televisions' life support

Friday, March 25

t.o.w. I freak out abt dengue

Hmm. Im trying to not get dizzy as I stare at the screen.

Yah. I'm sick. Not just normal sick, but miserably sick. I mean. I'm usually still quite hyper when I'm down with a cold or what not. But yeah. This time, I just feel miserable. Not sick miserable. But like, sian-miserable. I hope I get better soon.

So yeps. I went to the docs and he asked if I had any other symptoms except for fever. And I went like "no." Which is actually also odd for me, cos' I almost always have a sore throat first and then the fever sinks in. Oh well. And then the spooky doctor, who all of a sudden, looks a lot like Mr Potato Head with that moustache and gelled hair and round face, says "thats more worrying". So yeah. I'm a suspected dengue case! Woo.

As much as I don't want to get dengue. I think I will. Hahx. Its like, one night I was sleeping, and I heard this dumbass mosquito buzzing around my head. Then the next day, as I looked out of my window, I saw tons of dead mosquitoes on the window sill. And then I realised theres like a dengue epidemic and what not. And lastly, I woke up today to see some dengue shit article on the newspaper headlines. Way to go signals! Actually a tiny minute part of me wants me to have dengue. Someone told me its like, once you have it, you're never gonna get it again. Hey! If thats the case, I mean, I've already been through 3 days of hell. I wouldn't exactly mind if I finish it right here right now. But then again. Nah..

And I also hate pills. Let me just come out and say it. I do not do pills and lizards. I mean. You could put me on fear factor, and I would at least try any of those grossed out stunts of heights-related kinda shit. But if you asked me to touch a lizard, then yeah, I'd probably asked Joe Roegan to fly his own kite. Either the lizard crap, or if I were to swallow half a dozen pills. I cannot do it. I think somethings wrong with my gag reflex or something. I don't do pills.

Okaez. Enough about the sickness. I'm at home all day, I've been watching so much television. I'm hooked back on on Oprah. Shes just someone I admire. Maybe one day I can get to go on an interview on the Oprah. That'll be nice. Maybe something on dengue-awareness.. Hehex.

Hmm. Okaez. So the first 3 months is up. The class is weirded out in a very sad way.

Ronald. Arghz. I actually feel kinda bad about the way I treated him. Maybe Boonpins' right and he actually really ok once you get past the weird humour. Ok lah. Feel quite sorry. So yeah. Hope things go well for him.

Liping. Changing combi.. Haiz. I really wonder if econs is really that bad. Hahz. I remember that comment I made to someone about it. I feel good about it. But yeah. I can't really stop people from leaving just cos' I don't want them to. It'll be wrong lah. Its selfish. Is what it is, is what it is. Yeah. I'll miss liping. Shes like actually really fun and I thought she was a genuinely nice person when we had that hearty chat online. So yeah. Bahz.

Weiheng. Another person changing combi. What can I say, I'm a tad bit disappointed I didnt really like really get to know you. Maybe because I was a spoilt brat and refused to come out of my comfy shell. But yeah. I'll miss him trying to spur me on during runs and me trying to complete a single pullup. Hahx. :)

Pamela. Ahz. I'm gonna miss her being around the class too. Just like, shes really someone I thought I could talk to objectively about stuff. It was nice. Haiz. I remember that dinner we had at bukit timah plaza wif weien and lijia and we really talked. Yeps. Haiz.

Shiqi! Ahz. Soul brother. Haha. I had a nice chat with her last night though I know I probably kept repeating the same stuff over and over again under my paracetamol-induced stupor. Hahx. But yeah. I really hope she makes it back in. Shes like, someone I can really relate to lah. And all those super nice convos we had online. Arhz. I'm not going to forget my soul brother. =p

Weien! Ahz. Ice-kachang! Hahx. Yar. Like we 3 really had a lot of fun lah. And I'm really happy to have made such a good friend. Someone who will always tell me at 9++ at night that its late and we are tired and we don't want to do homework. Hmmz. And of course, I remember that day we were frying nuggets and onion rings like 2 rich kids who had never stepped foot into the kitchen before. Ahz. Another person I'm probably not going to forget in a really really long time. Oh well. All the best you toot! =)

Yeps. I can't say I'm all excited about the second intakes. I don't even know if I'll be there to welcome them. Oh well. Its just sad right now. I'm all giddy again. I need a few more days.

To recover and regroup.

01-05s74. =)

kenn thwacked an asshat munchkin' at 11:27 AM

Thursday, March 17

t.o.w. the new game

Bye Bye straight game. Hello nothing.

