expedition ever again. That I think I will not be able to do again in this life. Haha. But anyway, we checked into the resort-like place. Now I had envisioned the place to have a common room for everyone and separate common bathrooms for guys and girls. But the place was a freaking godsend and everyone was chumming about how the entire shit-ass expedition was worth it when we got into the rooms because the place was about the size of a 3-room HDB, had heated parquet floors, had 3 rooms, a living room and a kitchen and had a BLOODY TOILET. Of course, all this was before we actually got into the bathroom and attempted to bathe. I bunked in with Jieyu, Matthew, Eric and Edwin. We took turns to bathe and even though the shower was a godsend, I now might have gone without it because the water was freaking cold! I remember the first 5 seconds of my unforgettable shower had hot boiling water and I was dumb enough to turn it down. Cos then, I never got my hot water back ever again. Instead the water was icy cold, so I had to turn it off. I started trembling and I crouched over and put my knees together and started shaking like a polaroid picture. Nyeh. But I was really freaking cold, never before have I ever felt so cold. So after 5 minutes of trembling in the cold during which I honestly felt like I had gone mad with the trembling like I had entered hypothermia or something like that and I remembered telling myself I was a great big idiot to complete the expedition and then die in the shower. ARGH! But anyway, I decided to brave the icy cold waters and started soaping myself so I would have no chance but to shower up. The saddest revelation came after I washed my hair and twenty million strands of hair came out. I almost died. Bah. Anyway, after a bit of acclimatisation, the water became bearable and I stepped out of the toilet, for the first time in 6 days, presentable. =)

In retrospect, the best thing the resort had to offer was not the shower, but space. After so many nights of having to stuff my belongings into the bag cos I only had a space of about a toilet bowls area to pack, I finally had SPACE. And to a high-strung organised freak like me, this was the best present Santa could give. I laid my things out one by one as though they were on display. I couldnt control it and this huge wide grin just came out of my face. It was a melting pot of emotions. Relief. True Happiness. Empowerment. Its funny how after an outdoor course, the simplest things like a shower or space can make one truly happy. Anyway. We went for dinner which was about a 600m walk away at this restaurant. And we were served hot food that had no grass in it. I was a happy happy man. After dinner, we bought stuff from this convenience store so while everyone made a mad dash for the chips and noodles and what not. I made the obvious choice of COKE. Even though it did cost 2.50 for a small 600ml bottle. Every sweet sip was spritually scintillating. Ahh. =D

Now that the expedition was over, I must give special mention and credit to my toes. While my shoulders were strained from the heavy bag, it was my feet that were really killing me after each day of the expedition and we got to take off our shoes and rest our feet. To wear the shoes in the morning is one thing, but to have to take them off after walking 9k of mountaineous terrain is even worst. And after that, every step I took without my shoes I would utter a single profanity. That said I exhausted my collection pretty soon. But thankfully, I did toe clenching sessions everynight before I slept during the expedition and that saved me a whole lot. So thank you toes!

Back to civilisation. We watched football but trust me I felt like killing my roommates when I heard Friends was on.

Packing flurry

As compared to this amount of space

Stupid Boots

Food without grass

Chainsaw guys with Song

Worlds Apart

Day 8 - Orange peels, gloves and dogs.
Woke up in the resort and then packed up for basecamp. Ate breakfast where we had dinner and then took a bus back to basecamp. The bus journey was bad. It was very hot and stuffy because the idiot driver refused to turn down the heater and the journey had lots of bends so most of us felt like puking. But anyway, finally reached base camp. Pitched our tents and participated in a game of frisbee where I think I knocked Edwin's nose of with my superb throwing skills. Then we had solo where we were supposed to sit down and reflect on the trip and our life thus far in the outdoors. That was quite fun. We all recieved letters from home and we all wrote letters to ourselves that we would recieve 6 months later. That was quite fun. I remember sitting against a rock while writing and then I saw how comfortable Hsien was lying face down so I did the same.

The funniest thing happened though. The dogs at basecamp (really freaking cute dogs that I adore and that speaks volumes given how I'm not a dog person) started playing with Hsien cos' they were trying to get his gloves out of his hand. And when it finally did succeed, it ran off with the glove in mouth and streaked to where the other dogs were and they proceeded to snatch for the glove. All these while Hsien got up and started shouting every single profanity available to the great entertainment of all others near him. We werent supposed to speak during Solo so it was really very quiet and that whole act was quite bemusing. Heh. That pesky little dog tried to tackle my orange peel away but I promptly scared it off by growling at it. I think I would make a great dog. =)

Anyway, in the evening, we had to plan for this stupid skit encompassing all that we've been through during the camp. But yeah. That whole thing was quite blah since all we did in the end was to laugh at Eric and his silly stories. Quite the blah night.

