televisions' life support

Tuesday, October 25

t.o.w. the ability to record cable

Yea yea. I'm damn happy.

I can finally record cable. Haha. Thanks to my brilliant mind, I found out how to connect the recorder to the SCV cable box. Apparently its chicken-feet. Haha. I must have been dumb in the past. But I can't seem to record another cable channel while watching another. Does anyone know how?

Anyway. The doctors medicine is working wonders. I now crap shit full-time. I was so happy I almost jumped up from the toilet seat while making the rather large solid poop. Yeaaa. Muaha. But it appears that I'm now flu-ey. I hate my sinus'ed nose. AHH.

K Nvm. Went home early today, cos I see no point in attending a maths lecture while sneezing half the time but mainly cos I didnt want to stay till 4.40 la. Its the bloody admins fault for prepping such a lousing exam schedule. Haha. No school for me tomorrow too. =)

So what do we do when we have nothing to do? Whye, you watch tv of course!

Hmm. Based on my numerous hours of tv viewership, you should find me an extremely reliable source in determining what good shows to catch on tv.

Monday -
Well, theres Tong Xin Yuan at 7. Haha. Even though approximately the whole world condemns my watching of the show, I am still a firm proponent of the family-based drama-rama. Its almost becoming soap like. What with the tumours and dementia. Its like Days of our Lives, only in Chinese. Haha. But the entirely dysfunctional family still makes it a good watch cos' it gives a pretty good laugh and its quite a good source of emotional distress. Haha.

Ok. Then theres Pao Ba Yi Ren at 8. Its actually also pretty funny even though everyone proclaims it to be a darn ripoff. While I agree, the stupidness and mundaneness of the celebrities are incredibly hilarious. Give it a chance.

K. Then at 9 on AXN theres NUMBERS. Which is this new drama series. Quite CSI like, only instead of science, they use maths to solve crime. Quite interesting. But the rather creepy male lead and the rather boring cast does make it quite dull.

Ya. Then at 9.30 theres New 5 Tonight. Always good to catch up with the latest news. Asha Papatlal or whatever is quite a good anchor. Haha.

Heh. I don't watch top model cos I don't aspire to be one and I don't really like to see Tyra Banks shouting at me like I'm her 2 year old kid. So I'm looking forward to Project Runway that premiers next week at 10. Giving it a chance but I heard from other reviews that its not a bad show.

Tuesday -
Well. Theres TXY again. Haha.

Err. Tuesday is quite a bad day for TV shows, cos theres nothing much to watch and that explains why I'm here. But do watch House on AXN at 9. Its real funny in a subtle way. The lead is hilarious, but you'll have to catch his humour. Haha. Ya. One of my favourite shows nowadays.

Wednesday -
Watch TXY.

Amazing Race at 9am, 830pm and then 9pm. Haha. Whats more to say. Go Weavers! Go Gaghans!

Ahh. I miss AMI.

Thursday -
Watch TXY.

You must also catch Joey at 730. Some people say its not as funny as friends, but I still think it makes do. Or maybe cos I'm sufferring from FWS or Friends-Withdrawal-Symptoms. So I take whatever junk I get. Heh. But its not bad lah. Too bad its ending soon. Wheres Season 2!

There used to be Villa Wellness at 830. Lee Huey was like Queen Funny but pity shes gone now and the fat ass Christina is the crap wellnes ambassador. Oh well. The show was quite screwed from the beginning. Only the contestants were funny.

Then theres Lost at 10. But too bad its ending soon too. Ahh. Whye Boone. Whye.

There used to be OC at 11. I didnt watch it before, but now that I'm so free, I'm compelled to give it a try.

The absolute must watch in the past was One Tree Hill at 12am. This was the grandmother of all tear-jerkers according to Shiqi. Heh. Who cries like a toilet bowl flushed. Ya k. Sorry SB. Heh. But then it isnt very cry-likish lah. Just that its quite heart-warming.

Friday -
Watch TXY. Muaha

Err. I think theres nothing much on Friday too except Survivor at 10. Go Steph. I hate the bloody Judd. I cant wait for him to get voted out. He talks like he owns the blardie forest and yet he was puking the moment he got there. Heh.

Saturday -
This ranks as the worst TV day cos there are no shows to watch. Boo. Day to go out to town and watch MOVIES. Hah. Watch flightplan. Jodie Foster is damn bloody good. Next from my mother, I'd have her as my mother. Cos then I'd feel save even though I'm about to be blown to pieces. I know that my mum will have superhuman strength to lift me under her cloak.

