televisions' life support

Tuesday, July 19

t.o.w. the pudgy pauper

It has been an embarrassing week.

I'm a pudgy pauper,
hear me fart.
Here is my tummy, here is my butt.
When you see me coming, run for life,
finish what you're eating, or it'll be mine.

If I am as rotund as I am dense, I am in trouble. In 3 mere days, I have been repeatedly branded as fat and today, indubitaby one of my sorriest days ever, I am now a pauper.

It all began on that very fateful Saturday. When a certain presumptuous cousin of mine stepped up to me just as I was about to leave and said "Why are you getting fatter?". I was immediately sent headfirst into the world where the disheveled roam. The ravages of the notion that I ; a skinny bag of bones, could actually have been branded as FAT. However, I'm proud to say that I stifled the indignation. As it did occur to me on hindsight that the comment was made by someone who would probably not have remained rooted after a couple zephyrs. I dealt with it.

Then later on that night, I went to my Grandmas and was in the lift with her. She was talking to my Grandpa and she said this about me, "... JIU LAI JIU PUI..." PUI! THAT'S PUI. The temerity of my Grandma! For a split second, her life, her very existence was in question. Despite the low levels of proficiency I have in dialect, I could tell what she meant. Crudely translated, she meant that I was getting fatter and fatter everyday. Such vile filthy language. I was offended. If it werent my predilection for her Salted Vegetables with Duck Soup ala Kiam Chai Arh Soup, I would have been apopletic.

Moving on. Today during break, I ate my Yong Tau Foo. However that did not satiate my lust for more food. And so I proceeded to purchase a hotdog and began munching with absolute euphoria. That was not too last, for I was immediately chastised by the TUB gang for having eaten too much. I must admit that I had had a plate of spaghetti the break before but what does a guy have to do to fill his stomach! These obviously fit girls that postulated my eating habits the very reason I was a member of the TUB club exacerbated the issue.

The quintessence of food is the enjoyment! Something I now no longer feel for.

I am fat. Hear me fart. Hear me buuuurrr-p.

As much as I resent the proposition that my once emaciated and gaunt look has now lapsed into oblivion, I have come to accept it. For the reason that the hard facts do not lie. I came in a 52 and now, barely 7 months in, I have put on Xkg (too much to disclose). I cannot afford to botch up my last attempt in attaining a gold in next year's Napfa.

Right. About the pauper. I was boarding the bus and made my payment. At least I thought I did. For the eZlink machine decided to antagonize me further in this already bad day by informing me (and much too conviniently, the whole world) that I was out of credits in my card. I muttered "Aww, Crap!". It seems thats all I do in times of diversity. When I fell and broke my teeth, I muttered the exact same words, even as the intensity of shame and embarassment was nothing compared to that of the unceremonious fall. All I could do was smile sheepishly at the driver, imploring him to let me on this free ride. Given the massive queue behind me, he had no choice but to oblige. And as I moved into the rear of the bus, it strucked me that it was the first time I hadnt paid for my fare knowingly. I felt stripped of all power. I did all that I could to avert the eyes of the people in lonely desperation who wanted nothing but good old-fashioned embarra-rama. I felt useless. I felt like filth, a free-rider (literally). I needed a good old scrub and a hot bath.

Ok. I'm exhausted from the entry. Haha. If you hadnt already noticed, my wielding of the English language has wizened and that has taken a toll on me ; having to pause ever so often to think up a nice word. This is all in an attempt to,

1. Raise my proficiency in the language.
2. Keep up with the verbose language present in BloggerCon.

Anyhow. I love my publicity IC job. We are ingenious.

Now, don't let me wake up from my reverie.

kenn thwacked an asshat munchkin' at 12:14 AM