Day 9 - Confessions Night

Woke up and made breakfast and then caught a local bus to this fishing village. Walked around the seafood market for a bit and then bought some stuff like chocs and cuttlefish. Broke off the main group who were looking in vain for squid and scallops with Jieyu, Pam, Estelle and Edwin to search for good crab. Sadly, we didnt end up buying any and the rest managed to get their squids. Argh.

Got back to base camp and everyone started taking pictures like crazy. More pics of other people.

David Lim

Alex Tan

Dennis

Yingxuan

And this is a pic of the pee place =)

Got our certificates from our friends. That was quite special. Then proceeded to cook our last dinner in the main tent. Myself, Gracia and Estelle took up the huge responsibility of cooking soup. It actually means stirring the soup powder in boiling water. Heh, but the soup was good! Ate quite a bit plus the peaches that we had saved for the last meal. Cleaned up a bit and then had campfire. Campfire was quite sian cos no one was singing campfire songs except for me, Jieyu and Estelle so that got quite boring. Then everyone broke off into small little groups and were talking on their own for a bit and Estelle was complaining that her tent only had 2 people. I personally don't see how that was a bad thing, I would have throwed 2 ppl out of my tent on any given day just to get more space. Haha. Then all of a sudden Lim En pulls me aside to tell me of the latest happenings in camp that I was oblivious to because come on, in the freaking cold, I really wasnt going to bother about who was into who or who was not. SURVIVAL CAMP people. Only some people turn it into a Rob and Amber like romance fairytale. Heh. So I remember going into the sleeping bag while talking to Kaisiong about how we were so glad we were not involved in either of the 2 big hoohahs. Haha. 2 of us slept quite early while everyone bustled around the tent area full of unspeakable missions. Quite a night to be in especially if you are watching it from outside the complications.

But I'd still have taken my sleeping bag anytime.

Day 10 - Dootadong and Pyounghwamon
Woke up and returned all our gear and then said a very sad goodbye to my dearest Ari. Quite a stupid day lah cos' we had this long bus journey back to Seoul. Sat with Gracia Vera aka Maybank and we were being dumb and talking about silly stuff and sleeping. Anyway. Nothing much at all. Arrived at the Coop Apartments around noon. Ate a sushi meal before checking in. Err. I still don't like Korean Food. Anyway, we had 4 to a room at the Coop Apartments which is kind of a cool studio apartment with one and a half floors. Yea. I remember walking to my unit thinking I was at the Atlas Apartments in New York. Heh. I love Jay.

Anyway. Went shopping at this prime Orchard Road like area but didnt really buy squat cos everything was damn ex. Bought this fried bread with hotdog and fries though, that didnt taste good but looked really enticing. Oh. Then we went to have icecream at this place thats decorated with postit notes. Alicia left a love note for Kihyum that I imagine he will one day find and then revoke his license to be gay and come to Singapore to ask her for her hand in marriage. Then had dinner and I was really freezing cos I didnt think it would be cold and I didnt bring my down. The stuff in Korea is freaking ex lah and they refuse to bargain with anyone. I was quite sad. Anyway. After that we went to this shopping place called Doota and the shopping was much better. At least I managed to get a pair of jeans for 2/3s of its actual retail price. Would have made better buys if only we had more time. Was quite pissed when I found out Doota was opened till 5am and all we did was be dumb and waste time in the Coop Apartments.

Anyway. Went back to bathe in real hot water (for the first time in the entire trip) and then went for our orange party. I think I peeled like 20 plus oranges but no one really ate any. Err. Then slept for a bit.

Quite the insipid day.

Loads of pics though.

At lunch

Atlas Apartments

Vappys Shopping

The Love Note

By the way. My name is Dootadong.

Day 11 - The Ties That Bind
Last day! Woke up then rushed to buy Dunkin' Donuts. Walked about 10 minutes to the shop and bought about 10 donuts. I should have bought a whole lot more cos' they were gone in like 2 days. Anyway. Rushed back to pack everything up then left for the airport. Sat with Mr. Eric on the bus and we were looking at pictures and reflecting on everything that had happened and did not happen over the last 10 days. Quite a nice coversation.

Reached the airport and checked in our stuff then went for a last Korean meal with the HC humanities people and Dikai at this restaurent. I didnt really enjoy my beef soup cos it tasted too much like Kimchi. Instead, I managed to get my hands on this awfully expensive but incredibly tasting cheese steak burger from BK (ahh, BK!) and that was good. The best burger ever albeit it being a bit cold and compressed from the cabin pressure on the plane.