Sunday -
There used to be 7th Heaven at 9. Another heartwarming show. But it has since paved way for Debbie Travis's Facelift, which is quite nice. Last weeks epi about the manhattan bachelor pad was damn nice. I want a room like that too. Haha.

Anyway. Theres CSI Marathon at 12. CSI at 12. CSI : NY at 1 and CSI : Miami at 2. If you ask me, CSI Miami is probably the worst. CSI is the best and while CSI : NY is junk, it is still NY. So yeah. Haha. Then if you are bored of the CSIs, you can catch Desperate Housewives repeats at 2 on Starworld. Woolala.

Finally. Theres Apprentice at 10. Yea yea. Go Kendra. Whack the bloddy Craig left and right. Craig, you are a black piece of shit. And while you have this incredible innate ability to talk to others like they were born yesterday, YOU'RE FIRED! Woo! Yea.

Ya k. After a whole week of TV. You should be exhausted. Go sleep and prep for another weeks worth of TV!

Anyway. If you want any of these shows on DVD format, especially shows that just started or are about to premier like House or Numbers or Project Runway, I'd be happy to burn them for you with a nominal fee. Think about it, you'd have your own tv series! Shit. I sound like a bloody pirate.

Err. I just realised at my ultimate peak, I watch 18 hours of TV a week. And thats not including other times when I sit my lazy butt on the couch and flip through channels. Gosh.

Am I a TV addict?

Ya k. House starting. Bye you fools.

kenn thwacked an asshat munchkin' at 8:15 PM

Sunday, October 23

t.o.w. the sore butt

I am still not well.

My butt is crying for the diarrhoea to stop. Its red and sore from all the shitting. Even though I'm using top grade quality asswipe tissue to wipe my asscrack, the attrition and constant abrasion is still taking its toll. I fear for my ass.

I had a good dinner just now. Mushroom Swiss and Chicken Tenders. Some of you shout : "Kenneth! Whyee you fool, whyee!" Well its cos I'm sick of eating porridge and bland shit. The taste in my mouth of the melted cheese warrants another 10 potty visits.

Ahh. I'm too weak to do anything except shit.

Ya k, no sch school. Bye.

kenn thwacked an asshat munchkin' at 9:01 PM

Saturday, October 22

t.o.w. im in pain

I am weak.

My back aches from Open House yesterday what with all the running and jumping and bending.

And I am shitting pee. I move my fat bowels like two seconds after I eat or drink anything.

Help...

Someone told me backaches and diarrheoa coming together may be signs of kidney problems. I promptly told the person to go fly a kite.

I pray that the diarrhoea comes from an infection, maybe the victors tap water or the resin powder nests harmful bacteria.

Ya k, bye, the toilet beckons.

kenn thwacked an asshat munchkin' at 5:21 PM

Wednesday, October 19

t.o.w. the general econs disappointment

I AM GOING TO SOUND LIKE AN ASS IN THIS ENTRY.

I am motivated to blog by the stats despite the lethargy I feel.

Thank you, you fools, who come by my place everyday just to see if I've updated.

Argh. As much as I'd like to put the entire promos behind me and move on into J2 life, I feel it necessary for me to put this down on pen and paper or rather keyboard and screen so I have a reference point here next year.

Anyway, it's all about the motivation.

Well I guess I'm pretty pleased with Maths, Chem and Bio since I expected much worse. So theres that. But General Paper. Oh my gawd. What is wrong with me. I got a bloody C5 and that is way below what I've been averaging the whole year. I think i bloodily read too much into the compre questions, managed my time poorly and wrote a horrible content compo. The only real injust I feel is for my language marks for my compo. I felt it was one of the best and eloquent use of language I've done this year and I end up with a bloody 13 marks. The disparity is waay too low. INJUST, I cry.

And then theres econs. In which I put in so much effort into doing well only to get a silly bloody B because I chose the wrong essay question accidentally. Then again, thats all me and my stupidity. So I have nothing to complain about. All I can do is, well, nothing.

So theres that. ABCD with a stoopid C5. Apart from GP and Econs, I'm happy though. Anyone who thinks I'm a spoilt nerdy-ass who cant seem to appreciate the world for all its glory in achieving respectable marks better fuck off before I bore you to an extremely gruesome death with my expectations and standards.

