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hello couch potatoes,

the plus-shaped cursor turns on channel me.

the green button takes you to the tagboard

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happy surfing,

Sunday, July 30

t.o.w. the motivational entry

Damn is this place rusty.

I need to get used to it though. Given how I am so motivated to study and my impeccable study plan, I don't see how I'm going to be able to divest any time from that to here anyway. But yeah. This entry will serve to point out how much I need to study whenever I'm feeling lazy and/or sleepy.

I hate rust btw. Just today when I was filing my stuff I realised my GP file was rusting a little so I took it all out and replaced the entire file. Oh, and the tide really is changing. I think my fear of lizards is subsiding somewhat. Granted I still jump up whenever they run off but I have become accustomed to seeing this pregnant dark brown lizard hanging out on my phone adaptor. I figured it needs the warmth for its fetuses so I shant prod it too much, not that I would dare to do it anyway even though the thought of having many tiny baby lizards creeping around my study table creeps me out a tad bit. Oh well.

Anyway! Yes. Study hard people. I know I need to. Now that I fully know what I want and what I need to do to get there, I really need to work. And I must say, its going quite alright these couple of days. On Monday after DH, I wanted to go to bed but then I saw the star spangled banner that I have fluttering on my calendar to remind me how important time is and then I decided to be good and study more. If I keep this up, I am going to rock this world. =D

Of course I need to know I'm working for the right reason. Working for the life I have always wanted in the city and country that I have always wanted to be a part of. Working for the future that will present immense opportunities for growth in all tangible/intangible aspects. Working for the responsibility of living on my own that comes along with the elusive dangling freedom and liberation carrot. Working for the many plenty bonds that I will form during the course of the hopefully never-ending experience. And of course, working to realise my american dream.

Its nice when you phrase it like that. But damn is it going to be hard. 4 months of sellout hardwork and I really don't know if I have what it takes to keep going all the way. I'm no marathoner. Still, I try and no matter what happens if one day I have to ever look back at the entire process and go "at least I tried my best", then I want this entry to serve as a reminder that I indeed gave it my all and that no "coulda been" will ever haunt me for the rest of my life.

It pains me to say that because it pumps reality into the dream. And the fact is that if I don't do well enough to get accepted or get a scholarship then the dream just might stay a deam. The world sucks because now I know that no matter how hard you try and how much you put in, you really need to luck out at times. But of course, there is no point in talking about luck and whether its here or not if I don't have the results to bid for luck at all.

Fine then! Work your butt off, Kenneth!

Just keep trucking, just keep trucking!
kenn thwacked an asshat munchkin' at 9:34 PM