Talking about the plane. It sucks. You'll see why later. Anyway. Sat next to Lim En and we were playing blackjack or rather I was playing with myself cos I helped her called the cards. Haha. Then erm, watched Skyhigh on the flight too! Yea! Steven Strait! Haha. Yea. Nothing much lah. The only memorable event was probably the significance in the changing out of the salomon long johns. 11 DAYS in that long johns! Heh. I think I set a record. Yep. Thats about it. Talked a bit to jiamin on the plane too.

Then we came back to Singapore and that was about it!

I miss Winnie

Freaking Ugly Plane

But at least they didnt card me for wine

This is lame but this is at takeoff

and this is at landing

Yep yep! Loads of people to thank for the amazing experience. Sheena (without whom, I would not have signed up), Dennis, Hsien, Kenneth Tan, Brandon, Kaisiong, Edwin, Jieyu, Eric, Matthew, Gracia, Lim En, Yiting, Joyce, Pamela, Estelle, Alicia, Winnie, Alex Tan, David Lim, my dearest Ari and just about everyone else who played a part in OBK! It's been a helluva journey and I've learnt a lot of stuff about myself and others and also made great friends. (Evident, seeing as how we've met up for prata, icecream, christmas, sentosa, movie and new year's eve over the past few days) Couldnt have done it any other way.

The non-perfect path we took was perfect enough. =)

Find me one unhappy face and I'll find you a person who

obviously does not know to smile for the camera.

Hope you had a great 2005!

t.o.w. the uneasiness

2005-12-12T19:25:00.000+08:00

Ahh!!

In 35 minutes I will embark on the journey of a lifetime! I really want the trip to be fun and enriching and hopefully I'll find some sort of a personal breakthrough in the mountains of Korea. But I can't help feeling apprehensive and uneasy about the dangers of the camp. Frostbite, avalanches, snow glares, snow blinds, snow wolves and other shit stuff to worry about. THE WILDERNESS!

But I guess all I'll need to do is to be a good boy and listen to instructions. Then I should come home safe with all 4 limbs intact. =) Wish me luck.

Anyway. Danni won Survivor. I think its amazing how survivor is into its 11th season. And the fact that I've watched all 11 X 16 episodes is even more amazing. Quite happy that Danni won just cos' Stephanie really was a bitch this season, especially to Lydia. Haha. My sweet cute Lydia who speaks spanish. Porfavor, Lydia!. I can't believe she has a son my age. I almost had a crush on my dearest fishmonger.

Err. Ok. I need to pack, bathe and change in 30 minutes!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! KOREA!

t.o.w. midnight movies and rude bitches

2005-12-11T15:20:00.000+08:00

Ai. I'm back from my 2 day stay at The Plaza, New York.

It was a great experience to finally have been able to walk through the great doors of what most definitely is one of the best hotels in the world. The service was excellent and the ambience, awesome. I felt great magnificance and grandeur as I stepped through the double-oaked revolving doors and took heart to the fact that I was finally in The Plaza. As I proceeded to walk through the hallway, a wall suddenly appeared and I bumped my head walking straight to it. I opened my eyes and found myself sprawled on the floor in my hotel room at Raffles - The Plaza, Singapore.

Sad indeed. But that hotel in New York really rocks my socks lah. It was damn nice. I had some pics taken last year but I don't know where they are now. In comparison, the version in Singapore is hardly acceptable. First and foremost, the rooms were not even fully carpeted. The management instead choose to showcase their hardwood parquet floors that though some may see as an effort to reek elegance, actually mostly spells "cheap" in caps and bold. Secondly, the toilet was barely furnished. The WC, bath and common areas were separated by glass panels that hardly served a purpose and the amenities provided were most fundamental and insipid. The service needs a whole chapter by itself. So we were walking around the Amrita just to take a look and this fucked up black shithead bitch calls out to us like this, "Hey, are you looking for someone?" She must have skipped courtesy training for bitch rehearsals that day in hotel management cos' one simply does not greet guests as HEY. A pleasant Good Morning or even a Hello would have been adequate. Next she proceeded to fire questions at us, asking us for our motives and even second-guessing our answers. In her own words, they cant afford to have "people running around" like that. Very well, lady. We arent good enough for your place. You better own Amrita, you bitch, cos I'm going to every single travelocity referral site to slam your fucking pothole down. =) Tatas.

Anyway. So thats that. Err. Didnt do much during the 2 days except eat good food, watch lost and play on my xbox. Oh yah. Watched Noel at PS at 215am and that ended at 4am. We made new friends by watching the show with 8 other strangers and doing the chicken little dance together. Noel is quite good. Theres Susan Sarandon and Paul Walker. Quite a nicely themed show about helping and caring. Should catch it. 21 movies since 27 Dec 2004! 3 more to go! Heh. Err. Oh yah. Did the tennis video too but couldnt burn. Yep.