I'm also quite pissed with certain people and how irremarkably naive they can get. It amazes me how everything that occurs during the day has to be a scaled C. And while the enthusiasm is perhaps unfathomable by anyone outside its boundaries, the constant repeating of the concerned subject over and over and over again clearly pisses me off. If you don't already know, different skills require different skillsets and different methods to develop these skillsets. There is no proper judging yardstick! And then it especially irks me how you can brush people off by saying that they simply do not bear interest in anything you are talking about when you are really actually trying to act superior. Argh. Thank god I only see you once a week, or I'll kill you before anything else. Then again, I'm reminded that no one is perfect so I shall see in such a way that your uniqueness is deployable in certain areas.

I'm also irritated by the laziness and shoving of tasks to others by others. Get a real life, not one revolved only around a central figure. And lastly, I'm irritated by others who keep fingering and fingering and fingering. FUCK YOUR OWN BLOODY SELF.

OK. I'm calm now.

Err. Nothing big really. Just that we played monopoly today and it was super fun. Haha. Advance to Mayfair. My home and Ade's temp. home. Haha. It was quite funny how we distorted the rules and such. Heh. Oh and then, we painted the bowling banner which is damn seh. Maybe not in terms of design nor artistic qualities, but the words rock BIG TIME. Heheh.
"Join the Strike Force, Spare No One" =)

Oh yah. Went to yuki yaki with Joy and Janice on Friday, after training cos' Joy wanted to collect her stamps and then we saw Anwar while eating uncooked beef, self-made omelettes and tons of prawns. And then we looked like goons eating the disgusting ice-cream that is totally unworth the price we paid. Haha. But yeah, it was pretty fun cooking and laughing and being dumb. Good friends.

Argh. I cant seem to type efficiently with this new keyboard.

K bye.

kenn thwacked an asshat munchkin' at 10:31 PM

Thursday, October 13

t.o.w. closed games and bladders

The world works in wonderous ways.

I got my first ever closed game while sick, albeit the score being ludicrously low, I'm still quite happy. Ya k, here it is.

X 0/ 6/ 6/ 0/ X 8/ X X 9/9

The first 5 frames were cock. Like the shit 0-spares that I got. But never mind, it was a pretty good game given the 8 week hiatus. Haha. The other games were not that bad. 178, 137 and 190! Makes for an average of 164. Way above my norm, but I'm happy. Maybe this is the new norm. Heh. What shit.

Anyway. Training was bad. My fingers are sore and my joints are cranky. It doesnt help that I fear I may have thumb cancer cos' theres this great big lump on the side of my right thumb. We haven't been training for so long, we all felt like shit after like 10 throws? Haha. Especially the sickly me who had to blow my nose after every throw. I think the resin powder provided no solace.

My thumb hurts quite badly.

My fingers are throbbing.

My right arm is flailing.

My nose is red.

But I'm a happy fool.

I think its shit how the post-promos schedule has been organised. They put the mass lessons like maths and pee wee waay into the afternoon and shit lessons like CLAO and AEP that not everyone takes in midday. All the more reason to pon. Just like today. Muaha.

Tomorrow we are getting back Econs. While I'm eagerly anticipating the results, I'm dreading the day of definition. ARGH.

Ok. Anyway. The funniest thing happened yesterday. I was waiting at the bloody taxi stand for a cab at the mrt station yesterday but to no avail. I also needed to pee very badly but I did not want to give up my first place in the queue to a smelly fat aunty. As most guys and some girls will know, prancing about like a 2 year old has a subduing effect over your imminent pee. But today, prancing about did not seem to elevate the situation probably because I drank like a whole bottle of water before that. I then realised I needed to walk about. However, given the steric dimensional restrictions of the taxi queue, I did not have much space to move about. As a result, I had to walk around and around my bowling bag with a bit of a twist and spring in my step so that I looked like I was trying to have fun looking like a ditz while waiting instead of looking like a dweeb. Quite fun. Everyone should try it sometime. I had to stop the pee-dance halfway because I realised the HC netball team was also in the queue.

Thank god the cab came soon enough.

kenn thwacked an asshat munchkin' at 1:25 PM

Monday, October 10

t.o.w. the great big belly rubaway

I am spending longer periods of time in the shower everyday.

You see, I am under the silly impression that fats can simply be rubbed away.

The Fat Rubaway Sing-A-Long

Oooooooo! Rubya fats awaaaay!
Rubya blubber away!
Rub and rub and ruberdubdub!
Rubya fats away!