Yesh. I'm so dead. I have no game now. I really threw the straight game out the window today. And try as I might, neither can I hook nor spin. What comes out is a sort of a hookish spin. I call it a spok. And umm, sadly it wasnt working. But I'm contented with the couple of times the ball did hook in to a certain or very little extent. Its quite nice. So umm yeah. I don't know how I did it, but I hit a 172 today. Which is probably my second highest score, so yeah! But then as I was really trying to spok the ball, my scores were atrocious. Never mind. Its well expected. I just hope I figure a way out soon. Anyway, 6 games today. I'm super tired now. Oh well.

Broke the ice. I hope. =D

stay spok'y

kenn thwacked an asshat munchkin' at 9:01 PM

Tuesday, March 15

t.o.w. I got it back

Woo! I'm back! Hahz.

Yeps. I'm back in on the happy-wee-woo-waa mood, and I'm intent on staying right here! =D

Hahx. Okiez. I have to thank guanyinma. Umm. Yah. That sounds weird. But yeah. Hahz. For reminding me of a little sentence that I live by. Positivity transcends into power in life and so each day I live, I live to be the very best. So, yeps. I like, totally flipped, in a very positive way. So like, kicked the sianified mood out of the way. =D. Now actually, that phrase was partly adapted from Whitney's One Moment in Time. So yeps. Powerful lyrics with an of course powerful voice. Pretty motivational. Hahx

Yeps. Had bowling chalet. Ok larz. I bowled quite ok there. But like, even Kegan is already hooking. I think I better start practicing soon. But then my scores are gonna be shitty for the next 2-3 months? Arghz. Oh well. You got to do what you go to go. =D. So yeah. The J1 turnout was pretty pathethic. Sheena, Brian, Kegan, Yongtat and myself. And Sheena and Kegan didnt even stay over lah. So yeps. Hahx. But it was quite alrite. Got to know some seniors better. I think I finally know all their names. Wee! I'm extremely high lah. It feels good to be back on a high. =D Yeps. Played mahjong and cards and ate like 2 tonnes of chicken wings. Yumz. Heyz. I skewered them at the expense of my blood. To all bowlers. :D Hahx. Actually the chalet was quite tame and sedate lah. Apart from the ultra lame jokes from andrew and all, it was quite sian. Hahx. We all slept at 2+ 3. Though I'm not complaining. The room was comfy. I was freezing in a very happy way. Umm. Yah. My room aircon sucks lah. Any room with an aircon that goes sub-twenties. I'm cool.

Yeps. The next day, bummed to meet shiqi and alison at tanah merah. But I was early by almost an hour lah. So I decided to take the train down to Tampines to check out Tampines mall. Aiz. I got in and I got super bummed lah. Like, so many changes! I mean, the structural integrity is still there lah. But all the shops are gone and the entire fourth floor looks so darn different. Yeps. And I couldnt help but feel emotional lah. Cos' I grew quite attached to TM back then when mum had lapagayo going on there. Yeps. Like. It was my turf lah. I knew every nook and cranny. Especially the fourth floor. Yeps, so I went up to the 4th floor to see the extended foodcourt and the entire original lapagayo store entirely phased out of the structural design. It was quite emotional lah. Man oh man. I remembered how I used to hang around at the counter, doing the bills. Or sleeping in the storeroom. Or sitting at the kiddie play table. Gosh. Time flies. Changes too. Oh and how I ALWAYS took the ultra secretive service lift so I didnt have to squeeze nor wait. So yeps. It was just like, a walk down memory lane. Hahaz.

Had fac night. Which was pretty sedate lah. I mean. Yeah. Hahx. The games werent as raunchy as I expected hormonally-charged up (if there's such a word) teens to have. Hahx. Oh well. But Wenyi was fac princess so yeah. Totally lost my voice screaming for her. Baahz. Went to bowl with the class after that. I think I sucked. Hahx. The balls didnt fit lah. But blame thy ball I shall not. Hahx. And umm, yah, to s74, I wasnt stressed lah. Thats my bowling face. I'm not very nice when I bowl. Hahx. Yeah. I wasnt playing well anyway. And once my thumb got stuck and I flew out with the ball so I fell. Oh man. And another time, I dropped the ball cos I wanted to try to hook it. Hahx. Uncle Paaauuullll. Help! Better go for training on thursday.

Umm yahz. Talked crap. Played games. Watched friends. I'm too tired to blog anymore. Had a nice time though. Even as I was kinda feverish. Oh well. Hmmz. But I'm still on a high. Had a nice convo just now. Didn't talk much. Just reaffirms. Good enough.

Stay hyper y'all!

kenn thwacked an asshat munchkin' at 9:30 PM

Thursday, March 10

t.o.w. the lost happy happy

I hate it when people lie to me. Don't ever dare lie to me about serious stuff.

Yeps. Hahx. This blog arh, its really getting entirely negative lah. But what the heck, its the sad things that bother me. I keep the good things in my head and bring them out as and when I need to cheer myself up.