Err. That's about all. More packing to do for Korea. Remember folks, never patronise Amrita - Bitches Only.

t.o.w. the chrismukkah wishlist

2005-12-08T23:02:00.000+08:00

Dear Santa,

I am a sad stupid impressionable 17 year old boy who dreams of big things to own but has very little to offer in exchange for them. All I have is this outlet to plead you to take pity on my very grave existence and hopefully you will wish good things on me as chrismukkah gifts and will deliver them down the elevator shaft together with Rudolph. I have heard many a song about the famed reindeer and would love to meet him. Though I do not have heineken to offer you after such a long journey away from the very hot Mrs Claus, I hope you will grant me this chrismukkah wish. I will then be a very happy boy.

1. OTH Season 2 DVDs.
Not out yet but available on EBAY and Yahoo Auctions. Around 100 Sing. You need not scroll down any further if you decide to buy this for me. This will be the single best gift anyone can offer.

2. OC Season 2 DVDs
Not out yet but again available online. Not really a huge fan but since I've watched Season 1, I would like to see what happens. =)

3. OC Season 1 DVDs
As much as I've said that OC can never really bring to the table what OTH does, it still has its plus points like the very inspiring and comical performance by Peter Gallagher, Kristy Rowan and Adam Brody. Have watched it, but would really like to OWN it. 67.95 at HMVs. =)

4. OTH 2006 Wall Calendar
Lucas, Peyton, Brooke, Nathan and Haley. =) 19.95, I think.

5. OC 2006 Wall Calendar
Ryan, Marissa, Summer, Seth, Sandy, Kirsten, Julie, Anna, Luke and Jimmy.

6. Friends 2006 Wall Calendar
Just to show that we all still miss them very much and would like a 11th Season. Rachel, Ross, Monica, Chandler, Joey and my dearest Phoebe.

7. The OC album.
Songs are good. Especially Cali 2005. They should do another cover as New York 2005. Sales will jump three-fold. 19.95. =)

8. Jeans from a PS basement shop that I can't remember the name now
Rather ripped and nice cuffs. =) 69.95

9. Shirt on mannequin from The Otherside in Cine.
Its white with green cuffs. Buy me my first shirt with a tinge of green. Didnt check out the price.

10. Sports Visor.
As my new stylist said, I can wear a visor to go with my new cut. I shall take his advice very seriously. Will also come in handy for tennis lessons too. 24.95 =)

11. 20G External Memory Drive.
Very important because my stupid computer only has FOUR GIG worth of space in it. I have to delete old songs to make way for new ones. Very sad indeed. My freaking mp3 player has 5 times the memory of my desktop.

12. Wireless LAN in my house.
Given that I have found a laptop to use now, this seems highly useful. 250.00

13. Nice shirts from topman.
Went there today and their new collection is good. One shirt will do. 43 bucks.

14. Running Shoes.
I would like to keep fit for the viewing pleasure of the community. Please help the Kenneth HotBod Cause. 130.00

15. Argentina and Spain jerseys
Not that I'm a football fan but given how there are no tennis country jerseys and how much I want to express my support for Gaudio and Nadal, I have no other choice. =)

16. Nice brownish punkish square wallet.
I find mine too old and mature for a young innocent boy like me. I still think Paris Hilton to be the Hilton Hotel in Paris. However, I am old enough to know that Chanel is not a spelling mistake of channel. Please do not buy me boy boy rectangular wallets with velcro.

That's all Santa. Actually there are more clothes that I want but I don't wish to ask for too much. I know of many other kids who are less privileged than me and maybe you could pay them a visit too, after you stop by at my house of course. I'm on the second floor, so you may find it easier to take the elevator up the shaft instead of chimneying down.

Thank you santa, I promise to be a very good boy.

Love, Kenneth.

--

Hey. Anyway. Watched Pride and Prejudice with Shiqi today. It was quite good lah. I enjoyed it a little more than I would have at any other movie. I also watched Prime. Bryan Greenberg aka Jake Jaglieski from OTH did a good job and I finally understand the great big hullaballo about Meryl Streeip. She is really good.

Went to cut hair today. My stylist's name is WINKY and my washer's name is WINSTON. HAH. Then ate salad at breeks with ronald who has lost a bunch of weight. I am rather jealous.

Oh yah. Fell down again during training. I hate yishun lah. Thank god it isnt the venue for nationals anymore. Haha. I hope my "bruused" knee will not hinder me. Took my flub jab today. Apparently there are less than 20 islandwide and my mum's friend has 5. Haha. I should have sold mine on ebay for cold hard cash.

Anyway. After the movie with shiqi, we were faking british mannerisms. Quite interesting. Read her blog to find out more. Check it here.