A splash of water!
A dollop of soap!
A few seconds more!
Their gone!

Oooooooo! Rubya fats awaaaay!
Rubya blubber away!
Rub and rub and ruberdubdub!
Rubya fats away!

Sadly. The nincompoop who made up this myth is a junk of codswallop. So I have to turn to the more traditional methods of fat loss.

1. Starvation.
Let's see. I'm waking up late nowadays so I skip breakfast and then on days when I do take breakfast, I skip lunch. So the original two hundred and seventy-eight meals a day have now been reduced to TWO. Good job Kenneth.

2. Increase risk of heart-attack
I'm proud to announce that I've been exercising the hell out of me. I played tennis on saturday, ran on sunday and swam today! Extremely good results! I must have lost about 0.1 mg of fat after each session since I drank a whole can of coke after which. I feel tons fitter and thinner already.

Moving on. I've been approached to organise a grand celebration dinner for NP next year in recognition of our 10th gold award. Haha. I can feel the excitement building up already. Ahh. I still remember organising the YEP back in 03 and I sometimes am amazed at my own abilities. Heheh. Just because I felt the event went smoothly overall even with all the glitches and ups and downs, personal and business. Haha. I mean it wasnt a great big successful event but just to have been able to pull it off matters a great big deal to me just because everything that could go wrong went wrong. So yeah. Anyway. I miss those days though, the planning and visualising and meeting problems and having to solve them like rightaway. Yes! The adrenaline rocks. I feel all apprentice like. Haha. But anyway, back to the dinner, its supposed to be real grand and the budget is supposed to be sky-high since we are looking for major sponsors. A sit-down dinner at a premier hotel, complete with decor and atmosphere and everything else! This rocks. Ok, now I sound like a dumb 4 year old kid talking about his coming trip to Disney Land. And I get to meet Mickey and Donald! Oh! Oh! and Minnnnnie! (My favourite cartoon character is actually Jerry of Tom and Jerry, sadly I do not know if he/she/heshe is from Disney or not)

Err. The exercise is giving me headaches and the starvation is killing my villi. I need rest. Goodbye you fools.

kenn thwacked an asshat munchkin' at 10:31 PM

Friday, October 7

t.o.w. the antaiclimax

Boo. After the great big brouhaha over mugging and studying and wanting to do well, I finally closed the biology file and that significantly marked the end of studying for the year, but oddly enough despite all the waiting and anticipating of that moment to come, it was oddly sedate. I am a weirdo.

Oh well. Anyway, they are officially over! Which means I can enjoy watching tv, coming online, sleeping, tennis and going out! So I guess there are things to look forward to. Oh and OBK, which I hope is fun and also Shanghai! That ought to be good.

Anyway. As I was saying, the end of studying for the year was an anticlimax, or antaiclimax as I'd much rather call it in my bid to speak like an American so I don't get second-rated by the Chinese in Shanghai that stems from my lack of ability to speak the locale nor the ability to speak westernised English. I'm there for an entire week in a bloody city whose sights that entice me would probably last all for a minute. Apart from the good shopping though. I'm promised good authentic cheap designer goods. =) If Shanghai does not deliver, they will incur the wrath of Kenneth. His bulging biceps and triceps are a force to be reckoned with. Heh.

Anyway. I'm actually not in the best of moods to blog cos' I cant find anyone whose interested in watching Buble with me. Argh. I'm thinking its me and not the price nor the concert.

Also. I'm quite disgusted at my crass behavior yesterday. We were at Swensens trying to get the freaking waitress's attention and on impulse I clapped my hands as if summoning some genie out of the magic lamp. On immediate reflection, I found it extremely rude and crass of me. Behavior simply not befitting of a hwachong student! But then again, I look at what others have done to sully the schools' name and think maybe I'm ok. Haha. Anyway, I did try to make it up to the waitress by flashing my megawatt multi-billion-dollar-ensured smile at her in hopes of atoning for my disgusting behavior. Even though she reciprocated with a cheerful smile, I don't think the chicken carcass thing I have on my foreteeth made her day.

Err. Nothing much to say. I'm quite zoned out. Mainly cos I had dinner at 4 and have not eaten anything since.

Kenneth does not blog on an empty stomach.

Anyway. I have a lot of shit to rant about. Different topics that would each spand a single entry. And I'm reminded by some who postulate that I will have no readers soon if I keep posting entries like the previous one.

Society! When will you be ready?

kenn thwacked an asshat munchkin' at 11:01 PM