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hello couch potatoes,

the plus-shaped cursor turns on channel me.

the green button takes you to the tagboard

and the brown round one turns on archives and exits.

happy surfing,

Sunday, February 25

t.o.w. i dug myself a hole and filled it up

WHOA.

The past 2 weeks have been haunting. I kinda dug myself into a bit of mess but I'm glad thats over and done with now. I've been thinking and now I know that all this while I've just been an ass to the people around who support me and want me to do well and to myself. I think I let down the Kenneth that climbed the mountains in Korea in the bitter cold and I think I'd be ashamed to face the Kenneth that organised the YEP throughout all that personal shit. I need to finish what I set out to do and I need to finish it properly. For the people around me who love me and care for me and who wholeheartedly want to see me through this while being there for me to be proud of me. I need to do this for them and I need to this for myself. And above all, I need to do this for the lovely woman I call mum, for she has been my rock all these while and she deserves better.

I've been grappling a bit about what kind of life I have now. It's so different not waking up to go to school or being around academia and having so little freedom and personal time. And for a long while I guess I was just in a rut trying to figure out how to cope with that. But now I know there isnt time for that. This is the life I have now. And I guess it comes with good and bad but theres no changing it. And I guess accepting it is the only way to cope with it. Hiding behind a TAG no less isnt going to make things go back the way things were. So this is it. And that's all it is.

So I have a little more than 2 weeks left now. And I can tell you the way I feel about this entire experience is so different from the way I felt just 2 weeks ago. I want to finish what I started properly.

I want to fill up my hole till theres a little hump and step on the dirt and force my flagpole in to say I conquered this.
kenn thwacked an asshat munchkin' at 3:33 PM