Hmmz. Was really sian today. Actually started off the day ok, but then things happen. And I realised the situation I think I'm in, might not turn out to be what it really seems to be. So that bugged me for a while. Apparently no one really thought I was sianified, either that, or they just didnt care. Hahx. Anyway, snapped out of it.

Hmmz. Talk about Pam's dad. Yeah. Its really saddening and all, and its like, these things are happening more often than not. But Pam seems really really strong. So yeah, something in me just tells me shes gonna come out of this a better and stronger person. I mean, I don't know how to articulate how I feel about the entire thing. But yeah, I definitely think she's a really mentally strong person. Hmmz. Oh well, but the issue got me thinking again. As always. Its like, I can't help but feel skeptical and paranoid, that my turn would come soon. Given how, I definitely do not wish for things to end at the current state I'm in, I think I need to put in more. Try at least.

Happy Happy. Its really gone. Like for now. But its like, I know how to get it back. I just don't know if I dare to do so. Cos' then I'll be giving up other things. But then again, I really need to be my true self. So yeah. I know what I'm gonna have to do ; just don't know how to go about doing it. But yeah, I'm gonna work on going back to being me. No more facade. No more veneer pretence. Even if it means giving up something I have learnt to cherish and like over this couple of months. I'm just gonna have to do it. Yeps. =)

Lies. Deceit. I know its obviously prevalent in todays society. And yeah, I basically know that it comes with being a social creature. But yeah, when you give and you give and give so much truth to someone. You obviously expect the same back. So yeah, it doesnt matter if someone who doesnt matter to you lie to you. But when you realise that someone whom you have respected and trusted all this while has actually been lying. Then yeah. It just totally negates the trust you have in people and it affects people across the board, so it makes you a little afraid to trust. This coming from years of first-hand experience I have. The times I've been lied to. =( Hahz. All this actually coming from a speculation. Like I don't know whats going on. It could be a lie, it could be the truth, or it could just be a very confused mind. But people's actions affect me very much so. I'm just like that. But yeah, thinking (as I always do, excessively) back, if the former scenario ever presented itself to me, then yeah, I guess I'll feel really really disappointed.

Negative energy all round the class. Hope things become better.

kenn thwacked an asshat munchkin' at 9:03 PM

Thursday, March 3

t.o.w the Os aftermath

Seven is the new six. Indeed.

Or maybe its just me wallowing in self-pity. Then again, that wouldn't be right. Well, I got 7 points. 7 A1s, 3 A2s. Bio and the languages being the banes. Hmm. I was kinda relieved about the results, cos' at least it means I can stay in hwachong. Was really upset about English though. Damn. I worked so hard for it. Even bothered to go do my "vocab 245". Must be the compo. Anyway, yeah, I just felt really disappointed. And I also kinda felt bad for loke, cos it was like, she really helped me a lot. Haiz. Anyway, the prior premonition was that if I got 7 pts, I would rejoice in being able to partake in another 2 years in hwachong. But, surrounded in a sea of 6 pointers in class, it didnt really make me feel very much joyful. Hmmz. Yeah. What can I say? I never expected my bio and hcl to get a one. So, it was basically English that really let me down. Oh well... Hmmz, but while I'm feeling sad and disappointed, I do keep in mind that the disappointment that I'm feeling is no way near some others. So yeah. Shant bugger down myself too much. There's better things in life to look forward to. Then again, I was thinking about the assessment criteria. Its quite dumb how its possible for half a mark to determine if someone can stay or not. Oh well, I'm just praying s74 stays like this. =)

Hmmz.. Life is getting pretty much routined. Not that I'm not enjoying it though. I'm living it day by day. Its alright, but its pretty easy to get moody nowadays. :( Okaez, this blog is becoming more and more negative. Its like a negative pensive. Hahx. Its really not uplifting at all. And I think the whole revelation from happy/funny blog to sad/bad blog is really cos' I'm only blogging when I'm moody. Hahaz. Otherwise I usually laugh it out in my head. =P.

Got to get back the happy happy.

Hmmz. Yeah. I had it back last year. I mean, I rarely felt sad. I was like, really contented with life then. Now, I'm like having to fight for things that I don't necessarily need nor believe in. Its really quite crappy. I was a whole lot more carefree last year as that lonesome loner. Incessantly dissing everything in the world in an extremely positive way. =) I desperately need that kinda happy happy life again. =)

So yeah, I hope I get it back soon. =P

I think I'm still lame enough at times to keep me joyful though. I'm really simple to please. =)

Yeps. Even though I'm sure I'm gonna put down hwachong as my first choice in the JAE. I don't know if I'll be happiest here. I'm like, tired of having to try so damn hard academically for a grade. Really, what can you do in society in the future equipped with binomial theorum skills. I don't want to live up to anyones expectations. Period.

Hmmz. Maybe I should privatise this blog? Hehex.

Stay happy happy!

kenn thwacked an asshat munchkin' at 10:00 PM