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hello couch potatoes,

the plus-shaped cursor turns on channel me.

the green button takes you to the tagboard

and the brown round one turns on archives and exits.

happy surfing,

Thursday, September 8

t.o.w. all the looking forward

WHAT THE FUCK.

Episode 102 - The Places That You Fear The Most

Peyton : "Brooke, have you ever looked past it all?"

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Brad :

"Can you smell it? Its the scent of disappointment.

I sometimes question my very own existence. I gorge myself with food and get good grades and basically just breathe and then I realised a while back that sometimes I do all these things blindly without realising that none of it is really for me and that just scares me. Like the sole purpose of my very own path in this world is for others and that I'm living a life I cannot lay a finger on and call it my own.

And then sometimes, I ponder and think maybe thats alright. There are the go-getters, the emotional-wrecks, the pain-in-the-butts and then there are the silent-treaders.

For the go-getters to steamroll past in competition for the accolades. For the emotional wrecks when they are down so they move on. For the thorns, to keep them in check just so they stop pricking others' behinds.

But at the end of the day, I guess theres nothing much there worth paying tribute to. And so what I cannot stomach is how easily this world can forget all that others have done for them. People arent just there for you, its a two way street. And so is Being-Nice-Lane. If all that was done was just so you could feel comfortable enough to sashay in and impress upon others your abilities and superiority of a position that others have gone lengths to give you and also your oh-so-mighty-power in understanding all others but yourself, than perhaps it wasnt done in vain but was done out of sheer stupidity.

If being me being me trying to be me is to be me at your beck, call and ridicule then I'm not entirely sure this is how I should ever try to live my life.

Its hard to please everyone. And when you finally do, you realise all this time the only unhappy person is yourself.

I wonder how things will turn out.

Even as hard as I try to look past this entire thing as a popularity game where the jocks and the cheerleaders are kings and queens of this castle, I seem to get thrown right back in. I will not for a single moment contemplate the decision to sit back and get sucked feet-adrift into this warped society."

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Ahh. Brad is so learned.

But for today, I'm just so tired of jostling.

I miss my old buddy Ernest. And then its times like these I'm thankful for the few good friends...
Passwords up! New one! "fcuk you" If you ever figure it out in the the first place though.
kenn thwacked an asshat munchkin' at 11:26 PM